Women liking rich vs not rich

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Allie, you may like to check this one:

http://link.springer.com/article/10.100 ... 014-0756-x

Men have no space at all for their own. Hence why I don't feel guilty when I post here.

I very rarely post on women's forum (because most subjects don't concern me), I only do on few occasions when it concerns men and relationships.

I wanted to discuss women's opinion on this stereotype bot to argue about it with people who wish to prove the stereotype

Well, maybe that person just wasn't right for you. Maybe another woman would be more accepting of you openly expressing your opinions on things. I personally like to be challenged intellectually and do enjoy a bit of (healthy) conflict, like debates or playing devil's advocate. However it sounds like you may have some difficulty knowing the threshold between lively debate and being insensitive.

Well, hey, this is a forum for aspies and we generally aren't good in the sensitivity department but we do tend to be analytical and have a good capacity for learning. If you show that you earnestly want to avoid being inappropriate or insensitive to others, then I'm sure you'll meet a woman who is able to accept you for who you are and not assume you are a jerk right off the bat. I can't promise you it will definitely work, but you will at the very least be a le to make more friends that way and that increases your chances of finding a romantic partner, I guess.

It's true. I can't tell. NTs describe it in a way I don't understand. Like when ExGF was frustrated that I wasn't following her advice, she'd say "You're not listening". I said "I listened to every word but that doesn't mean I have to do what you say like it's an order". She said "I don't mean that you didn't hear me, I mean that you're not considering what I'm saying". I said "I considered everything you said and I don't want to do it".

The most recent time was when she was giving me financial advice. She said her uncle keeps $2,000 saved that he can draw on in emergencies. She said I should have that. That's a good idea so I said I'd start saving up $2,000 after I paid off my credit card. She said I should save up $2,000 first and then start paying off my credit card. I told her with her plan I'd pay more compound interest on the card. She said "What's compound interest?"

Then she said if there was an emergency I could use the $2,000. I said if the emergency occurs before I've paid of my credit card and started saving but after I'd paid off $2,000 then I'd be $2,000 below my credit limit so I could use that money (in the amount of time I save $2,000, I might as well put it on the card rather than in a savings account, it's the same amount either way). She said I shouldn't do that because then I'd have to pay interest. I tried to explain that's not as much interest as I'd have to pay if I had a high credit card debt and delayed paying it off.

She didn't get that for a given amount of money that could be put into a savings account, if I put that on my card I would get below my credit limit by the same amount so I would still have the same amount for an emergency. And what if there isn't an emergency? Then all the extra interest would have been for nothing.

So she starts crying because I'm "not listening". She's thinking about this emotionally but I don't think emotional thinking is the right type of thinking to solve this kind of problem. She's said before that she's very bad at maths. So if she's very bad at maths why does she think she's a qualified financial adviser? If she can't do the maths why does she act surprised and start crying when I don't want to follow her advice?

NTs say a lot of confusing things that I don't understand. Like she says she doesn't want me to lie about her but she said when it comes her appearance she wants me to tell white lies. She said she wants me to say when I look at her I don't think she's fat when she is. So later I ask her if she wants me to tell white lies and say she's thin and she says "No, I want you to say I'm thin and believe it". How can I change my beliefs like that? She says "I don't want you to think I'm fat. How does she expect me to alter my thoughts like that

It sounds like you were right tho. How did you explain it? Was it in a calm manner?

She sounds a bit like she wanted to control you and didn't like you not following her instruction.

Rather than think of her as fat or thin I think she wanted to think of you as beautiful. If you think a future girlfriend is fat or thin and she asks true saying I different truth. If you think she is beautiful anyway just say to her 'you don't need to worry you are beautiful'.

That way you avoid traps and she feels good about herself

Yeah, that sounds like you had a reasonable disagreement and she took it personally. I sometimes get accused of being insensitive when I'm simply stating facts. Apparently I come across as being condescending when I point out stuff to people.

Was she insecure about her maths issues? Maybe she felt like you were dismissing her because she thought that you thought she was stupid. Maybe she's projecting her insecurities onto you and inferring malice or condescension from reasonable disagreements. It happens. Even I make pragmatic issues like savings all about my ego, i.e thinking my mother is attempting to infantilise me when she is just giving advice on money (which is something you would expect from a parent).

As for the weight thing, I can see what she is trying to say but it's not fair to ask that of anybody. She shouldn't be telling you to believe she is skinny when she is clearly overweight. She should, however, expect unconditional love despite her weight. That being said, there is a big difference between not loving somebody because of their weight and showing concern because they've gained or lost loads of weight. I mean, you might be worried because the weight change was very quick and could be a sign of a serious illness, not just a lifestyle issue.

