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Losing friends

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Tori0326
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24 Jan 2016, 12:31 pm

Acadiana wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
The worst rejections that I have faced are when I see someone who I have been close to before hand and everything appears to be fine. Why they even act like my friend. Then I see them on a different occasion and it's like they have pulled a 180.

Summer, the same exact thing happens to me. Friendly, chatty, good conversation (atleast it was to 'me', ha) smiling with me on one occasion, then see her again another day down the road? I get the total cold shoulder. It's very confusing and sort of painful. Thankfully, these women don't mean much to me at all, so that may make it easier than someone who's got a crush or is in love....& then be treated like that. Ouch.


Yes, this happens to me also. I go out socially with an individual or group of people and from my perspective it went great. I had a good time, I think I was friendly and witty, that they enjoyed my company....only to never be invited to join them again. Suddenly, they're busy every weekend for the next 20 years. :?



MLawrenson
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24 Jan 2016, 1:35 pm

I'm afraid I've learned to keep my distance from people because of this. I'm not good at emotional engagement anyway, so why bother? Because of this I'm unlikely to be socially "useful" to most people, so there's little point in dealing with them on anything more than a superficial level.

No need to be deliberately rude or unpleasant, just I had to realise I've have little to give. So what little I have, I keep to myself now.



Acadiana
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24 Jan 2016, 1:51 pm

Tori0326 wrote:
Acadiana wrote:
Summer_Twilight wrote:
The worst rejections that I have faced are when I see someone who I have been close to before hand and everything appears to be fine. Why they even act like my friend. Then I see them on a different occasion and it's like they have pulled a 180.

Summer, the same exact thing happens to me. Friendly, chatty, good conversation (atleast it was to 'me', ha) smiling with me on one occasion, then see her again another day down the road? I get the total cold shoulder. It's very confusing and sort of painful. Thankfully, these women don't mean much to me at all, so that may make it easier than someone who's got a crush or is in love....& then be treated like that. Ouch.


Yes, this happens to me also. I go out socially with an individual or group of people and from my perspective it went great. I had a good time, I think I was friendly and witty, that they enjoyed my company....only to never be invited to join them again. Suddenly, they're busy every weekend for the next 20 years. :?

Right?? Totally BAFFLING.


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 123 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 93 of 200
You seem to have both neurodiverse and neurotypical traits
AQ=38


AsahiPto17
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24 Jan 2016, 3:43 pm

Wow, this seems to happen a lot to aspies, weird. It happened to me too, someone who I thought was a close friend decided to cut all contact with me. Even though she knew I had an extremely hard time making friends and that I considered her my closest friend probably ever at the time. I know I did a part to play to cause her to reject me looking back, but it still hurt none the less.

Like others have said, if they cut all contact with you and started partitioning themselves away from you beforehand were they ever really a "good friend"? I know I would rather have the people that I consider close friends that are there for you, or at least a little bit kinder and more honest. That's what to look for I suppose.

Best of luck to you OP :3