What came first? Social Isolation, or the Computer?

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Talking to a relative about my possible diagnosis, they say it can't possibly be Aspergers because people with Aspergers have problems reading emotion like Sheldon from Big Bang Theory but 100 times worse, and as they say Im not like this, then that cannot be me.

Then they go into how Im socially awkward, shy, not very confident, don't dance, don't approach people etc because I haven't practiced enough. I've sat behind a desk with my computer.

My question is, which comes first.

Does the computer lead to social isolation, or was I using the computer because Im not social.

I don't know.

Just thought it was quite amusing when he was going through all my social issues, obsessions, fixation, focus on specific interests instead of multiple items like most other folk that I just thought, yeah, you're actually doing a good job of proving I have Aspergers!

Both can be true, there is nothing to say that one must cause the other.

As for your relative, just smile, nod thoughtfully and say "I guess we'll just need to wait and see from the psychologist says".

I would consider computers to be my 'special interest'. They've not always been in my life, though - I didn't use a computer until I was mid-childhood - and I was definitely a social wreck before that!

The computer has made things easier, definitely. It allowed me to escape from a world that I've never felt comfortable in. Honestly it's brought me more social opportunities, too, but at a comfortable pace and without pressure.

And the older I get, the easier life becomes. Now I can do all sorts of things online that others couldn't do in the past - banking and managing my bills, for example. And so many other things that I might have had to use the phone for, or speak to people in person for, which would have been so difficult. These are day-to-day things that, if I'd grown up in an earlier generation, I would have really struggled to cope with. I consider myself to be 'high functioning', but if I'd grown up without computers then I expect things would be very, very different. Every day I'd be on high alert all the time from needing to be social - I would be so anxious. I hate to think what that would be like. I might have been a long way from high functioning!

But, thanks to computers and technology, life gets easier for me every day. I can now do my shopping using a hand held scanner, without needing to speak to another person. I can order food at McDonalds using a touch screen so that I don't have to script my order in my head and then try and communicate it to someone. As technology becomes more widely available then I guess for a typical person it could be something that 'cuts them off' from opportunities for communication, but for me it's saving me from extreme stress and anxiety every day. And it's not the computer that's causing it - the computer is helping with it, it already exists.

I'd say isolation came first. I'm glad we have computers and the internet

When it comes to "in general," social isolation has been around since way before humankind existed.

When it comes to people, it depends on the specific person.

Sometimes, the computer leads to social isolation; sometimes, it's the other way around.

I would say Sheldon Cooper is a caricaturized Aspie. He has rather extreme "symptoms."

I would say it's a little of both. My father and his (late) brother used to spend hours at a time on the computer. If we didn't have computers, I would imagine he would have spent that time with us when we were kids but hindsight is 20/20.

Before computers, socially awkward people just read books and stuff. Or wrote books. Or drew art, played/made music etc etc... there're still plenty of solo activities out there that don't require a computer.

So I'd guess that social isolation most definitely came first.

Ok, but if we look at Social Isolation or Activity - whether that be computers, books, whatever....

Do people get involved in socially isolating activity because they're not very good socially, or do they get involved in activities and become socially isolated because of it.

I guess what Im saying, is that with my new found suspected Aspergers diagnosis, would I have got involved in Computers due to being socially isolated, or did my computer use cause the social isolation as my relative suggests.

Seems its "six of one, half a dozen of the other".

Well, I use the computer in order to not be social. A few posts here n there allows me to interact, without interacting.

I'm going thru my anti social phase again. Just not in the mood to chit chat with my friends. It takes more energy than I've got to give just now.
They used to complain but now they're used to it.

If it were not for the computer, and the forums I frequent (my usual haunts, not here) i wouldn't 'speak' socially to anyone. So in my case the computer has enabled, and helped prolong, my tendency and antipathy to socialising.

In my case? The former.
I was just as easily content especially after I had experienced certain fulfillments like popularity in my youth. Which I found out to be stressing and it's not meant for me.
Isolation was more peaceful choice ever since. More so when I start to notice more things before I was diagnosed...

Then after that, computers came into my life. I don't even know internet exists after I was diagnosed for the first time.
Isolation with computers just became a more convenient form of isolation or socialization in my case.

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Hermits have existed long before personal computers. In fact, considering that personal computers only became available in the 1970s, and took until the 1990s to really take off, they're a relatively recent phenomena in human society. Hermits however, have likely existed for most of human history. What did hermits do before the PC? They worked, read, wrote, produced art, and pursued various other hobbies.

TL;DR: Social isolation came first.

You're really focusing on the computers.

Forget the computers. It's not the computers.

My relative suggests that Im socially awkward because Im a hermit and lack experience. I say Im a hermit because Im socially awkward.

My relative says that because I've been a hermit, I lack the experience to do various things like dance, approach people, talk to people, ask questions, participate in group discussions, go and play football, make friends etc. He says I should have been doing that all at school.

My question to him, was why was I not doing that at school? That was probably before computers came along. Perhaps the reason I didn't do this at school, was because I had hermit tendencies!

Why did I go more towards social isolation than social extroversion? He thinks the reason is because of the activities I chose to do. But I think he's mixed cause and effect and it's because Im deep down not good socially, that I chose isolationist activities.

Does that make sense?

This is so interesting
Lol