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Apatura
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04 May 2007, 8:32 am

Does anyone else avoid social-heavy errands? I.e. errands that will involve talking to people, especially strangers? I've had trouble with my car alarm for months and haven't taken it in yet. The alarm place is in a different location than the regular maintenance place, I have never seen/ spoken to the people there, I know they will treat me like an idiot until they see there really is a problem. I can't turn off the alarm so can only unlock the car with the keychain, else I set off the alarm. If I set off the alarm, the ignition won't start. Yet one of my keychains is already dead, so, in other words, I risk getting locked out of my car if I go anywhere.



calandale
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04 May 2007, 8:43 am

I avoid just about anything that
is not in my routine. But yeah,
dealing with people just makes
it worse.



MsTriste
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04 May 2007, 8:50 am

Oh yeah. Partly it's because sometimes you have such a bad interaction with some stranger that it ruins your day. I dread errands. I have run out of library books for a week which is a recipe for emotional breakdown yet I'm waiting till I HAVE to drive into town to go to the library. I try to do it all one day a week, and get them all over with at once. One thing I've discovered is that it tends to go much better if I take MS or my daughter along. I refuse to go grocery shopping by myself anymore.

I want to get an MP3 player to help when out and about.



0_equals_true
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04 May 2007, 8:59 am

That is one of the reasons why I won’t drive. I don't want to break down and sit in the cab with recovery/have to talk to them. I don't want to have an accident. I'm pretty avoidant. It doesn't bother me some much any more. It is the way I am. But yep if the alarm when off I probably just leave it till it secedes. One of the reasons why I don't go out for days at a time. But I'm ok like that. I can not go out for couple of weeks then meet up my friends. I need to see my friends once because before that anyone I didn't see for a while i never contacted again. I can just about get my haircut because they are Italian and don't ask too many questions. Plus I feel better if there is a mirror there I can see what is happening. I don't mind errands that are not that social.

Personally I think that car alarms are pretty much useless. People just ignore them. Even if it is the full horn people just get more annoyed but are never concerned. Cars are stolen in a matter of seconds, which is no match for an alarm. Either that or the get your keys with a hook on a stick through the letter box. You’re better off with a good disabler and a full wheel and pedal lock.



blessedmom
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04 May 2007, 9:10 am

I don't go shopping alone because I tend to talk to myself when I get nervous, which is as soon as I leave my car. If I take someone with it looks like I'm talking to them. At one point my discomfort with people was so bad that I would only get gas from a self serve station so that I wouldn't have to talk to an attendant. It is getting a little better now that I am older and don't care what people think. :) My husband does most of the errands, as well. His social concerns aren't as bad as mine.



agentcyclosarin
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04 May 2007, 9:10 am

aylissa wrote:
I want to get an MP3 player to help when out and about.


They are an incredible asset. I bought an extremely cheap one, 1GB. Its small but it gets the job done and works really well.


I dread going out too, I always get stuck on what to say when people abruptly ask me things, how to react and such. When I was much younger and isolated for a long time I forgot about the 'real world' so bad I that when I was liberated from such confinement just enough to step outside I forgot what sign meant to cross the road and which meant to stop. The concepts of being outside was baffling to me.

I avoid it still though which is not too good, I need to force myself out more often.



girl7000
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04 May 2007, 9:20 am

I use earplugs when outdoors / in social situations to try and abate the sensory overload from all the noise people tend to make. I use the soft foam ones, because the other kinds hurt too much.

Where possible I organise things via email or phone, or sometimes by letter (which can be problematic as I am dyslexic) rather than going in person.

I've even struggled with medical appointments because I couldn't cope with going in person and they wouldn't let me have the consultatinion over the phone or via computer - which annoyed me because it is pretty unreasonable to expect someone with anxeity severe enough that they are referred to the hospital to actually be able to leave their house to make the appointment! It's a bit of a silly contradiction really.

After being around people or in any kind of a social situation, I need to rest. It makes me really tired and I also need to prepare carefully before hand by getting plenty of sleep and planning my medication. It's a bit like preparing for and recovering from a stressful exam.



BenJ
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04 May 2007, 9:29 am

I usually find it hard do socially demanding errands. The worst ones though are when someone else asks me to do something that involves talking to someone in an environment i am not comfortable in. It totally throws me.


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ZanneMarie
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04 May 2007, 10:02 am

I don't like socially demanding errands, but I can do them. I cannot handle grocery stores, Home Depot, Walmart or the like. Any of them. I won't go. Dh has to do all that. I can't get into those big warehouse type buildings with the lights, smells and noise and not meltdown. Inevitably someone touches me or speaks to me as well. He hasn't expected me to go grocery shopping since the day I passed out in the checkout line. When I go into overload, I just pass out so he's learned to respect that limitation and we just work around it. I guess mine is more of a sensory thing than a social phobia. I would never line them up though. One encounter with people for errands and I have to go lie down. I couldn't handle an entire day of it.


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Prof_Pretorius
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04 May 2007, 10:14 am

I always go to the machine check out lane wherever. Grocery, hardware store, I hate dealing with people at the register. Or clerks, I'l prowl like a hungery tiger searching for an item, rather than ask someone. That's probably why I hate buying clothes!! ! Auughhhh ! ! Clerks, and the damn formaldehyde ! !! (allergies, ya know) TM brings home shirts for me, and I'm soooo grateful.
I'm up for another haircut, and I dread that. I want one of those futuristic machines where I push a button for the haircut I prefer, swipe my card, stick my head inside, whirrrrrrrrsnipedity-snip, and DONE ! ! That would be REAL progress ! !!


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Mescalero
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04 May 2007, 10:23 am

It all depends. Some days I know I am just all out of kilter. I may have no food in the house and still won't go out. I may go out, get on the bus and immediately get off again. Last week I walked round the supermarket for 20 minutes, getting more and more frustrated, until I left with nothing.
Other days I feel quite in sync, and nothing seems to bother me.



calandale
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04 May 2007, 10:32 am

I used to love my walkman,
but at some point I decided that
life was better getting all of the
input.



Beenthere
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04 May 2007, 10:38 am

It wears me out period. I could move the furniture around all day and clean and although yes I would be tired at the end of the day...I'm still more wiped out it seems from just an hour of dealing with a bunch of people socially.


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Davidufo
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04 May 2007, 11:08 am

i don't like going to the bank or the post office ... i don't like having to wait in line or fiddle with machines in those places



pluto
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04 May 2007, 3:47 pm

I'm ok with some things but others fill me with dread,like going for a haircut as everyone's
expected to indulge in small talk,almost like it's a competition to see who's been doing the
most interesting things.The thought of having to buy a new car soon doesn't exactly enthrall me
either


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SeriousGirl
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04 May 2007, 4:33 pm

I don't like to drive in heavy traffic and we live in an area of congestion. It makes me very nervous to have thousands of cars moving around me. I go into intp mode and can become pretty oblivious to people so it doesn't make me nervous. I find it very tedious. But then my entp side kicks in and says WTF, just do it!

I don't have social anxiety, but I do have many sensory issues - crowds, noise, traffic.


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