Hey Christian aspies, why is God so cruel to me?

Post Reply New Topic

Today is one of the days when I realize God was being cruel to me my entire life. I feel like an outcast because I have a physical disability that is a mild form of Joubert Syndrome. I don't feel like I am being segregated, and with my love life, it feels like I can only attract people very similar to me (i.e. has a debilitating disability, isn't very attractive etc.) so I only have to settle for what I can get. God is mean and cruel. People say that God isn't cruel, but then people also said that about Hitler.

I want out so badly. I use to find hope in the Christian vision of Heaven, but there is no need to have relationships and sex out there as I described it. If I had my own vision of paradise, I would be totally gone from my physical and intellectual disabilities, and I would be totally de-segregated without any memory in my head of the segregation and suffering I went through. I feel so bad, because Hell is my only other option as far as Christianity goes. I don't want to get into heaven. I really want my own paradise, I don't want God's rules.

God killed way more people during the flood than Hitler could ever imagine.

Because He can.

you're suffering because you allow your desires to rule you, and you have a perverse sense of what is good.

Yeah, the buddhists got it right. The way to avoid pain in life is to stop wanting stuff or thinking you deserve anything.

Actually, I was thinking of the Stoics (like the guy in my avatar) when I wrote that, but it is pretty buddhist too.

The Stoics and Buddhists are very similar at a practical level.

Dear K Kelly,
Disclaimer: my directness is never meant to insult.

Your train of thought is quite common. Many people feel that way...and even Christians in the beginning of learning their faith have began with that train of thought. As a matter of fact, while you may feel mad at God, He understands your disdain for pain, suffering, and unfairness. And He knows that your disdain for evil can lead you to the light. God tells us in the bible that if we pray for guidance, God will answer our questions. I feel the easiest way to respond to your post is through bulleted strings of thought, since there are many singular ideas that lead to my conclusion...and so I can toss in direct responses to your post as well:

- Feeling like an outcast is hard to overcome and may take many years. It can be a struggle that gets easier with time, but in remembering that feeling.....u will have an outlook that most "ordinary", "pretty", or "less challenged" people often forget. YOU and many like you will have such a strong grasp of what it means to be treated poorly that YOU can have a heart wise enough to know how NOT to treat others. That is a very priceless pearl of wisdom.

- If you ask for God's help and you are strong enough to overcome the pain and rejoice in your knowledge, you can use it to help others as well. If not, it often happens that people live in their own personal hell that they somewhat created for themselves in not trying hard enough to overcome their self pity (which is normal at first but a long period of self pity damages you further. I like to simply remind myself to "shake it off." It works most of the time, but it's okay to be sad sometimes. To restate, sadness can help you reflect.

- God is not cruel, but education can be tough. Otherwise, our hang ups may blind us.

- You say you can only attract people similar to you, so you have to settle, but do you like it when people think they are "settling" for you? If you have an ugly child and a pretty child, do you favor the pretty one? Our perceptions begin with our own eyesight, and can be strengthened by our ideas. I once had to remind myself that my eyes can deceive me, and rather than look at people at face value, the only thing I needed to focus on was their hearts. Goodness and wickedness can be easily determined if we stop looking at the packages....and "listen" to the words people speak. I think of this as a test. God sort of teaches us to "perceive" in an entirely different way. I'd rather have 20 ugly people around me with big hearts than one celebrity or spouse in my life who is mean and aims to destroy my life. But are YOU willing to stop looking for superficiality and submerge yourself in what "others" might deem less fortunate....all the while realizing your own blessings and seeing those blessings as richer than someone who has only greed and lust around them with little or no moral conscience? Can you submerge yourself in sheer love and trust?

- Earth is not paradise. Earth is what I like to think of as boot camp. It's rough. It's hard. It'll irritate you at times. You may feel weak at times. But when it's all said and done, you either pass or fail. And if you pass, you become a useful subject of God's to help fight evil or whatever God has in store for you, because you have learned the pitfalls of this life. You know how easy it is to get pulled into a bad situation. You've seen the temptations and eventually see the awful mess that following those temptations can lead to. And you will stand strong because of it. Can you see your struggles as a badge of honor rather than as a personal attack? When you punish a child, do you do it bcuz you are evil and cruel? or do u do it to protect that child...one of the most beautiful things on earth. That's how u must see God's love in order to find faith. You HAVE to know he wants u to see the answers and teach you to keep safe!

Inevitably, it's your choice. But if you were looking for a real answer, then that's what I shared. Have a beautiful day