Anyone else like imagining a person watching you?

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Holden14
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02 May 2016, 7:43 am

I tend to get "special interests" on people, and while I have these I like to imagine that there's a camera on me and the subject of my interest is watching me. Often I imagine they're feeling sympathy for me, for whatever reason. This obviously I know can't be really happening, but, as these people are often teachers, I also hope they're watching me walking around school or into assembly or whatever, and often here I hope they think I look sad or vulnerable and that they want to help me. Is this an Aspie thing/anyone else do it?


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Fnord
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02 May 2016, 8:39 am

This is why religion and Santa Claus were invented.


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mikeman7918
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02 May 2016, 12:24 pm

I sometimes imagine that other people are watching a video of what I'm seeing from my perspective.


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north404
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06 May 2016, 3:17 pm

I think I sort of know what your talking about. I don't have any friends and don't use any social media but twitter (not really communicating with people, but moreorless just retweeting jokes, occasionally tweeting once in a while. & I don't follow anyone I know in real life). My page used to be easy to find by simply googling my full name (even after I had removed my last name from my page), but after a while it stopped. Still sort of easy to find if you search for me on twitter with just my first name though.

Anyway, I have a handful of crushes on people from class (current/old ones that I sometimes run into) that I've never spoken to. Sometimes I feel there's some connection between me and them as usually I'm pretty invisible but somehow they seem to notice me (this is after I realize my crush on them). Maybe they've noticed me staring at them or something. I like to think that they were intrigued by me and decided to look me up online and that they found my twitter. I like to think that they looked through my page and see me as an actual person with a personality, seeing that I have a sense of humor and whatnot - that I'm not as completely bleak and boring like how I present myself in class with my anxiety-ridden self. That they just don't approach me because of how "off" I look in person.

I often check my profile analytics on twitter too and like to think that it's a crush of mine who looked through my page (ignoring the fact that it really can be anyone on the site that randomly clicked my profile lol). This sort of mindset gives me a sense of purpose, to an extent, in that I'm pretty active on twitter and actually waste a lot of time on it - I use it as a coping method of some sort. I know that realistically no one checks my page and no one cares about me; in reality, my crushes just occasionally look at me, either feeling bad for me or making fun of me (because of how unsettling I look and my apparently present Austic traits), but it works.

I check on their facebooks and instagrams (those who left their's public) at least once a week. Again, no one probably checks up on me, but I like to think that they do too. Without this false hope/belief I'd be more bored and depressed with my life. It just gives me something to do.



Holden14
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13 May 2016, 2:26 pm

north404 wrote:
I think I sort of know what your talking about. I don't have any friends and don't use any social media but twitter (not really communicating with people, but moreorless just retweeting jokes, occasionally tweeting once in a while. & I don't follow anyone I know in real life). My page used to be easy to find by simply googling my full name (even after I had removed my last name from my page), but after a while it stopped. Still sort of easy to find if you search for me on twitter with just my first name though.

Anyway, I have a handful of crushes on people from class (current/old ones that I sometimes run into) that I've never spoken to. Sometimes I feel there's some connection between me and them as usually I'm pretty invisible but somehow they seem to notice me (this is after I realize my crush on them). Maybe they've noticed me staring at them or something. I like to think that they were intrigued by me and decided to look me up online and that they found my twitter. I like to think that they looked through my page and see me as an actual person with a personality, seeing that I have a sense of humor and whatnot - that I'm not as completely bleak and boring like how I present myself in class with my anxiety-ridden self. That they just don't approach me because of how "off" I look in person.

I often check my profile analytics on twitter too and like to think that it's a crush of mine who looked through my page (ignoring the fact that it really can be anyone on the site that randomly clicked my profile lol). This sort of mindset gives me a sense of purpose, to an extent, in that I'm pretty active on twitter and actually waste a lot of time on it - I use it as a coping method of some sort. I know that realistically no one checks my page and no one cares about me; in reality, my crushes just occasionally look at me, either feeling bad for me or making fun of me (because of how unsettling I look and my apparently present Austic traits), but it works.

I check on their facebooks and instagrams (those who left their's public) at least once a week. Again, no one probably checks up on me, but I like to think that they do too. Without this false hope/belief I'd be more bored and depressed with my life. It just gives me something to do.


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muff
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06 Jun 2016, 9:53 pm

ill take a stab at this.
for me, i have an inability (or so it seems to me) to imagine other people in my life when they are not around. ive heard from other people that they have this ability. i see a lot of people with photographs on the desks and whatnot that help them to do this. so i think i relate to what youre saying because sometimes it is helpful to me to act like an astronaut. not 'pretend' to be one, exactly, but act as though what im doing is being reported back to a mission control of sorts. is that what you mean?
p.s. not to get into the religion thing, but i do think that is different. in other words, i dont do this because i feel the absence of god (i think i know this because i dont feel the absence of god).



tinky2
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06 Jun 2016, 10:15 pm

No, because I often times talk to myself and running in to things. Look away from the walking klutz, please. Nothing to see here. I shall make exceptions for men I find attractive but urge them to view with caution.


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INTPnarwhal
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07 Jun 2016, 2:51 pm

Yep, constantly. I wonder if it has anything to do with executive functioning- metacognition is a skill that falls under it. Maybe direct metacognition is hard for us so he have to imagine someone else is evaluating us instead... just a shot-in-the-dark guess. I'm so glad other people experiwnce the same thing- I've never explained it to anyone before. It's always fictional characters for me. I think as a child, it started out of occasional lonliness and practicing theory of mind. I too tend to imagine them piting me occasionally- maybe it's because I don't let myself feel self pity but need it to counteract sll the blame, shame and frustration with myself for struggling to meet society's expectations. I try not to but it's easier than true confidence and self-acceptance.



deltekto
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10 Jun 2016, 4:28 am

Holden14, I assume you want people to help you with something. I don't like asking for help (it gives me negative feelings, perhaps a social anxiety or narcissism thing?), I'd rather they simply notice I need help with something. Still, asking helpful people for help or helping yourself is much more efficient at getting your problems solved. In fact, most people don't like unsolicited advice/help, so some helpful people who do notice you could use help may not offer help simply because you did not ask.



Holden14
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10 Jun 2016, 10:59 am

deltekto wrote:
Holden14, I assume you want people to help you with something. I don't like asking for help (it gives me negative feelings, perhaps a social anxiety or narcissism thing?), I'd rather they simply notice I need help with something. Still, asking helpful people for help or helping yourself is much more efficient at getting your problems solved. In fact, most people don't like unsolicited advice/help, so some helpful people who do notice you could use help may not offer help simply because you did not ask.

I know what you mean but I wasn't actually asking for help or advice, I'd be more direct if I was. I'm just interested to know if other people feel the same way I do, and it turns out they do, so I've enjoyed reading everyone's replies :)

PS Everyone else, it seems you all do this too which makes me feel better, thanks for your replies :)


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Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 121 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 83 of 200