It just sounds like she has some bizarre standards in a relationship. It also sounds like it's not just you. It might be worth your time to keep fishing and find women that perhaps fit a personality profile closer to your own. I can't guarantee it'll work, but it's worth a shot. You might at the very least understand each other better.

Yes it was. It was clear
she didn't understand the arithmatic involved and some of the terms
like "compound interest", that may have frustrated her.

I've experienced similar frustration when I'm talking to someone I
percieve as smarter than me so I can understand where she's coming
from. But it's irrational for me when my low self-esteem causes me to
dismiss someone's arguments because I'm too embarressed to admit I'm
not as smart as them so it must also be irrational for her to do the
same thing. I think that a lot of our problems together result from
both of us having low self-esteem.

To late I realized that my attempts to make her lose weight were due
to me own low self-esteem. I was self-concious about what type of
woman I was seen with. I had unrealistic expectations. Because I worry
that people think I'm a loser I thought I could make them I was was
cool if they saw me with a girl who looks looks like a supermodel.
This is not a realistic expectation.

I tried to tell her. She said for this and other reasons she won't be
able to get back with me for quite a while
yet.I already think she's
beautiful and I told her often.The thing that confused me is
that earlier, she said that she wanted to lose weight. She told
me that her self-esteem would be improved if she lost weight.

So if she wants to lose weight she's motivated. If someone else wants
her to lose weight she's not motived.

She said in the past she'd tried many different types of diet. They
didn't work. She said she took advice from pro-ana sites, they didn't
work (surprising because of the girls on those sites are very thin).

I understand those things didn't work for her but how can she not
realize that putting 8 sachets of sugar in her cup of tea will not
help? How can she not realize that a diet based mainly on sweet
pastries will not help?

I just got frustated when she had already expressed an interest
in losing weight by herself and then she was doing stuff like that.

I told her what worked for me was Duromine (aka Phentermine). She said
she thought she couldn't take that because she had a gastric band
(she's had it for 6 years, in which time she's gained weight).

We both agreed that she's addicted to sugar. Literally addicted. We
both know sugar addiction is bad yet now I feel like I can't
discussing with her without making her feel insulted.

A few weeks ago I suggested we go for a walk. At first she wanted to
go but then she refused and said "you're only asking me to go for a
walk so I'll lose weight". It's hard for me to deal with that
paranoia.

I think she has mental health issues, including OCD. I don't want to
discriminate against her for having OCD but it could make her
difficult to live with because I'm not the neatest person. It's like
we're the odd couple. I'm Oscar, she's Felix.

This OCD extends to dermatillomania. She always has perfectly clear
skin because she squeezes any pimple as soon as it appears. She had a
compulsion to do this to my pimples. I thought she would pop them with
a pin but instead she squeezed them between her fingernail and
thumbnail.

I found it very painful. At first she did it to the big ones on my
face but then she wanted to squeeze hundreds of blackheads that were
so small I couldn't even see them in the mirror. She would say "just
one more" and after that one she'd say "just one more" over and over
again. Each one hurt. She tried to squeeze one on my back that
wouldn't yeild, it was just solid skin. Excrutiatingly painful but she
wouldn't quit when it because obvious that it couldn't be destroyed in
this way.

I told her she was banned from trying to clear up my skin. A few weeks
later she was trying to do it again. She'd try to take me by surprise
in bed and after that didn't work she tried bargening with me so she
could do it.

I came to realize that the way she thinks about her skin (and mine) is
very irrational and it's truely a mental health issue. Again I don't
want to discriminate against people with mental health issues but it
could make her hard to live with.Yes of
course and I gave it to her. I didn't say "lose weight or I'll dump
you". She asked if I'd stay with her if she never lost weight and said
I would. But still she worried that I'd dump her for not losing
weight. She says she has abandonment issues. This could be another
mental health issue. I had no intention of abandoning her then she
dumped me.

The lesson here is: don't mention weight--unless the lady asks you to recommend a plan of action for weight loss.

Women and men have the same sensitivities. Sometimes, these sensitivities are felt more in women, for whatever reason--societal, or otherwise. It's ingrained and etched in the collective souls of society.

Of course women eye for rich men, why? Humans are no different from primates. Female primates compete for a alph male primate because a powerful male makes their offspring more chance of survival. In human society, rich men have more resources that equally offer better chance of survival for their offspring.

The reason why you don't feel the same way about this as other neurotypical women, because you are a autistic woman.

And yet I have NT friends who feel the same and would rather earn money with their partner than rely on them.

I'm not sure it is to do with autism completely

Maybe they just want to both be in the same income bracket.

In other words your friends were specifically looking for someone less wealthy so that they could earn money together?

Maybe they rejected richer partners because they felt inferior like esoterica181?

Um no they just fell in love with them without paying attention to their wealth, much like i did.

Is he rich?

My bf is a factory worked. My friends is a policeman and the other friend bf is a student. I also have another friend with a labourer