[Poll] Background & Credit Checks in Relationships.

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Well I didn't have parents to get me a card and teach how to use it. I got a bunch at 18 because I thought having cards was fun. Then first company screwed me they neglected to send me my statement then when I didn't pay chart huge fees that took it from 1000 to 3000. Then same thing happen with other card so I assumed they'd do the same and so spent bunch as I'd rather owe bunch of money and have stuff then just owe a bunch. But they didn't. I'm way more responseable now.

I never said I'd conceal it. I'm well aware I'll never get married and as soon as they find out it'll be over, so probably 1-3 dates top before they ask and break up. Money is al so important to most women it's all that matters, yet many women have huge debt and expect guys to just pay it off if marry. Hypocrites.

I'm going end up doing bankruptcy as I can't pay off the 15,000 and climbing with min wage and ssi. Started at 5,000 but hey if the guy can't pay 5,000 lets triple it and then Surely he'll be able to pay
They tried to get me to fraud the government so I could partly pay them.

Why should I have to pay for someone else's mistakes, maybe it won't me finically maybe it's emotionally or physically, there's all kinds of lasting non debt mistakes people have.

Relationships use to be about love and dealing with someone's past mistakes because you love them and they love you. Now relationships are the same as employment, so cold and rational.

Actually compared to everyone I know who didn't get bad credit I am very good with money now. They get their pay checks and it all immediately goes to stupid stuff like liquor, candy, new toys. Then they don't have money for food and supplies rest of month. I save and don't wast my money.
But yeah I should probably just die, it's s real shame I wasn't allowed to serv so I could have died over seas

I met all 3 of my girlfriends on forums so I kind of got a feel for their personality & all & didn't feel the need to do a background or credit check. However my 2nd girlfriend's dad insisted on doing a background check on me before he let me & her meetup. She was 19 & her parents were paying for her college & apartment so they had a lot of say over her.

Running up debts you can't pay speaks to character -- and what's to say you'd behave any less dishonorably in a relationship?

You could have tried to pay your debt. Negotiated with the credit card company. Not ignored huge debt and allowed it to grow.

What if the girl you met wanted to settle down? Try renting an apartment or getting utilities with trashed credit.

Try doing anything on your own with trashed credit, even if the trashed credit is your spouse's! No car, no apartment, no house, no trips, no big-money items ...

If banks, businesses, and potential employers refuse your business because of bad credit, then why shouldn't a potential spouse refuse to marry you for the same reason?

Unless they'd take 10 a month which they won't. I'm live off of 700 dollars a month. I don't have much if any extra money.

The companies getting the debt wiped clean by taxe payers money but still demanding I pay for money they wiped clean is dishonest.

Wow guess I'm imagining my car and house I live in. Or maybe the west coast isn't so bitchy and doesn't run credit checks on people as long as they have a job and pay the down payment.

Most people in the glory USA have debt. So how are people in relationships how isn't everyone homeless and alone.

Most people seem to manage their debts better than others. Some have poor credit and still manage to make payments. Others have completely trashed their credit ratings and can't get loans for anything.

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Yes!! ! This!! !

Debt doesn't necessarily result in a trashed credit rating -- people who have mortgages and student loans and even credit card debt that make regular payments tend to have excellent credit.

Trashed credit = irresponsible. Hard to build a future with a person who can't go-sign a lease with you!

You guys sure have fun bashing and putting people down . Only hope someone better then you will bash and put you down

Not being a billionaire=irresponsible and lack of effort.

I usually consult the ever expanding entity that is the grapevine, which thrives on the believe that everyone is connected to someone, and so everyone knows everything about everyone.

I consider it both rational and sensible to run background checks on all my potential mainstay relationships, and I've been doing it for so long now that I haven't really questioned it.

Though I've never ran a credit check on someone before, though only because I've never opened a joint account before.


Not really, about the closest I get to it is checking their social media pages from time to time. I'm aware of some of the Forums that their a part of, and even what some their handles are, but I don't read any of their posts. I usually ask permission to read their online blogs, and often won't if their not comfortable with it.

You are taking this way too personally.

What we're saying is that financial irresponsibility is something to be avoided, whether in one's self or in others. It is the behavior of being financially irresponsible that is unattractive, no matter how attractive you may otherwise be.

And while managing one's debt and paying it down does not necessarily "trash" one's credit rating, uncontrolled debt will. A "trashed" credit rating is a de facto indication of one's inability to manage debt; and by default, is a sign of generally irresponsible behavior.

Of course, if you've incurred a massive medical bill at the same time that you have student debt and experienced a layoff, then the only choice may be to declare bankruptcy. Surprisingly, once you've come through the bankruptcy procedure, banks and other lending institutions will virtually fall over themselves to extend you credit. This should be seen as a "second chance" to get your life back together; and after about ten years of frugal living and effective financial management, your credit rating might be good enough to afford a house of your own.

So don't take what we say as an insult, since it is a behavioral issue, not a personal one. Take it instead under advisement; because there are people who perform background checks on potential partners, with or without the knowledge or permission of the person whose background they are checking. And there are people who will avoid relationships with those who have bad credit ratings, just as they will avoid relationships with those who have criminal records, poor health, or spotty employment histories.

Again, what passes for modern "romance" is more like the employment process - a series of interviews, coincident with background checks, ending with an offer or a rejection notice. It's sad, but true; and the only actions to take are either accept it and adapt, or reject it and get used to living a solitary life.

Last edited by Fnord on 01 Feb 2016, 8:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

This is true. However, not all people will see bad credit this way.Unfortunately, not all of those who seek life partners or employees agree with that opinion, and they are the ones who get to decide what they will do to in an effort to protect themselves.

While you may think that it is unfair, everyone has the right to protect themselves from irresponsible behavior, even when it is good people that are behaving irresponsibly.

It is a sad fact; but it is also true.