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Ecomatt91
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09 Jun 2016, 8:54 pm

I used to go on dating websites few years ago. I was on Okcupid, Eharmony, Match, Zoosk, RSVP and Plenty of Fish.

Yesterday I rejoined RSVP and Okcupid. I quit all of them before because no one replied to me for weeks and have no matches wanting me. I know women on there always get embedded with many guys messaging them. I feel like wasting my time waiting because of missing out on me.

So I joined so far, only one girl trying to message me but I couldn't pay $50 for short time on RSVP that able to get me to connect her. I felt like placing a bet on sports, which is equivalent to gambling. I don't know what women wanted on these websites because I see many profiles are different from each others. I am going to leave my account open for long and try message some from week to week to see any wanted to date with me.

Last times I left because I saw it like superficial like Tinder where people use photos to guide their attraction. I am not sure its an aspie thing of not succeeding on dating websites. I showed to my female friends of my profiles to help me to make it better. So its all good now.

How really good are dating websites these days? I do want to meet women in reality as well, like the groups I am involved with but they are all friend zoning me. That probably how women doesn't reply to you on dating websites. A common sense rejection.

I am wondering how does a guy get women all the time without much efforts? He such a lucky person.



Alliekit
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10 Jun 2016, 4:45 am

It really depends on the person. However there is no guy out there that gets girls with no effort. My boyfriend (who is quite goodlooking) said that you have to message alot of girls to get responses.

Also I have a friend who is over 300 pounds and a shut in and he gets replies if he works hard at it.

For ok cupid answering the questions really helps get better matches for you. Whenever there was a lull for me I answered more questions and it gave me new matches to try.

Also on their profile just under the bit you click to send a message of there is a red line it means they rarely message back.

It's not easy and you have to work at it. I was on there for 2 years before I met someone!



Sangsang
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11 Jun 2016, 1:30 pm

You don't have to spend money to use the sites -- OKCupid, POF and Tinder can be used quite well for free.

It's also worth putting a decent amount of effort in your profile -- an engaging description of yourself and your interest and a few recent, flattering pictures can work wonders. It's also a numbers game, so don't take no response from most of the girls you message personally.

I detailed my idiosyncratic interests on the theory that the men who shared them were the ones I was looking for. Met my BF of a year on OKC!

So good luck!



Ecomatt91
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12 Jun 2016, 12:24 am

Thanks for kind replies.

It can be frustrating as a male user on the sites is the fake users and sex workers contacting me without looking at my profile. Its pretty sad world. I am not like a guy trying to take advantage of women, so instead I get these spammy messages.



Ecomatt91
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12 Jun 2016, 12:57 am

That is another two further fake spammers of asking casual sex with a link to a website. Geeze Okcupid is attracted to fake users and sex workers who is trying to fool innocent guys.

Just then one girl finally replied to me, turns out so passively aggressive person. Here responses are below: (in bolded is her responses)

Hey you like Star Trek too?
Today - 3:31pm
Is Star Trek something you would like to talk about?​
Oh partially yes but I also would like to chat with you in general too
How are you?
Skip the boring questions. You don't really care how I am. That won't lead anywhere.

Ask something interesting! Say something that you actually wanna say. Make it real or else forget about it.​
Today - 3:46pm
Sorry, I haven't really used dating websites before so I don't follow pick up lines or something like that. I know I may sound boring but it not something I know well. You giving me an advice?

Have you tried eating exotic foods from other country before?
Like, irl you're gonna ask someone how they are but if you've got infinite time to write someone something, why do the same s**t over and over? It's f****n boring. It's not even about a pickup line, it's that every f****n dude sends the same message of "HEY HOW ARE YOU" and it's the lamest s**t. So ask about something you have in common with the other person. Show you have a mutual interest. It isn't that f****n hard.

So ask about a mutual interest and frame it so it's something to ACTUALLY TALK ABOUT.​


It seems there are so many weird people online. Why they are so subtle and arrogance to superficial values?



Alliekit
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12 Jun 2016, 4:17 am

Ecomatt91 wrote:
That is another two further fake spammers of asking casual sex with a link to a website. Geeze Okcupid is attracted to fake users and sex workers who is trying to fool innocent guys.

