Aspies with highly conservative traditional upbringing

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el_punto
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 15 May 2016
Gender: Male
Posts: 40
Location: UK

01 Jun 2016, 5:00 pm

I actually was raised with a lot of autonomy with regards to opinions.

My mum was and still is apathetic to politics, religion etc. and very much left me to come to my own decisions about what I believed in. While I respect the autonomy she gave me, I worry that without a bit of guidance I could have strayed into far-right territory. I did used to believe the newspapers once upon a time. I went to a CofE primary school which perhaps explains partially why she felt comfortable, and I was religious for a time, but not anymore.

My dad is right wing. I can't work out whether's he's a genuine conservative or not, but he does believe in the free market economics, the ecomomic migrant/rapefugee crap and other narratives spread by the media. Maybe he's just passive. He is also not a very good father, very much left me to my own devices too, but at the same time I'm glad he didn't enforce his beliefs onto me. We do have debates sometimes and he argues his points well even though I don't agree with most of them.

With hindsight, I would have liked a bit more guidance and more explicit viewpoints presented by my parents, but at the same time I'm grateful for having the autonomy given and having the intelligence and instinct to find my identity on my own.



BuyerBeware
Veteran
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Joined: 28 Sep 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,476
Location: PA, USA

17 Jun 2016, 7:16 pm

I lucked out. My dad's side of the family (at least the part I spent a lot of time with growing up) were very liberal, free-to-be-you-and-me hippie types. My dad especially was very tolerant and enlightened in a lot of ways.

My mother, what little I remember of her, was militant about being tolerant and enlightened. Because she grew up with ultra-uptight, ultra-conservative parents. By the time I came along, her mother had seen enough of the fruits of that in two badly damaged daughters to swing 180 degrees in the other direction (excessively supportive) and her dad had had enough breakdowns to be on a lot of Xanax and a much more laid-back guy.

Based on second-hand experience, I do think it's very painful to grow up with demanding, rigid parents.

What can you do about it?? Unless at some point life kicks realization of their mistakes into them (it does, sometimes), the best thing to do is move out, build your own life, and find your own "family." If they're not psychotic and abusive, see them sometimes, just because they are your parents and you never know. But limit it, keep it superficial, and expect to get your support and acceptance elsewhere.


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"Alas, our dried voices when we whisper together are quiet and meaningless, as wind in dry grass, or rats' feet over broken glass in our dry cellar." --TS Eliot, "The Hollow Men"