what things do you find RUDE from NT?

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Deinonychus
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02 Feb 2016, 9:19 pm

got some examples or any NT be rude to you?


if so what were they?




for me they get mad at things they know im right about and im not even being rude about it.




they sometimes think im being a smart but and think i get smart with them.


HOW ABOUT YOU STOP READING IN BETWEEN THE LINES FOR ONCE.


anyways has anything rude happen to you at work, home, school, etc.


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Yigeren
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02 Feb 2016, 11:06 pm

Anyone can be rude.

What I find really rude is when people do inconsiderate things like double-park, or stick their cart in the middle of the aisle when shopping and ignore everyone who's trying to get by, or block traffic for ten minutes by stopping their car in the middle of the street so they can gab to someone who's either walking by or in another car going the opposite way.

Or blast loud music

Have loud parties that last all night

Park in front of other people's driveways

Let their bratty kids run all around a store, trash the place, and bother other customers

Walk as slowly as possible diagonally across a busy street, knowing that everyone will have to stop

Leave trash in shopping carts

Throw trash out of the car window and into my front yard

Talk loudly in restaurants

Pee all over the toilet seat and leave it there

Talk loudly to each other across the stalls while relieving themselves in a public restroom

Scream profanities at their young children in public streets

...and so on



GodzillaWoman
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03 Feb 2016, 12:13 am

I have trouble understanding what people are saying sometimes, especially if they talk fast, have an accent, or are giving me directions with a lot of steps. They get really mad if I ask them to repeat themselves or slow down, or start talking to me as though I'm stupid. What's up with that?? Do they think I'm trying to be annoying?


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AJisHere
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03 Feb 2016, 12:24 am

I'm with Yiegeren on this one! The things I find rude aren't really NT things... they're a-hole things.


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EzraS
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03 Feb 2016, 1:17 am

AJisHere wrote:
I'm with Yiegeren on this one! The things I find rude aren't really NT things... they're a-hole things.


Yep. Having always been is schools for kids with autism, I can say people with autism can be plenty rude. Have been criticized, called names and picked on. Not to a large extent, but it does happen as is part of life. Of course people without autism who aren't used to the behavior can be a lot less understanding needless to say.



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03 Feb 2016, 1:59 am

I don't know if I'd necessarily classify it as rude, but one thing NTs do that annoys me is their perpetual lying. Even about small things, like whether they like some innocuous thing or not, or their real opinions on topics like TV shows or music, things that don't even matter. I don't understand why it's so hard for them to be honest, and it bothers me to no end.


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IceLilja
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03 Feb 2016, 2:10 am

One thing in particular is when they provoke you, tease, make snarky comment and nag at you all the time - then they suddenly get surprised because you finally retaliate.

Favoritism of others.

Conveniently "forgetting" things they told you

Giving advice that are useless ("you just need to go to bed earlier")

Smashing the carts in a supermarket against each other and pulling them out in a sloppy manner. Very bad for my ears as I'm sound sensitive. I've never met a person who can do it right.

Teachers or family members with hearing loss so I need to repeat at least 50% of what I say (not rude but annoying)

If searching for something: "Did you check that place I told you?" - "yes, I did" -- * NT goes to check it anyway*

NT person says it's rude if I'm late, but if they're ever late they don't care

People who drive recklessly in the car when I'm a passenger

Anyone who makes it sound like World War 3 in the kitchen! :evil:



EzraS
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03 Feb 2016, 2:37 am

A lot of people with autism apply certain disagreeable behavior to NT's only, because those are the majority of people they have ever been around.



dcj123
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03 Feb 2016, 2:47 am

EzraS wrote:
A lot of people with autism apply certain disagreeable behavior to NT's only, because those are the majority of people they have ever been around.


True,

I don't think NT are any more rude than autistic people as a whole but since we see more of their behaviors it seems that they are. I think NTs can be rude about not understanding autism though which creates another dynamic of rudeness I suppose.



Yigeren
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03 Feb 2016, 2:59 am

StarTrekker wrote:
I don't know if I'd necessarily classify it as rude, but one thing NTs do that annoys me is their perpetual lying. Even about small things, like whether they like some innocuous thing or not, or their real opinions on topics like TV shows or music, things that don't even matter. I don't understand why it's so hard for them to be honest, and it bothers me to no end.


Yes, the lying drives me crazy. I really don't understand it. I only lie if I think it's absolutely necessary or if it's the right thing to do.

