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Sweetleaf
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10 Mar 2016, 9:45 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Yeah, I mean imagine guys saying something like "She has to be D-cup and 50 kg max" , he would be bashed and shamed by everyone, and saying stuff like 'No fat girls...etc" would be totally socially unacceptable and they would get bashed for it too:P. Women would call them insensitive and jerks.

Honestly, I haven't seen any males stating such stuff in their dating profiles.

Society doesn't seem to penalize women for being explicitly shallow, you see a lot saying stuff like ie. 'minimum 6'0, six-packs is a must, no short guys please, no Indian guys please ...etc' without any remorse or consideration. In fact, she would be praised by a lot of other women for being "knowing what she wants".

It's a very real double standard, really. Go browse profiles of both genders and you will notice this.


Yes and I think women with those kinds of specific, stickler expectations of appearance are very shallow...and cannot relate to their mindset one bit. Not to mention, one of my biggest qualms with society has always been it seems to reward shallow/superficial kind of behavior....and fakeness.

Also I have seen online and heard IRL guys talking just like your example, its not all guys usually the types I assume where the jocks/populars back in HS. But have not observed too much bashing and shaming, usually its laughs, other similar guys agreeing or nods of approval at such statements. Just like much of the time shallow women get praise from other shallow women when they say shallow things.


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auntblabby
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12 Mar 2016, 4:56 am

in the grand scheme of things, I can barely think of too many things more trivial than the issue of height differences. the only height that is really important is the tallness of one's spirit.



arabian1
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12 Mar 2016, 12:54 pm

Iv never had a girlfriend or been on a date ,so i really have no idea what woman go for. I know a couple from work which the girl is my height but her boyfriend is only 5'0. Im 5'8. Sometimes my shortness bothers me . Other times i could care less . Its not like i can do anything about it. I remember the saying "good things come in small packages" :D



cathylynn
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12 Mar 2016, 1:00 pm

i'm 5'5". i've dated guys shorter than me.



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21 Feb 2017, 11:41 am

Outrider wrote:
I know, it's discrimination, Boo.

But as said I've seen some women who even find stuff like 5'10'' too short.

I'm sure you already know the statistics say the taller a woman is, the taller she reports she wants a male to be, even if it only gets more and more unrealistic the taller she gets.

And it goes the opposite, as well. The statistics have also said the shorter a woman is, the taller the male has to be.


All I'm saying is: There's basically no winning. It's lose-lose for most males under 6'0''.

At least, in my humble opinion.




Your humble opinion is correct from my 25-years or so of watching women pair up with men of certain immutable physical characteristics... and which men go to waste, or miss out through being mistreated due to said immutable traits.

From what I've witnessed over the 3 decades, women will be easier on short men (insert IF.. and a big IF) he's facially attractive like Ian Somerhalder etc and is 'liked' by other girls. If a short guy is not liked by other girls, has low or to zero social proof due to being held to low esteem by other men, he's basically toast.

What is short? I've seen 5'8, 5'9 and even the odd 5'10 guys get called short, but its average. This is one aspect I don't understand - it is as though many women fail to see an average height. Its all black and white to them: over 6ft + "real man, really strong, dateable" Under 6ft: "like a boy, can't defend me, loser-ish". Usually women grow out of this toxic way of looking at men based on height after age 25, but not always.


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kraftiekortie
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21 Feb 2017, 7:28 pm

I'm almost 5 foot 5. I guess I'm short LOL

But it doesn't bother most people.



QuantumChemist
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21 Feb 2017, 11:12 pm

When I was a Senior in high school, I was next to the shortest male member of my class at 5'8" and got taunted because of it. During my college years, I grew in height very slowly. I am now in the 6'1"-6'2" range (and still slowly growing). Most of the males in my family were in the 5'10" to 6' range before old age started robbing them of their height. That part has not happened to me yet. It can be odd how genes work.

However, I have a older cousin that is 6'9"+ and works as a state LEO. He has had people mess themselves when he got out of his car after pulling them over for a traffic stop.



auntblabby
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22 Feb 2017, 6:10 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I'm almost 5 foot 5. I guess I'm short LOL

But it doesn't bother most people.

you are plenty tall where it matters most. :wtg:



ShadowProphet
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22 Feb 2017, 11:56 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
In fact, I had been many instance in social occasions, where female acquaintances explicitly expressed contempt toward specific guys for having specific physical characteristics very similar or even the same to mine.
ie. He's too skinny to me, I hate skinny guys - in the presence of a skinny guy!. It's like they forget that their male friend/colleague/acquaintance across the table has this same characteristic. It's unbelievably how they don't see it.




