Potentially on the spectrum?

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Hi, I am new to wrongplanet so I’m sorry if this is the wrong place for this to be posted.

I think I might be on the spectrum and am trying to figure out what to do next. It’s always been apparent I was a little different but I’ve never known exactly why or cared too much to find out. I finally have decided to find out if there is a reason for some of my behaviors or not. I saw a post someone wrote on Asperger’s on a blogging website and I identified with so much of it so I started researching it. I eventually found some quizzes and so far I’ve taken 4 online quizzes which all indicated “likely on the spectrum.” Which I guess is a start. I guess I just want some opinions on whether or not I might be right. I can’t decide if I should pursue a diagnosis nor do I know how to go about it really. I’m really open to hearing others thoughts and think it would be helpful for me a little bit. Sorry if this seems all over the place, it was more difficult than I thought to articulate all of this.

I’m 21 years old girl and I’m a college student.

Socially: I don’t like small talk nor am I good at it, I struggle in situations where the context in not clear, can’t talk on the phone well, often say inappropriate things on accident, told I have a ‘resting b***h face’, group conversations are difficult-never know what to say, when to say it, hate making eye contact, too blunt, not empathetic ‘enough’
I really struggle with reading others body language and others have told me mine is difficult to read, this has become especially apparent as I’ve started dating or ‘talking’ to people.

I don’t think I have any routines/rituals but I’m sure my family and friends would disagree, I just like to do things a specific way and prefer not to deviate from it.

Socializing is much easier and less stressful when I drink alcohol. I think I use alcohol to an extent to fit it better. I’ve never had a lot of friends and never been good at making them. I am much more comfortable with my very close friends and they don’t mind my ‘quirks’ too much anymore. Although they don’t understand or like when I don’t want to go certain places with them or hang out with other people. I tend to rely on mimicking/faking-it when I am in social situations where I don’t know the proper manner to express things but I am expected to speak.

Sensory: I hate to be touched, certain noises upset me, don’t like loud noises, don’t like the feeling of certain fabrics, HATE to be barefoot, don’t like fluorescent lighting, don’t like to touch or eat certain things

Academic: I struggle with courses/topics that don’t interest me. I am a kinesic learner and do not well in lecture settings when the professor just talks at us. I am a terrible test taker, how I do rarely reflects the amount of knowledge I have on the topic, it has become very frustrating. I rely on doing and repetition to learn things. I am easily distraction and there is often too much going on in lectures to remain focused.

General: I have terrible volume control and often talk way too loud or way to quietly.
I like numbers a lot and I am studying engineering.

I listen to songs or sounds that I find pleasing over and over again.

I don’t identify strongly as male or female and I dress and feel very androgynous.
The closest thing to a ‘special interest’ I have is rubik’s cubes. I can solve many different sizes and shapes. I do it for fun, to calm myself, or to pass time. Aside from rubik’s cubes I like learning about how things work, I spend a lot of time reading about new things and trying to understand them. I also like to do anything with my hands; I like to take things apart and to put things together.

I do terribly with verbal directions, I rarely remember them. I must write things down or repeat them to remember.

I do get very overwhelmed with certain things. I’m not very good at expressing when things are becoming too much and often end up shouting, leaving, or offending others to get it to stop. This has become a bigger issue for me lately. I usually end up ‘shutting down’ until I feel okay again. I don’t think I stim but I do shake my hands, bounce my leg and roll my neck at certain times.

I am very neat and clean. I don’t like clutter and everything has a specific place it belongs.
I tried to include as much information as I could. Feel free to give your input or any advice. I’d really appreciate it. Thanks.

I am not one to be able to answer that as I'm still learning and just now going for evaluation. But, I want to offer you words of encouragement that you will find your answer. Until I came here, I did not find anything or anybody who I could identify with. So, stick around and maybe some of the more educated and experienced will help you the way they helped me. Just be aware that you are also talking with a group of people here who are spread across a very big spectrum and that can present awkward situations as you do not know what will trigger someone to just shut you off and not ever reply to you again. Stick with it. There is a lot of good information here, good experiences to let you learn as you go.

Good luck!!

You have several key traits associated with Autism.
My first step is to find out what resources there are at your college for getting diagnosed. This is a must, anybody diagnosing you should be knowlagible in how Autism Spectrum conditions present in Adult females. I would try to get this done if possible before you graduate. It can get quite expensive post graduation.

The goal is not to get an Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis per se but to find out what is holding you back, stressing you out etc.

I would be careful about that alcohol use. It relaxes your inhibitions so you feel better socializing. In college there is a lot of peer pressure and opportunity to use alcohol. Feeling better when socializing does not equate to bieng better at it. If one is on the Autism spectrum because of issues related to reading body language and social cues it becomes easier to get unintentionally involved with bad situations. Losing your inhabitions has the same effect. So if you are an inebriated person on the spectrum, not good.

Not trying to get on that bandwagon, but I do want to reinforce what is being said by both past and present examples.

I couldn't have said it better myself on the diagnosis part. There are many things that can be something else completely. Knowing the root of an issue is much better than treating only the symptoms. I can give you more examples in private about that as it leads to this:
Ahhhhh, drugs...takes me back to simpler times when we were cool and anybody over 35 was not.

But seriously, it is treating a symptom and not the root issue. And, it definitely can lead to bad things. VERY bad things. Again, more in private on that.

Pot was great. Still not too bad. But, it is no longer social lubricant. It is strictly for relaxing. Back in the day, oh at least for 25 years, I was high and so was everyone around me. Kinda no wonder I got by for so long. Expensive as it is, it will have to wait until I get all my doctorin' done. And, that is no problem because it does not have any dependencies in me.

But, it did lead me to hang with some of the wrong people because it was just part of the scene. Nobody went all "Reefer Madness" on me and did bad things to me. It was just like a guy I knew a while back. He was a recovering alcoholic. I asked if he was going to be ok at a place because there were going to be people drinking and a lot of liquor. He said, and I quote, "There are billions of people who are perfectly ok drinking, and god bless 'em for that. I can't. But, why should that stop the world?" That, nice, wise man was the type of person I am talking about. He was perfectly fine sober. But apparently not so cool while in the midst of that disease.

So, do not depend on drugs like that to regulate yourself. Medications are not all the same. And I refer to medications as properly researched and posted drugs. Not street level drugs.

I dont see any signs that can be red flags for disability

People often forget that Autism is a disability, and it can disable person in large or small ways, such as difficulty maintaining relationships or adjusting to change. Just because someone is social awkward and sensitive doesn't mean they're autistic, there needs to be a impairment in the ability to function or a need for support. Some of the most mild people i know still need support in their daily lives.

I cant be the one to answer it though, you do fit in with the autistic community, but im no psychologist, i only took 1 class on the subject, lol.

Take a look at your life, How do you adjust to stress, frustration and change? How do your relationships work out? Can you maintain a job? Are you frequently Depressed or anxious?

I Think if your struggling due to the traits you listed above, DEFINITELY seek a consult with a skilled therapist however if these are nothing more than 'quirks' than you may just be a sensitive introvert.

https://www.autismspeaks.org/what-autis ... c-criteria