Hello everyone,
I'm 22 years old and have recently received both an ASD and NVLD diagnosis back in September. Since then, I have been doing a lot of personal research on autism. Since I'm a woman on the very high functioning end of the spectrum, I consider myself very lucky to have made it as far as I have in life. I recently graduated college in May with a BA and I'm going for my Master's in Art Education within a year or so. I can easily hold a job, and will soon start substitute teaching as well.
Regardless of how far I've made it, I still struggle socially. Even family gatherings can make me uncomfortable. It makes me feel very guilty because I know my family looks forward to seeing me. I feel like I let people down and what upsets me more than anything are the comments my sister has made to me.
She says "I feel like you are going to be that one family member who will move away from the family and never keep in touch". The worst part is that I do have hermit tendencies. I don't purposely try to shut people out, but at the same time, its a conscious effort to talk and stay mindful of my family members. I'm always so stuck in my own head that I can only focus on keeping myself organized and relaxed. However, I find myself reaching out and making conversation with friends more often since I can relate to them more. That makes me feel as if I don't have my priorities straight. I really love my family but I feel like its hard for them to see that. My parents have been the best to me too, and I feel so lucky for having them. I feel like I'm inherently a selfish person.. I have recently grown a little closer to one of my sisters though.
Does anyone else feel like you "owe" your family something for having ASD?
11 Jan 2016, 5:15 pm