Yeah I remember sitting by two girls at lunch. A short guy who's about 5 ft 3 walks by. One of the girls says, he's way too short, no wonder he cant get a girlfriend. And me being the same height, I am in complete shock. I'm like what the fu lady?!

Nobody wants to date yo fat asss either. And no I did not say that out loud, but she definitely would have deserved it.



The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Feb 2017, 12:25 pm

I met a girl last sunday and turned out to be taller than me with heels; she told me she's 5'3 so I am same height - and it is mentioned in my profile details (they *never* read that; and they say guys don't read profiles lol).

I swear that she mentioned my height 4 times.
First time when she first saw me "I expected you taller".
then while walking "I expected you larger".
She metioned something about height too while she was showing me photos.
And while we were taking the straight down to exit the cafe she stood besides and told me "see? I am taller with heels". She's 36 for fcku sake and not some young adult.

These things happened to me quite several times and it makes me thinking: I am starting to believe tbat many women have no courtesy toward men? Being rude toward anything they perceive as fault seems to be the norm?
I never mention a physical "fault" like during a date, let alone to repeat it over and over...so what's going on? Why can't they just be nice and just say no they're not attracted to me.



Jacoby
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22 Feb 2017, 3:29 pm

It's okay to body shame men, nobody cares about unrealistic body images for men. There have always been shallow women but I think gay male culture which is overly body obsessed has infected the culture at large in terms of what attractive man is. Height is a pretty cruel thing to judge someone on since it really is something you can't change, it's like skin color that way but people who judge people by race we call racist while the short guy is the butt of the joke.

Obviously it's not universally true, there are plenty of short guys doing fine in the dating world I am sure just as I am sure there are fat people that do fine too but it doesn't change the fact that it's still a real acceptable form of discrimination It's hard not roll your eyes whenever you hear anyone whine about bodyshaming considering the double standards. It's all self interest with people, lets be honest, it is with me and it is with the fat girls too. Everybody wants to be attractive.



The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Feb 2017, 4:06 pm

^ it's not only about height; they just tell they find ugly about you without any remorse, guilt or courtesy; could be your face, your body shape, your body hair, your facial hair.... no remore at all; are just like "I hate your <physical trait>" all bluntly.



auntblabby
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22 Feb 2017, 10:50 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ it's not only about height; they just tell they find ugly about you without any remorse, guilt or courtesy; could be your face, your body shape, your body hair, your facial hair.... no remore at all; are just like "I hate your <physical trait>" all bluntly.

think of it this way- those people are doing you the favor of advertising ahead of time, their inner ugliness, so you won't have to date them a while only to find out later. they have saved you a bunch of time.



cathylynn
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22 Feb 2017, 11:25 pm

auntblabby wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ it's not only about height; they just tell they find ugly about you without any remorse, guilt or courtesy; could be your face, your body shape, your body hair, your facial hair.... no remore at all; are just like "I hate your <physical trait>" all bluntly.

think of it this way- those people are doing you the favor of advertising ahead of time, their inner ugliness, so you won't have to date them a while only to find out later. they have saved you a bunch of time.

good point.



auntblabby
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23 Feb 2017, 12:00 am

:mrgreen:



ShadowProphet
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23 Feb 2017, 11:46 pm

It all depends on my mood.

There are certain times where I don't really care that i'm short, it's just who I am and no need to worry about something you can't change. And then there are others times where I really do wish I was taller because I feel like my dating options are greatly diminished.

If a woman rejects me because i'm only 5 ft 3, will I be upset? Yeah. But at the same time, i'm not going to hold it against her because nobody wants to date someone they're not physically attracted to. But I would still get upset about it especially if she were around my height or shorter because I feel like i'm being written off for something I can't change about myself and that would be a blow to my self-esteem. And I will admit that me being 5 ft 3 really limits my dating options because it's sometimes hard to find a girl around my height or shorter who also happens to be physically attracted to me.

I want to be a good boyfriend, I want to take it seriously, maybe someday I will get my chance at love.