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ThisAdamGuy
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Joined: 22 May 2015
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 692
Location: Northwest Arkansas

17 Jan 2016, 4:17 pm

I've been talking to some of my Facebook friends about dating recently, and one thing they keep telling me is that sharing your hobbies and interests is less important than I think. I'll love their personality, not their pastimes, they say. Frankly, that makes about as much sense to me as saying I should date my living room couch. Maybe it's because I'm an aspie, maybe not, but my hobbies and passions are ingrained so deeply into me that I feel like they're actually part of my personality. If we don't have those in common, what do we build a relationship on? How do we spend time together? What do we talk about? I know that nobody will have exactly the same interests as me, and I don't expect them to. Every relationship requires compromise. But... I love writing, reading, playing video games, Netflix, and occasionally going on a hike or two. I hate sports, crowds, parties, loud noises, and obnoxious people. If my idea of a fun night is playing Smash Bros and discuss a book that just came out, but her's is to get drunk and dance till the sun comes up, neither of us are going to happy doing what the other wants. How can we have a healthy relationship when making the other person happy is always a sacrifice? No matter who I talk to, it seems like I'm the only person who thinks this way. Maybe it's because online dating is the only way I can meet people, and I'm judging them based on what they write on their profiles. What about you guys? What do you think?


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Autistic author of fantasy novels. Read them for free HERE!


Anneliese
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 5 Oct 2015
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 46
Location: UK

17 Jan 2016, 6:06 pm

I think you have to have some things in common to enjoy your time together. But it can also be nice to have some hobbies that you don’t share which you can enjoy in your own time.



ThisAdamGuy
Veteran
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Joined: 22 May 2015
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 692
Location: Northwest Arkansas

17 Jan 2016, 6:34 pm

Exactly. I don't expect her to be a female clone of me. I might hate sports, but it's fine with me if she wants to follow her favorite football team... so long as she's okay with the fact that I don't share her enthusiasm for it, at least.


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Autistic author of fantasy novels. Read them for free HERE!