Hi! I was diagnosed with Aspergers around 2009 (I was about 24 I believe), and with so many things going on in my life at the moment, I keep finding myself back on the road to rediscover myself.
One of my latest challenges that has resurfaced and making things really difficult for me, is my inability to speak, or speak clearly and fluently in certain situations.
For example, I can talk somewhat comfortably with my parents when I'm with my girlfriend and we are all having a bit of a laugh. But if it's just me and my parents, I struggle immensely to say more than a few words, and it often takes a lot of effort to get it out (I once tried to ask my mum if my girlfriend could stay over for the night, and I honestly thought I was going to black out. My brother gave me his inhaler because it looked like I was really struggling to breathe).
Other situations where I find myself unable to speak or feel like I'm going to black out tend to be in moments of disagreement or frustration. If someone does something wrong, and I'm not in a happy go lucky, care free mood, the more it annoys me and the more I want to tell them, the darker my vision seems to get (if I'm really frustrated by it), and the words just refuse to come out! This is making it impossible to stand my ground, as my lack of verbal response is letting people get the best of me (and the vicious cycle grows).
I've done some reading (but not an awful lot, to be honest) and it sounds like it could possibly be selective mutism. But I'm not entirely sure, partly because of not seeing anything about lightheadedness and darkening vision when it gets really bad (like in arguments and highly disagreeable situations).
If anyone could help point me in the right direction of some advice/support or what I can do about it, or even what it might be if it's not selective mutism, I would really really appreciate it!!
Thank you!
16 Dec 2015, 2:53 pm
