"I can't get a girlfriend because I'm a beta male."

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CryptoNerd
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17 Mar 2016, 1:41 pm

I wish romantically unsuccessful guys would stop spreading this lie that you have to be some sort of macho alpha male to get women. Women are attracted to all kinds of guys. Some of them like macho jerks. Some of them like shy, sweet nice guys. Some of them like nerds. They're not stock characters in some medieval mummer's play. If you are unsuccessful with women, it's not because you're a "beta male". It's not because you have some inherent personality quality or curse that you can't do anything about. It's because you're taking the wrong approach to dating. Or maybe you're doing something that's driving women off (this can be a common problem with aspies). It's not because those mean alpha male jerks are monopolizing all the pretty girls. You can change.



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17 Mar 2016, 1:54 pm

I'm going to play Devil's Advocate here.

How does a forum, predominantly occupied by single men who deem themselves and each other to be not as successful or macho or fascinating as their peers who do have partners, spouses etc. support your argument?

The traits that they are thought to be lacking, or the fact that anything is lacking, is often and normally has been associated with a lower tier in a hierarchy.

Humans have long evolved past the "old system" and many men and women look past what traditionally made both sexes "winners", and have refined what attraction is. However, you cannot deny the "old system" still exists and will be ingrained in human culture and nature for some time to come.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Mar 2016, 2:28 pm

I can't get a girlfriend because I am a Gamma male.

That makes me radioactive and highly explosive.



Raleigh
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17 Mar 2016, 2:35 pm

Humans have a problem-solving brain.
If a problem can't be solved in one way i.e if a guy can't get a girlfriend by following all the accepted formulas he believes are required for getting a girlfriend, he's going to solve it in another way i.e. reclassifying the situation so he can justify his failure.


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AuroraBorealisGazer
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17 Mar 2016, 5:06 pm

^ Yep. That concept is what lead to the creation of mythological beings such as the Greek Gods. People were at their wits end with crops dying, diseases spreading, et cetera, so they concluded there were immortal beings who they had offended.

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
I can't get a girlfriend because I am a Gamma male.

That makes me radioactive and highly explosive.


:lmao:



0_equals_true
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17 Mar 2016, 5:20 pm

As I have stated before, using the biologist definition of Alpha/Beta, it doesn't apply to humans.

A good example for Alpha/Beta is the grey wolf.

It doesn't matter how good one male human is he can't control access to the females so the other males can't mate.

For one we live in societies not packs. There is multiple types of power overlapping groups, and there is a power dynamic.

Even the evolutionary theory doesn't relate. Our power of adaption, is quite a bit to do with producing different people with different skills. Those different skills need to be passed on.

That is not to say there isn't some status grade in relationship.



QuillAlba
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17 Mar 2016, 5:23 pm

I can't get a girl because I don't have a car...



Raleigh
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17 Mar 2016, 5:55 pm

^ That's so bad it's good.

:lol:


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dcj123
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17 Mar 2016, 6:01 pm

I have a girl friend called Mary Jane and we get intimate all day and all night, its like a honeymoon thats never ending. I love her affect on me and she loves the way I use her.



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17 Mar 2016, 6:03 pm

Zing



The_Face_of_Boo
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18 Mar 2016, 10:24 am

0_equals_true wrote:
As I have stated before, using the biologist definition of Alpha/Beta, it doesn't apply to humans.

A good example for Alpha/Beta is the grey wolf.

It doesn't matter how good one male human is he can't control access to the females so the other males can't mate.

For one we live in societies not packs. There is multiple types of power overlapping groups, and there is a power dynamic.

Even the evolutionary theory doesn't relate. Our power of adaption, is quite a bit to do with producing different people with different skills. Those different skills need to be passed on.

That is not to say there isn't some status grade in relationship.


Nope, Alpha/Beta were found only in the wolves in captivity - in the wild, alphas are simply the parents of the pack.

It's the actually the apes species, like chimps and gorillas, who are far closer to us than wolves, who have the alpha/beta male hierarchy - remember, we are apes, not canines.

Wolves are actually one of the very few strictly monogamous species in nature, and they are by far more naturally egalitarian than most ape species.



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18 Mar 2016, 11:28 am

Maybe some are also pursuing the wrong kind of women for them to, I mean if you're pursuing someone who is simply not compatible no approach is going to work.


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18 Mar 2016, 11:30 am

TheSpectrum wrote:
I'm going to play Devil's Advocate here.

How does a forum, predominantly occupied by single men who deem themselves and each other to be not as successful or macho or fascinating as their peers who do have partners, spouses etc. support your argument?

The traits that they are thought to be lacking, or the fact that anything is lacking, is often and normally has been associated with a lower tier in a hierarchy.

Humans have long evolved past the "old system" and many men and women look past what traditionally made both sexes "winners", and have refined what attraction is. However, you cannot deny the "old system" still exists and will be ingrained in human culture and nature for some time to come.


Hmm never really got the impression WP is predominately occupied by single men....where did you find those stats?

And a little bit of devils advocate of my own, how do guys on this forum who claim to be less macho and/or fascinating than their peers who do have significant others support your argument? Though I don't see why being macho would be fascinating its kind of a primitive mentality actually.


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CryptoNerd
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18 Mar 2016, 11:38 am

^ Agreed. Being macho doesn't make you more interesting. People have told me they love talking to me because I make really interesting conversation, and I am a textbook beta male.



Last edited by CryptoNerd on 18 Mar 2016, 11:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

Sweetleaf
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18 Mar 2016, 11:38 am

Raleigh wrote:
Humans have a problem-solving brain.
If a problem can't be solved in one way i.e if a guy can't get a girlfriend by following all the accepted formulas he believes are required for getting a girlfriend, he's going to solve it in another way i.e. reclassifying the situation so he can justify his failure.


That is why people need to understand those 'accepted formulas' aren't an exact science or infallible...it's ok to stray a little bit from that. I mean a lot of the 'accepted formulas' are based on pursuing statistically average females that is all, it doesn't reflect women who are outliers or don't quite fit the norm.


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lordfakename
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18 Mar 2016, 12:32 pm

It's astounding that people can talk one moment about neurodiversity and in the next attempt to classify into a small number of groups all men and women. If you wanna get laid, just find a like minded person of your preferred sex. Be confident. Be nice. Be open-minded and non-prejudiced.

But hey, I'm gay, so I can get sex any time I want :-p