Just then one girl finally replied to me, turns out so passively aggressive person. Here responses are below: (in bolded is her responses)

Hey you like Star Trek too?
Today - 3:31pm
Is Star Trek something you would like to talk about?​
Oh partially yes but I also would like to chat with you in general too
How are you?
Skip the boring questions. You don't really care how I am. That won't lead anywhere.

Ask something interesting! Say something that you actually wanna say. Make it real or else forget about it.​
Today - 3:46pm
Sorry, I haven't really used dating websites before so I don't follow pick up lines or something like that. I know I may sound boring but it not something I know well. You giving me an advice?

Have you tried eating exotic foods from other country before?
Like, irl you're gonna ask someone how they are but if you've got infinite time to write someone something, why do the same s**t over and over? It's f****n boring. It's not even about a pickup line, it's that every f****n dude sends the same message of "HEY HOW ARE YOU" and it's the lamest s**t. So ask about something you have in common with the other person. Show you have a mutual interest. It isn't that f****n hard.

So ask about a mutual interest and frame it so it's something to ACTUALLY TALK ABOUT.​


It seems there are so many weird people online. Why they are so subtle and arrogance to superficial values?


If she's going to be so rude it's not worth it. I suppose she wanted you to personalise it or say somthing silly.
Perhaps (if she liked star trek) what world she would visit. Then after she answered ask her why.

Or asking them if they could travel to any country where would they go.

Tbh she wasn't very nice so I wouldnt take it to heart



rdos
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12 Jun 2016, 8:11 am

Ecomatt91 wrote:
That is another two further fake spammers of asking casual sex with a link to a website. Geeze Okcupid is attracted to fake users and sex workers who is trying to fool innocent guys.

Just then one girl finally replied to me, turns out so passively aggressive person. Here responses are below: (in bolded is her responses)

Hey you like Star Trek too?
Today - 3:31pm
Is Star Trek something you would like to talk about?
Oh partially yes but I also would like to chat with you in general too
How are you?
Skip the boring questions. You don't really care how I am. That won't lead anywhere.

Ask something interesting! Say something that you actually wanna say. Make it real or else forget about it.​
Today - 3:46pm
Sorry, I haven't really used dating websites before so I don't follow pick up lines or something like that. I know I may sound boring but it not something I know well. You giving me an advice?

Have you tried eating exotic foods from other country before?
Like, irl you're gonna ask someone how they are but if you've got infinite time to write someone something, why do the same s**t over and over? It's f****n boring. It's not even about a pickup line, it's that every f****n dude sends the same message of "HEY HOW ARE YOU" and it's the lamest s**t. So ask about something you have in common with the other person. Show you have a mutual interest. It isn't that f****n hard.

So ask about a mutual interest and frame it so it's something to ACTUALLY TALK ABOUT.​


It seems there are so many weird people online. Why they are so subtle and arrogance to superficial values?


I'd just play along with it and use the same obscene language in return. Would have been great fun. That she dislikes smalltalk is a good sign.

Besides, never, ever ask a potential date for advice. You're not seeking a counselor​.



Sangsang
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12 Jun 2016, 10:20 am

Ecomatt91 wrote:
Thanks for kind replies.

It can be frustrating as a male user on the sites is the fake users and sex workers contacting me without looking at my profile. Its pretty sad world. I am not like a guy trying to take advantage of women, so instead I get these spammy messages.


delete the spammy messages and don't give them a second thought. It's par for the course with internet dating (and happens to girls too. I've been sent far too many unsolicited dick pics).

Write back to the non-spammy messages from girls.

Also, nobody knows who you are on the internet.... you say you're a good guy who isn't trying to take advantage of women but the women on dating sites don't, can't know that about you just from your profile.



Ecomatt91
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12 Jun 2016, 7:20 pm

Of course I delete and report them.

I stopped talking to her because kept swearing at me and being terribly aggressive. Kept ignoring that I am not like other guys. She must have been traumatised using the dating websites. That isn't a girl I look for.

I am considering to delete Okcupid because its too broken system. I joined PoF and I have no issues from there. Women are nicer and caring in returning my messages. No spammy fakes on there so far. It seems much more people on PoF than Okcupid.



