Meltdowns

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Usually when I get home from school, I have a meltdown. Smashing stuff and tearing stuff is involved. However, my mom and dad don't like this. My dad dubs my meltdowns as "tantrums" and that I need to stop them immediately. My mom says that I'm too old for them. I try to tell them that their meltdowns because of stress at school, but they won't listen. Can I convince them in anyway?

Wow, that's a tough one: I'd like to help. I get meltdowns occasionally to this day. Not often but they can be hurtful to other people and destructive as well.

Is there something you can do that isn't destructive to anything of value? For example take it out on things that don't matter if they break as they are worthless anyway, or stuff that's too tough to break. You need an outlet for your frustration which isn't harmful to stuff of value, which is why some people have one of those boxing bags hanging up, or maybe a soft toy which can be punched without harm.

Some of us outgrow tantrums, or handle them better, but not always. If your folks are aware of your condition / diagnosis they should understand better, but it gets harder for them, as "children" have a better "excuse" so you need to discuss with your doctor or professional specialist if you have one, because he or she could prescribe medication to reduce your stress levels.

You're not too old for them. For a lot of people, meltdowns are part of being autistic, and we can't just control them. I agree with envirozentinel; I also think you should work with your parents and teachers to make a plan that decreases your stress at school, so that you don't have a meltdown as often.

Im really sorry to hear about you're meltdowns.. i know how you feel.

Unfortenutely its hard to get a person to understand and take what your going through seriously.. it took a while for my dad to understand my meltdowns and overloads.

Is it possible to take some time off school? you sound very overwhelmed.

I had the same issues as you, everytime i went to school i would have SEVERE panic attacks and overloads, they got to the point where i had multiple suicidal episodes, i had to drop out... the first time in 2013 i pulled a knife on a bully and i didnt get into trouble due to my mental state but my dad and doctors recommended i take time off school. im taking time off school again for suicidal attempts, 3 of them...

First things first, your minds overloaded, you need to calm down, go into your solitary happy place and do what you love the most. after that you need to develop some coping skills which is hard but its something you need to do on your own. I havent even found my coping mechanisms.

Coping mechanisms can mean bringing a toy to school to help calming you down, Deep Presure Therapy, Prescribed drugs. any way that can make life more barable

My psychologist told me about another patient he had with aspergers, she recently got a job and she knew she would probably have a meltdown within a few weeks so she told her boss that she may need time off in the near future to adjust to her new schedual.

The first step to coping is predicting meltdowns, you can't stop them but you can influence your enviroment and schedual accordingly.

I use one of these

Excellent idea!

I just wasn't sure what they're called... punching bags?

yes, either heavybag (in the UK) or punching bag (US)are the correct terms.

That sounds like a really difficult situation. Is it like you've had to control yourself really hard all day at school and not let go even when things are stressful so when you get home it just all comes out? I know that's how I often feel about work. Have you tried finding some activity which helps you destress? My guess is that the meltdown is a way of getting rid of the horrible stress which has built up in you through the day, so if you could find a way to do the same thing for yourself without the smashing and tearing stuff up it might really help? For me either walking in the fresh air really helps, or, if my health isn't up to walking, then I go into my bedroom, plug in headphones and watch stuff I like on YouTube for a while until I've calmed down. Another option might be running if you're a high energy person.

Just some ideas, I hope things get better for you.

I have meltdowns, though they're the ones that involve anxiety and crying. I rarely have the violent ones. Having said that, I agree that the punching bag would help out the rest of you who've posted in this thread.

I tend to punch pillows and things when I get frustrated.

Hogans Heroes calms me down.

Google image "autistic meltdown vs tantrum" and you will see charts that show the differences, so simple even a parent can understand it.

I get them sometimes too. Dunno what makes it happen, but I think just too much stuff in my mind, pushing things down in my mind and such, not saying how I feel and so on. So, sometimes I just get so upset about a very small thing and just explode, start shouting or talking very passionately and get tears in my eyes etc...then I feel super tired and worn out, so I have to take a nap, and after that I feel usually better, but prefer not to talk about the meltdown. This has happened throughout my life various times. I dunno when they are coming, I just know they appear from time to time.