What I've learned about dating[success story (kinda)/advice]

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To start off, I'll openly say that I have mild AS. I have it easy, I know.

I've been in the dating pool for a few months now, and I was quite familiar with it prior to breaking up with my gf in early January of this year.

*You mean you actually go out and talk to girls without knowing anything about them prior to saying hi??*

Nope, f**k that. I've been a member on OKCupid for a few months now, and while I haven't gotten very many replies out of the dozens that I've sent out, I have had *some.* I would highly recommend this dating site to literally anyone who is having trouble meeting someone special, autistic or not. It is by far the best that I've encountered, from the way it's set up, to how compatibility is calculated.

Anyways, I digress. Back to the main topic. Here's what I've learned:

* The only person that is as worried about saying hello is you. Seriously, just say hi! Don't go off on some tangent about your (possibly) weird hobbies right away, don't tell people you're mentally disabled in a first message. If you do go through online dating, this is what I do: Say hello in some fashion, pick something out of their profile to talk about, maybe two things if it's available, and then make my interests of getting to know them better very clear. KNOW THIS - you WILL fail. I know you've read it time and time again, but you WILL fail, and eventually, you WILL get someone to message you back. Just keep on persisting. What I've noticed is that a lot of girls go off of physical attraction, even if you might have some things in common. I wouldn't say I'm horribly ugly, but if someone refuses to look past your physical attraction and look more into who you are as a person, you don't want to be with them anyways! Shallow as f**k, man, get away from those people! Sadly, that's a large majority.

* Talking about physical attraction - NOBODY likes neckbeards, no matter how it's trimmed. Seriously. If you have one, take it off, right now. This post will be here when you get back. You just have it so that your embarassing mole doesn't show up? f**k you, rock that mole. Horrible scar? Scars are sexy as s**t dude. Normal beards can be okay, neckbeards are not. I speak from experience. I was cursed to the NB life, and tried to have it for a few years, but it really didn't do me any favors.

* Go for people who you think are out of your league! What I've learned over time is that as long as it's not an unreasonable request, like asking to be FWB or some s**t, even if their answer is no, how worse off are you, really? Seriously, don't ask someone in a first message to be FWB. That s**t is crazy. You'll get yelled at, you'll get insulted, made to feel like absolute trash, etc, etc. Yes, I speak from experience, sadly. That's not the kind of reply you want back, so don't even try. Anyways, you think you're a 3 but they're an 8? Go for it, absolutely. *But Tim, what if they say no??* Okay, so what? Again, the truth is - you're not gonna get a reply from everyone. Honestly, I'd say maybe 1/10 people will reply to you. BUT - what if they say yes? Holy s**t, your confidence levels just f*****g went through the goddamn roof.

DON'T f**k IT UP!! If you need to practice talking to people, ask your parents. I know it sounds tacky, but I'm serious. Your parents want nothing more than to see you start a family someday, and would be f*****g ecstatic to help you with conversation, no matter how stupid you think it is.

That's one of the good parts about online dating. You don't have to stand in front of someone and reply like you would in real life. You can take your time and write a message back that is clear and concise, and most of all - you hopefully won't sound like an idiot!

One last bit of advice:

* Don't pretend to be someone who you're not. If you do, and things do progress with whoever you're talking to, and whatever you lie about just so happens to be a big part of your comparability, you're f****d! You're gonna have to keep up that persona for months on end, if not years. Nobody wants that, stop wasting their time and your own.

Take me, for example. One of the things I refuse to negotiate on is religion. I'll openly say that I'm agnostic. If someone mentions faith/God in their profile, I'm out. Not giving it a second look. *But Tim, what if everything else is perfect??* No. Think about it. I will NOT be drug to church service at least once a week for something I don't believe in. That's the kind of s**t that will tear down relationships man. *Dude, it's only an hour a week, just go!* f**k you. Yes, relationships are about compromise, but definitely NOT on hard issues such as religion. Some other things you shouldn't waver on - politics, music (to an extent), things that you feel strongly about.

I think that's it, for now at least. Hope I helped at least one person out today.