Bad luck streak with females?

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Yigeren
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26 Dec 2015, 5:37 am

Sometimes I wonder if I would have been better off dating an aspie guy, although maybe our personalities would be too similar and clash.

Most of the guys on here I find interesting (as far as you can tell from a post) and it makes me wonder how so many seem to have trouble with women. But I guess I'm the sort that is mainly interested in personality, rather than money or looks.

Maybe aspie guys just have a lot of trouble with confidence. I know girls like confidence in a man. I know I do. But then too much comes off as arrogance. It's a fine line. I don't know, I guess I should be glad I'm not a man.



Sabreclaw
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26 Dec 2015, 6:00 am

Yigeren wrote:
Sometimes I wonder if I would have been better off dating an aspie guy, although maybe our personalities would be too similar and clash.

Most of the guys on here I find interesting (as far as you can tell from a post) and it makes me wonder how so many seem to have trouble with women. But I guess I'm the sort that is mainly interested in personality, rather than money or looks.

Maybe aspie guys just have a lot of trouble with confidence. I know girls like confidence in a man. I know I do. But then too much comes off as arrogance. It's a fine line. I don't know, I guess I should be glad I'm not a man.


Ah, confidence. Problem with confidence is once it takes a hit it's just a downwards spiral. Feeling unconfident makes you awkward around people which causes them to be more dismissive of you which causes your confidence to plummet even further. Never figured out how you're supposed to build it back up when you're in that situation.



ResilientBrilliance
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26 Dec 2015, 11:28 am

Wow you've written a novel over this. Maybe think about other things.



Yigeren
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26 Dec 2015, 5:02 pm

Sabreclaw wrote:
Yigeren wrote:
Sometimes I wonder if I would have been better off dating an aspie guy, although maybe our personalities would be too similar and clash.

Most of the guys on here I find interesting (as far as you can tell from a post) and it makes me wonder how so many seem to have trouble with women. But I guess I'm the sort that is mainly interested in personality, rather than money or looks.

Maybe aspie guys just have a lot of trouble with confidence. I know girls like confidence in a man. I know I do. But then too much comes off as arrogance. It's a fine line. I don't know, I guess I should be glad I'm not a man.


Ah, confidence. Problem with confidence is once it takes a hit it's just a downwards spiral. Feeling unconfident makes you awkward around people which causes them to be more dismissive of you which causes your confidence to plummet even further. Never figured out how you're supposed to build it back up when you're in that situation.


Good question. I don't know myself. I have horrible self-confidence. I guess talking with people that aren't jerks who will give honest compliments as well as honest criticisms would help me. Being constantly rejected socially certainly doesn't help.



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26 Dec 2015, 7:12 pm

ResilientBrilliance wrote:
Wow you've written a novel over this. Maybe think about other things.


I try to, but unfortunately I'm a mentally undeveloped, hormone-driven teen who can't wait to settle the heck down and also finish mental development.

Seriously, when will I start to calm down, when will the mood swings and emotional turmoil all settle down?

I wish all this energy could be used on my hobbies and interests and it usually is, but right now my depression is especially deep and I'm all out of inspiration on almost everything - writer's block, musician's block, everything....

And, about confidence, I'm actually quite confident, but confidence only gets you so far, and even confident people have their low points. Whatever you see here on WP is probably most likely to be me at my low points.



Yigeren
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27 Dec 2015, 4:13 am

Could be that it's more anxiety than teenage hormones right now. You sound like your anxiety is quite severe and probably not healthy for you. It's not uncommon to be severely depressed/anxious at your age, but it should be dealt with appropriately.

Wondering if you've recently seen a doctor or therapist.



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27 Dec 2015, 6:05 am

The offers available for a psychologist and I have the feeling I will go to one and admit I need help in many areas, but no I haven't seen one in a very long time.

My functioning in high school was fine and I had almost no difficulties at all and was basically a normal person but I know young people can find the transition from teen to adult immediately after high school to be extremely difficult.

Lol what's so bad about me and my anxiety everyone's starting to say it that I think too much into this stuff and have got to get help.

I enjoy my sense of independence and self-reliance and it's always gotten me through thick and thin and it can now as well. I'm fine for the most part. Yeah I feel lonely and miserable every day but then again doesn't almost every aspie male here?

I'm not suicidal either, and never will be.

either way I think this is what prolonged time alone does to you anyway - you think too much and your thoughts start to get a bit weird.



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27 Dec 2015, 6:07 am

But thanks to people who are looking out for me that's what friends usually do anyway - point you in the right direction when you are losing focus/aim in life.



Yigeren
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28 Dec 2015, 1:55 am

I tend to overthink things myself ( a lot), so yes, I do get what you mean. Sometimes it helps to just break yourself out of it for a bit if you can so that you can see things with new eyes.

Hope everything works out for you. :)