I Have My First Date EVER Tomorrow!

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The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Feb 2016, 8:58 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I wouldn't go out with somebody who wants to exterminate a whole race of people. That's ridiculous!

I wouldn't go out with a woman who espouses Nazism, Stalinism, things like that.


I wouldn't either, but you know...some things show up later; it's not like she would put on her profile "Kill the jews!".

Now I try to know these things before going out with anyone, it's easier now with the FB where often people post their crap ideas.


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If she's just a garden-variety Communist--a Trotskyite, say, I would go out with her--but we'd probably break up pretty soon.


As an atheist following up with secular groups, I have seen a lot of those!! They often end up wanting me to smoke hash with them - I don't even smoke cigarette :-/.



smudge
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19 Feb 2016, 9:10 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Once upon a time, I have chatted once with a girl in a semi-dating thing who asked me what other ethnicity I have dated before, and I have mentioned some Asian ethnicity and one time African ethnicity and she was like "Ewww" - so I called her she's a racist prick and cut everything with her.

Seriously kraftie and ProbablyOverthinkingThisUsername, if the girl you're dating turns out to be pro-Holocaust, or says a racist or a pro-murderous remark about some group of people, would you stay cool about it just for the sake of her vagina? :lol:


You were being too picky. Some people grow out of racism, others can be convinced. If she turned out to treat you perfectly and turned out to be a perfect girlfriend otherwise, you missed your chance. How many other girls have you ditched for things like this?



kraftiekortie
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19 Feb 2016, 9:15 am

Yes, there are some people who grow out of racism.

If one is racist as an adult, though, it's hard to really change them.

My mother is still a racist, despite much evidence (in her face) that her views really are bullcrap.



The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Feb 2016, 9:51 am

smudge wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Once upon a time, I have chatted once with a girl in a semi-dating thing who asked me what other ethnicity I have dated before, and I have mentioned some Asian ethnicity and one time African ethnicity and she was like "Ewww" - so I called her she's a racist prick and cut everything with her.

Seriously kraftie and ProbablyOverthinkingThisUsername, if the girl you're dating turns out to be pro-Holocaust, or says a racist or a pro-murderous remark about some group of people, would you stay cool about it just for the sake of her vagina? :lol:


You were being too picky. Some people grow out of racism, others can be convinced. If she turned out to treat you perfectly and turned out to be a perfect girlfriend otherwise, you missed your chance. How many other girls have you ditched for things like this?


I highly doubt she'll ever change, and I am not obliged to put up with this hoping that one day she'll change :|



BenderRodriguez
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19 Feb 2016, 10:24 am

smudge wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Once upon a time, I have chatted once with a girl in a semi-dating thing who asked me what other ethnicity I have dated before, and I have mentioned some Asian ethnicity and one time African ethnicity and she was like "Ewww" - so I called her she's a racist prick and cut everything with her.

Seriously kraftie and ProbablyOverthinkingThisUsername, if the girl you're dating turns out to be pro-Holocaust, or says a racist or a pro-murderous remark about some group of people, would you stay cool about it just for the sake of her vagina? :lol:


You were being too picky. Some people grow out of racism, others can be convinced. If she turned out to treat you perfectly and turned out to be a perfect girlfriend otherwise, you missed your chance. How many other girls have you ditched for things like this?


Are you taking the piss? 8O


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BenderRodriguez
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19 Feb 2016, 10:34 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

I highly doubt she'll ever change, and I am not obliged to put up with this hoping that one day she'll change :|


The secret of my happy marriage and a couple of very meaningful and long friendships was being incredibly "picky" and inflexible about the quality of the people around me. You probably won't believe me, but it's much better to be by yourself than having to put up with the misery and crap that being "less picky" will bring into your life. Others can make you miserable in ways you'd never be able to even dream all by yourself :D


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BenderRodriguez
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19 Feb 2016, 10:48 am

Sorry The Grand Inquisitor (are you a Dostoevsky fan?) for derailing, I don't have any advice and I think the "one size fits all" to be the most disastrous type, but I wish you luck!


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kraftiekortie
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19 Feb 2016, 10:52 am

I'm a pretty decent Dostoyevsky fan, actually.



GiantHockeyFan
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19 Feb 2016, 12:57 pm

BenderRodriguez wrote:
The secret of my happy marriage and a couple of very meaningful and long friendships was being incredibly "picky" and inflexible about the quality of the people around me. You probably won't believe me, but it's much better to be by yourself than having to put up with the misery and crap that being "less picky" will bring into your life. Others can make you miserable in ways you'd never be able to even dream all by yourself :D


I wasn't going to respond out of respect for the OP but this is very important advice. While I regret nothing, I do wish I would have ignored everyone who kept telling me my bar was impossibly high. It was not and once I 'settled' I ended up with a girl who could have easily ruined my life. I am STILL suffering the effects of it 2 years later and would have never imagine such a sweet girl could have been so toxic. It's still strange not having to sneak around, lie, hide and prepare to be yelled at.