Not lying at all can be rude, as well. I will tell a white lie in certain cases to avoid hurting feelings. If it's something that I think will help the person to know, I will tell the truth. But sometimes the truth isn't going to do any good, and only make things worse for the person. I'm not a very good liar, though.



BirdInFlight
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03 Feb 2016, 8:39 am

Barging into your physical space. Yesterday I finally made an effort to do my food shopping. I was feeling very vulnerable and not wanting to be there in the first place.

I stopped at this large box filled with these giant teddy bears, part of the Valentine's Day merchandise they've gotten in. Suddenly someone has rushed right up behind me, like RIGHT behind me almost against me, saying just the word "Sorry." I felt myself kind of "pushed but without touching" -- I don't know how else to describe it, it's just that feeling that someone is basically half an inch from touching your back and all you know is you're wincing away to get some space.

I turned around and this store clerk was RIGHT UP MY BACK, leaning down to check the price that was on the front of the box. I had been standing in front of the price, and presumably he was having to go find out the price for someone.

But I felt kind of "whooshed" out of the way! I seriously jumped out of my spot in shock, and then did that flight-or-fight thing of just hurrying away like a frightened animal.

I felt that he was was extremely rude in just suddenly appearing right behind me and all he said was "sorry" -- for a second I didn't even have a clue what the "sorry" was about.

I wish he had walked up, tried to look in my face -- yes even though eye contact isn't a picnic either - but at least tried to introduce his presence to my front instead of behind me! And then said, "Very sorry, could I just look at this price, sorry to move you, haha!" And let me know what was happening, then I would have stepped aside with a smile and very little shock or surprise.

Instead it was this sudden person up behind me with no explanation and a "sorry" I didn't even understand the context of until I turned around to find him in my space as if I don't matter, and like I don't need respect or politeness, he can just push into my space as if I don't matter -- I feel like I'm not given just an ordinary level of polite respect as a person occupying space. Kind of the way adults treat kids with less deference, but each other with more.

His way of doing what he did also shows no awareness that there might actually BE people with something like autism out there in his store. It showed no sensitivity to the idea that you never know who or what another person is, so try to be mindful that this isn't an okay way to be to people.

Even NTs wouldn't like this surprise in their space, so how much more startling it is for someone on the autism spectrum who already doesn't like surprises like this.

I feel the staff need training not only in better basic manners and pleasantries for the benefit of just anyone, but the fact that these will also go a long way in being sensitive about possibly autistic customers in the store. I can't be the only spectrumite in that store at any given time, and we struggle even with being there, without also having staff just barge up behind us near as millimeters.

Sorry that's a long ramble, but i just found it SO rude. There's no respect just for a few inches of deference to a person's physical space where I live.


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AJisHere
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03 Feb 2016, 11:03 am

@BirdInFlight: As someone who has that job... it may feel super rude, but there can be situations where you have a ton of pressure on you to work quickly. I've done the sort of thing you're describing, myself.

I've got a half-dozen customers in line, all the checkstands are open, all the checkers are stressed out, all the customers are getting impatient... and something doesn't ring up. Well, we can't just stand around and guess. Not with all these people we've got to get out the door. Getting paid by the hour doesn't mean we can slack off.

"AJ, can you go get me a price on this?"

So I'm off, past a crowd of customers and looking for that exact item among dozens of similar ones... if someone's in the way they get an "excuse me" (which you should have gotten, I agree), but I'm not necessarily waiting long for an acknowledgement... some people become totally oblivious in grocery stores. I've got to get that price, rush back up to the front and resume the rest of my duties ASAP. If I wait too long, I've got annoyed supervisors and annoyed customers, and I've allowed time for the line to get bigger so now it's immediately harder for me, too.

Just a bit of perspective there. I think that clerk could have been nicer, but there's a reason for that behavior.


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slenkar
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03 Feb 2016, 11:37 am

When I say or do something to offend an NT they turn hostile and turn into an enemy.
Instead of saying " I don't like it when you do this" they just go on the warpath.

Then I have to ask them why they are being hostile, if you are lucky enough to get a true response it is usually something ridiculously minor or a complete misunderstanding that could have been cleared up in 5 seconds instead of 6 months.



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03 Feb 2016, 12:21 pm

The way strangers stare at you for no reason, I find it quite rude as well as creepy


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slenkar
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03 Feb 2016, 12:50 pm

Yes if you are a nerdy male in the uk you get stared at by teenagers and young men who want to start a fight