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AspieGuy4210
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31 May 2016, 2:59 pm

So when I was in a class in college, there was this red haired chick and she hugged everyone in that class that she was with, but when I tried to, she just smiled and walked away or sometimes come up with some lame-ass explanation like oh I was busy (busy my ass, you're so busy you have time to take a FEW SECONDS to show some physical affection to others, but not for me). Like, what the hell, so apparently I am like a plague or a cancer and everyone is not? :x Ugh, this type of behavior just pisses me off, the dismissive passive-aggressive favoritism discriminatory behavior (not racism but still a type of mistreatment), because it's like everyone to her is ok, but to me it's like ugh no, you're (me) 2nd class citizen. If that isn't discrimination, favoritism, or just mistreatment of some sort, then I don't know what the hell is.

It's not fair to say that all people are like that, but situations like this makes me want to make those (wrong) sweeping generalizations despite my rational non-emotional side telling me no don't think that way...

Passive aggressive bullshit is another topic for another day so I'll save that for another time.



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31 May 2016, 5:25 pm

Just become more physically active then try again or perhaps just with other females.
Knowing how to generate pheromones will go a long way to getting you approached.

From this day onwards, grab a couple of dumbells (they can be as light as 5 lbs or 10 lbs each), find somewhere with a bunch of stairs, then each and every single day, run up and down as many times as you can, for 100 flights of stairs in a row if possible or for as long as you can hold out (holding onto the dumbells in your hands as you are running). This is to be done both in the morning and evenings. Get this done and you will notice a significant change in female-willingness to give you attention. Make sure to do this type of exercise/jogging before you go out into the public and do not forget to shower each time before you go out into anywhere public.


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AspieGuy4210
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31 May 2016, 6:54 pm

Hmm, I haven't heard about this before, but I'm not really looking for a girlfriend or getting into a relationship.. However, before I go on, this is something I haven't heard before, so I'm guessing that you are implying maybe my body gives off some negative vibe or the body odor might be repelling potential public displays of affection?

Also, this is one of the few females that do this to me :( Most other females won't initiate displays of affection unless I initiate the interaction/contact, and very few will automatically with open arms hug me.



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31 May 2016, 7:15 pm

Not saying that you are repelling the ladies from you.
I am telling you, from personal-experience, that you are not attracting them to you.
The pheromone-generating exercise is very effective. I know this from experience.
You do not need to get into a relationship just because you start to hug a girl by the way.

AspieGuy4210 wrote:
Hmm, I haven't heard about this before, but I'm not really looking for a girlfriend or getting into a relationship.. However, before I go on, this is something I haven't heard before, so I'm guessing that you are implying maybe my body gives off some negative vibe or the body odor might be repelling potential public displays of affection?

Also, this is one of the few females that do this to me :( Most other females won't initiate displays of affection unless I initiate the interaction/contact, and very few will automatically with open arms hug me.


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AspieGuy4210
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31 May 2016, 8:26 pm

Ah I see, thanks for the advice and I could use some workouts to stay in shape as well as physical exercise, so it can't hurt, but only help. :)



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02 Jun 2016, 2:58 am

I'd ignore what Ban-Dodger is saying, that's not the issue, and it might even make things worse.

AspieGuy4210 wrote:
Hmm, I haven't heard about this before, but I'm not really looking for a girlfriend or getting into a relationship.. However, before I go on, this is something I haven't heard before, so I'm guessing that you are implying maybe my body gives off some negative vibe or the body odor might be repelling potential public displays of affection?

Also, this is one of the few females that do this to me :( Most other females won't initiate displays of affection unless I initiate the interaction/contact, and very few will automatically with open arms hug me.


It's entirely possible the problem is body odor, so try to investigate that. Otherwise, she's just being a jerk, nothing you can do about it.


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AspieGuy4210
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02 Jun 2016, 12:16 pm

Thanks Ganondox, I was hoping that there was more than just one person responding. I suppose I can agree with the last part, that she was just being a jerk, wanting to hug others but not me.



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02 Jun 2016, 5:16 pm

AspieGuy4210 wrote:
Thanks Ganondox, I was hoping that there was more than just one person responding. I suppose I can agree with the last part, that she was just being a jerk, wanting to hug others but not me.


But it could very well be that you have bad body odor, in which you should find something to do about that.


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spinelli
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02 Jun 2016, 9:56 pm

Bump up your hygiene.



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03 Jun 2016, 9:57 am

What is so important about her hugs anyway and why is she doing that? You might want to ask her that. You might want to show her that you are interested in the subject that you both took by creating a side project because it may interest her.



AspieGuy4210
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04 Jun 2016, 1:05 am

Well to me, hugs (physically, in person, face-to-face) are one of the few friendly, yet intimate signs of affection that cannot be replicated or come close to the real interaction outside of seeing and interacting face to face with the person. (Sure, someone can say they hug someone or show their affection virtually or outside of face-to-face interactions, but it's just not the same.) While a "hug" isn't necessarily an tangible object, it is rather an action, gesture of kindness at that, and I try to tangify (probably not a real word, but whatever) it as like receiving a gift of some sort.

Also, it depends on the person that I'm receiving from. If it is a person that I admire greatly, is of value to me, or important to me (based on my values and perception), then it means so much more. Now that isn't to say that getting a hug from another individual is insignificant, there is some worth to that, but just much less than say, a celebrity or someone I really look up to. (Well, this is just the basics, but there are more factors that go into it so it's a bit more complex than what's on the surface.)

A few other reasons that just came to mind is that perhaps she just doesn't know me well enough, sometime in the past maybe there was a bad experience and she somehow associated it with me, or she just doesn't like me due to my awkwardness or something. I'm not sure if it were those reasons, but I'm not leaving any stone unturned.

Anyways, she isn't that important to me, but I thought this might be a good example of one of the many failed interactions I had with people.



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04 Jun 2016, 10:06 pm

It is difficult for us to analyze her apathy towards you because we are unaware of how you portrayed yourself when you made social contact with her.

That is why the responses are varied in this thread, the only solution is to work on every proposed solution to improve yourself for the better.



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05 Jun 2016, 5:28 am

The fact alone that she hugs everyone in the classroom everytime they meet smells like cringey behavior to me.

What'd be more important to me would be how the rest of the class looks at the fact that she deliberately ignores you while hugging everyone else, are they gonna think something must be seriously wrong with you or are they gonna see it as immature behavior coming from her side?



AspieGuy4210
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05 Jun 2016, 3:45 pm

@Nocturnus
Yeah I suppose so, and to answer your question, I was just calm and casual, like can I have a hug while extending my arms, then she just ducked away or sometimes walked briskly (kinda like I don't want to hug you). Well, if anything, it's favoritism and isolation.

@Uprising
I don't know, I suppose the class didn't really react to it... Also, yeah, it's cringe worthy that she would behave like that. Since then, I've moved on and just treat it as she isn't that important, she's just not worth my time.



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05 Jun 2016, 7:45 pm

Glad to hear it. But the issue is that she hugged them and you tried to hug her. They took the passive role and likely reacted to her, while it sounds like you tried to initiate. It's the fact that you expected a hug that made it feel to her more like an obligation to meet your expectations rather that a freely given act. The refusal was to remind you that she's in charge of who gets what and that she won't be pressured into giving anything.

Personally, unless I know her REALLY well (maybe not even then), there's a snowball's chance in hell of me trying to hug her. Let alone getting out of my chair for 3 seconds of hugging if she accepts vs the embarrassment in front of the class if she refuses? Not worth it at all. :?