OP, don't settle for someone unless they prove they are worth it. Few are but the ones who are make it worth the frustration. Who knows: you may get lucky like my Fiancée: I was her first and only online date. If she has potential or you think you can 'fix' a date in the future, walk away. Screw anybody who gives you a hard time: it's YOUR life, not theirs!



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19 Feb 2016, 2:07 pm

I personally would NEVER date a racist. Not in a million years. I'm mixed race myself so for me that would be just as much of a red flag as a man with a history of perpetrating domestic violence would be for most women.



BenderRodriguez
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19 Feb 2016, 2:22 pm

^
I'm quite certain smudge was taking the piss to get back at Boo.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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19 Feb 2016, 2:57 pm

BenderRodriguez wrote:
^
I'm quite certain smudge was taking the piss to get back at Boo.


That would be even more pathetic if it's true. :lol:



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19 Feb 2016, 3:03 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
smudge wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Once upon a time, I have chatted once with a girl in a semi-dating thing who asked me what other ethnicity I have dated before, and I have mentioned some Asian ethnicity and one time African ethnicity and she was like "Ewww" - so I called her she's a racist prick and cut everything with her.

Seriously kraftie and ProbablyOverthinkingThisUsername, if the girl you're dating turns out to be pro-Holocaust, or says a racist or a pro-murderous remark about some group of people, would you stay cool about it just for the sake of her vagina? :lol:


You were being too picky. Some people grow out of racism, others can be convinced. If she turned out to treat you perfectly and turned out to be a perfect girlfriend otherwise, you missed your chance. How many other girls have you ditched for things like this?


I highly doubt she'll ever change, and I am not obliged to put up with this hoping that one day she'll change :|


I agree with that....I wouldn't want a relationship with a racist, regardless of how they treated me.

Also I hear the 'oh maybe they will change' is a terrible mindset, and I don't think it takes to much imagination to see why. It's part of why my parents didn't get a divorce sooner, as far as I remember they both thought that. She thought he'd become some kind of model citizen, he thought she would quit being so uptight...she decided she didn't like ever drinking or smoking cannabis and figured he'd decide that to and he didn't but he didn't do it around me or my siblings when we were kids or leave it out or anything. Meh just get with someone you're on the same page as and try and reevaluate if that continues to remain the case, and if not just save years of arguing and increasing bitterness and split up sooner rather than later.



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19 Feb 2016, 6:07 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
So I have arranged to go on a date for the first time in my life. I was wondering if anyone had any advice, seeing as I'm embarking on unfamiliar territory.



Break-A-Leg! :mrgreen:



Kitty4670
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19 Feb 2016, 10:15 pm

When people do research on you before a date, I know it maybe smart, but the internet don't know everything about you & the internet can lie.

I wonder if the guy I have a crush on, did research on me. Maybe he did it, I don't know, but how, he don't know my last name. If he did it, I don't know if it creepy or I should be happy.


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smudge
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20 Feb 2016, 9:56 am

BenderRodriguez wrote:
smudge wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Once upon a time, I have chatted once with a girl in a semi-dating thing who asked me what other ethnicity I have dated before, and I have mentioned some Asian ethnicity and one time African ethnicity and she was like "Ewww" - so I called her she's a racist prick and cut everything with her.

Seriously kraftie and ProbablyOverthinkingThisUsername, if the girl you're dating turns out to be pro-Holocaust, or says a racist or a pro-murderous remark about some group of people, would you stay cool about it just for the sake of her vagina? :lol:


You were being too picky. Some people grow out of racism, others can be convinced. If she turned out to treat you perfectly and turned out to be a perfect girlfriend otherwise, you missed your chance. How many other girls have you ditched for things like this?


Are you taking the piss? 8O


No. I have known plenty of people with morals who have been complete arseholes. There is always a certain type of person that an individual doesn't like. Everyone has their enemy. Race, intelligence, obesity...to a point it doesn't matter, because sometimes the person will be nasty to you for no reason. If that racist bastard treats you well and a person who is polite to everybody else shuns you and treats you like sh!t, for whatever reason they make up, it doesn't matter. Who is the better, nicer person to hang out with?

Heck, FOB, you would go eww to an obese person. Not aloud, but not the point.

..What's the difference?