When people ask 'what have you been up to?' and other quest

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fluter
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05 Jun 2016, 10:36 am

So I'm going to a networking event tonight. I want to do a good job answering peoples' questions because it could lead to more work. First, when someone asks what I've been up to, how many things should I say? Should they all be work-related? Is there anything I should definitely include?

I read that at events like this, I need to make myself appear to be useful to them in order to be remembered when my service is needed. How can I do that?

Finally, what other questions should I prepare answers for?

Thank you for any wisdom!



CKhermit
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05 Jun 2016, 11:00 am

This is kind of asking a blind person to describe the Grand Canyon. Joke. I think more important than worrying about a script you should be more conscience of your expressions. NT's are more engaged by smiles and positive body language than what is said. I tend to be flat when I speak so I have to remind myself in those situations to show emotion. Yuck. What kind of work do you do? That also can affect the way you need to interact. Also do what I do and take a NT friend to help your interactions, if the situation allows of course. I'm and artist so I always take my friend to openings. In fact he is the reason I make sales most of the time. People will like my work but he helps cinch the sale by keeping me from looking too awkward.



CKhermit
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05 Jun 2016, 11:02 am

Btw. That response would have been to long for a neurotypical. They tend to not be looking so much for an answer as a reason to talk again



fluter
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05 Jun 2016, 11:17 am

CKhermit wrote:
Btw. That response would have been too long for a neurotypical. They tend to not be looking so much for an answer as a reason to talk again


Thank you CKhermit. I'm a composer.

When you say 'a reason to talk again', what do you mean? How can my answer or body language give them a reason to talk again? Is it that if my answer seems useful to their own work, they will talk again to me?

When you say 'talk again', do you mean 'think of another sentence to say' (as in, during the same conversation)? Or do you mean 'talk again later' (as in, in a few months check in and see how things are?) --if this is the case, when does 'a few months' happen specifically? At another networking event?



Chichikov
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05 Jun 2016, 11:20 am

It's worth having something in mind that is work related to say what you've been doing, but most important is that after you have said what you've been doing is that you ask them the same question. Something like "I've been quite busy doing <insert something relevant here>. And yourself?" You can then see the kind of things that people say to you in response and alter your answers appropriately. Do they talk about work? About non-work things, or a mix of both? Think of other things you can say as appropriate.

Other questions people like to ask is what you've done at the weekend, again make sure to reciprocate. It's also ok to lie slightly, maybe think of something you did fairly recently that would be interesting to talk about even if you didn't literally do it the previous weekend. Also when people give their answers try and have follow-up questions, even if what they say is of no interest to you at all, and actually quite boring. "You went rock climbing? Wow, how high was the edifice?" and so on.



QuantumChemist
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05 Jun 2016, 11:26 am

I would say that you are constantly working on new compositions/projects. This may lead into them asking for examples of said compositions, which would give you a chance to explain some of your best ones to them. At some interviews, you can give them answers that can purposely direct the interview in your favor. Look at this as a chance for you to possibly show them what you can do. Hopefully, they will remember you when they need your service later on.



CKhermit
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05 Jun 2016, 11:32 am

I should have said "waiting for their turn to talk." in that particular conversation. But I think Chichikov's answers were more easily understood. His advice was very clear. Since you're in the arts I wouldn't worry too much. People who deal with artists seem to understand or at least accept eccentricity.



CKhermit
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05 Jun 2016, 8:28 pm

How did it go?



CockneyRebel
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05 Jun 2016, 11:18 pm

I just tell them that I've been working and spending time with my friends.


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fluter
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05 Jun 2016, 11:45 pm

It went well! Thank you! I prepared some things to talk about, and questions I could ask others to reciprocate. Sentences came to me at a good enough speed! I'm really grateful for all the help.



eric76
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06 Jun 2016, 2:23 am

I asked someone the other day if he had been up to anything good. He answered that he was trying. I didn't reply with my "I doubt it."

I figure it's only a matter of time before that bozo gets arrested and possibly ends up in a federal prison.



SocOfAutism
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06 Jun 2016, 9:39 am

I know it's too late, but I've only ever known one other composer. I was thinking of what he would be "up to" and what of that would be good to say.

Most of the things he was "up to" would be things he would rattle on about and shouldn't have. He was a strange and funny person. I had gotten the impression that it might be expected to be a strange person if you are in an arts-based career. I don't know if this is true or not.

Things he was "up to" that might be okay:
*He was always working on new compositions- he had music written in pencil in the back of his car that he would tinker with at odd moments
*For fun, he would rewrite Beatles songs as old-style jazz compositions
*He was always "working on a CD"
*He was always "working with a band" and it was always something odd, such as a band of all physicians plus him (he was a waiter in his non-composing life)
*He would go on international trips (and then here some of his not-safe-for-work stories would come in)