Insecure

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I know people don't like someone who's insecure and that it will only cause people to feel sorry for me, but sometimes I don't know how to not feel that way. I just don't feel secure in relationships because people have dropped me so many times before. I try to only look for people that have similar experiences to me and who seem trustworthy, but even when I do they suddenly become distant towards me. People say to forget about the past, but it's hard not to when it seems like the same things keep happening. It sometimes feels like I'm just too boring and that I'll never have a lasting relationship.

Well, I feel insecure for never, ever having been in one. The truth is though that being insecure breeds more insecurity over time. If you're insecure around people then you're unlikely to show them your lively, friendly side. They may perceive you as unfriendly and that will only make you more restricted around them. You need to somehow break the cycle, but it's not easy if you've had bad experiences in the past. I think letting go of past failures is still the only way though. You have to start anew, letting go of the baggage that causes insecurity, then you'll be able to show a different side to yourself which will most likely break the cycle.

I'm sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I've had to deal with it many times before. Finding people that share your interests giving you something to connect with them is one of the best things to do. Know that my heart goes out to you and I hope you start to feel better soon.

^ Thank you

Do you feel like you really want a relationship? I think sometimes society tries to push us into being in a relationship, but I think it is okay not to be in one.

Have you ever tried joining some sort of social group, like a meetup group? Even if you don't make any friends you can still socialize with like minded people with less pressure.

It seems like with most people I'm friends with they seem to enjoy talking for a few months and then they eventually become distant. I try to be careful and keep my distance from people who seem manipulative, so I don't think they are using me and a lot of them have also gone through those same experiences. I feel like there's something about me that causes people to push me away or get bored with me because they don't seem to act this way towards other people. Sometimes it feels like I'm not good enough.

It seems like a lot of the people who would become friends with me would be very depressed and lonely and then they would seem to drop me when they started feeling better like they just want me around so that they don't feel lonely.

Some people find insecurity attractive -- it brings out a natural caretaker instinct. If you're looking for a relationship, remember that you don't have to be attractive to everyone, just to one person.

Depressed people drop out of relationships because they are depressed and that has nothing to do with you. You can keep reaching out to them if you truly care about them though, even if they don't respond back while they're at their worst.

It isn't necessarily true. Everyone's insecure, we just show it differently. From my own experiences, I've learned people don't like when you project your insecurities onto them - people just don't like having to validate people. Personally, if I'm insecure, I just don't show it (intentionally) as best I can, unless I really trust the person or I'm in a comfortable setting.

If you're insecure about being what you call "boring" just try picking up new hobbies. You'll find autistic people gravitate towards the same things their whole life, but personally I only had a few my entire life, and I couldn't hold a conversation on anything except about my "special interest." Watch more shows, read more books, follow politics - there's a lot that can be done if it truly bothers you.