Ecomatt91
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12 Jun 2016, 8:20 pm

Oh by the way, I don't message to every girl on PoF but I have messaged a few that I am interested about their interests and stuff from their profiles. Then they let me know they viewed my profile and not even bothering replying to me. I only have one so far. The common interests doesn't seem an attractive thing anymore? That because i messaged them that they shared similar things.



The_Face_of_Boo
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13 Jun 2016, 12:30 am

Ecomatt91 wrote:
That is another two further fake spammers of asking casual sex with a link to a website. Geeze Okcupid is attracted to fake users and sex workers who is trying to fool innocent guys.

Just then one girl finally replied to me, turns out so passively aggressive person. Here responses are below: (in bolded is her responses)

Hey you like Star Trek too?
Today - 3:31pm
Is Star Trek something you would like to talk about?​
Oh partially yes but I also would like to chat with you in general too
How are you?
Skip the boring questions. You don't really care how I am. That won't lead anywhere.

Ask something interesting! Say something that you actually wanna say. Make it real or else forget about it.​
Today - 3:46pm
Sorry, I haven't really used dating websites before so I don't follow pick up lines or something like that. I know I may sound boring but it not something I know well. You giving me an advice?

Have you tried eating exotic foods from other country before?
Like, irl you're gonna ask someone how they are but if you've got infinite time to write someone something, why do the same s**t over and over? It's f****n boring. It's not even about a pickup line, it's that every f****n dude sends the same message of "HEY HOW ARE YOU" and it's the lamest s**t. So ask about something you have in common with the other person. Show you have a mutual interest. It isn't that f****n hard.

So ask about a mutual interest and frame it so it's something to ACTUALLY TALK ABOUT.​


It seems there are so many weird people online. Why they are so subtle and arrogance to superficial values?


That's the 'I demand special crafted messages' type.

As I said, self-centered and plain crazy.

I would reply: Learn how to show respect, bye.



The_Face_of_Boo
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13 Jun 2016, 12:46 am

^ I mean instead of all this aggression, why didn't she simply reply and added a question asking about a mutual interest since that what she so wanted?
This shows that she demands that kind of effort only from the guy side, but she never does it.
A sick sense of entitlement.



rdos
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13 Jun 2016, 2:13 am

Ecomatt91 wrote:
Of course I delete and report them.

I stopped talking to her because kept swearing at me and being terribly aggressive. Kept ignoring that I am not like other guys. She must have been traumatised using the dating websites. That isn't a girl I look for.


I think it was a test, and you failed it.

As I wrote before, I'd answer her in the same tone.



Ecomatt91
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13 Jun 2016, 2:55 am

rdos wrote:
Ecomatt91 wrote:
Of course I delete and report them.

I stopped talking to her because kept swearing at me and being terribly aggressive. Kept ignoring that I am not like other guys. She must have been traumatised using the dating websites. That isn't a girl I look for.


I think it was a test, and you failed it.

As I wrote before, I'd answer her in the same tone.


No offense. Are you psycho-aggressive person?

You cannot go and blend in very offensive foul language directly towards you without you made any issues. This is my first time speaking to her and she judges me terribly like I am every same other guys that she met before me. It pisses me off.



rdos
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13 Jun 2016, 3:27 am

Ecomatt91 wrote:
rdos wrote:
Ecomatt91 wrote:
Of course I delete and report them.

I stopped talking to her because kept swearing at me and being terribly aggressive. Kept ignoring that I am not like other guys. She must have been traumatised using the dating websites. That isn't a girl I look for.


I think it was a test, and you failed it.

As I wrote before, I'd answer her in the same tone.


No offense. Are you psycho-aggressive person?


Just read the message again and remove the obscene words, and then tell me where she is aggressive.

Ecomatt91 wrote:
You cannot go and blend in very offensive foul language directly towards you without you made any issues. This is my first time speaking to her and she judges me terribly like I am every same other guys that she met before me. It pisses me off.


I've played this game with an ND girl on an autism forum. It was a lot of fun. Just because she swears and uses foul language, doesn't mean she is aggressive. You need to modify your "aggression radar" so it doesn't trigger on swearing.