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LanguageMeterScholar
Blue Jay
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10 Jul 2016, 1:14 am

Autistic people have problems communicating with others because we don't value what they value.

The neurotypical mind can tune into the values of others so it can thrive in the normal world, but ours has constraints in achieving this and we have to logically work out what kind of topics others are valid.

This is my life's work so I'd really like some input. I have always have had problems relating to others so I want a scientific explanation as to why this is the case.

Thanks.


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I am a language teacher and amateur language scientist, I want to create a theory of language that can benefit autism spectrum persons as well as those with other neurological conditions. Communication with the NT world can be difficult, and I would love to hear what problems you have had trying to deal with such problems. If you want to talk about it please contact me.


LanguageMeterScholar
Blue Jay
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10 Jul 2016, 4:38 am

Perhaps my theory isn't fleshed out enough to show to others.


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I am a language teacher and amateur language scientist, I want to create a theory of language that can benefit autism spectrum persons as well as those with other neurological conditions. Communication with the NT world can be difficult, and I would love to hear what problems you have had trying to deal with such problems. If you want to talk about it please contact me.


Ichinin
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10 Jul 2016, 5:58 am

LanguageMeterScholar wrote:
Autistic people have problems communicating with others because we don't value what they value.

The neurotypical mind can tune into the values of others so it can thrive in the normal world, but ours has constraints in achieving this and we have to logically work out what kind of topics others are valid.


Or maby your theory is crap since you generalise about "Autistic people" and use terms like "we don't value" as a description without looking to the individual (You claim to be from China, if so drop the collective thinking - we are not an insect hive, we are as diverse as the normal population).

I have little in common with other aspies/autistics and i prefer neurotypical friends who are nerds.


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GhostsInTheWallpaper
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10 Jul 2016, 8:36 am

There are lots of autistics and NTs who have tried to understand why autistics have trouble communicating, and especially with NTs. Often sensory issues are cited, as making it difficult for the autistic person to get the right balance of information out of the social situation in order to understand it and act on it. Autistics and NTs tend to pay attention differently, with the former often catching fine details and having difficulty filtering and ignoring certain things, and the latter ignoring some things so well that they pretty much disappear until there's nothing more socially or personally exciting to pay attention to. Example: crickets chirping, the refrigerator humming. I rarely notice these things as an NT. But according to videos I've read about autism, these same kinds of little things that NTs filter out with ease, or are at most a minor annoyance, can set an autistic over the edge and interfere with concentration on other things, including social life.

From my personal experience of having had some AS-like traits when little, I think there's another issue at hand: cognitive empathy. I may have perceived like others perceived by mid-childhood at the latest (and never all that radically different before that), but for a long time I didn't think like others thought. I couldn't understand why certain situations, especially social things, made people so upset in certain ways. Why did people feel lonely? Why did people still feel so hurt when others acted kind of mean in a very typical way for the situation as I understood it? Why couldn't they handle the truth? Why couldn't they just accept punishment when they did wrong? Cognitive empathy doesn't fail just between neurodivergents and NTs (and it fails both ways, with NTs not understanding NDs), it can fail between any two people who are different and have rarely had to use their imagination to try to understand each other. Like, say, Democrats and Republicans. This would be closer to your hypothesis. But I think it's only part of the story, with the sensory perceptive differences making up at least a good chunk of the rest.



ASPartOfMe
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10 Jul 2016, 10:41 am

NT's and us value most of the same things, we might generally value logical thinking or quiet time more then NT's. The amount of posters and the amount of times many members post, how many posts describe the relief and joy of finding out there are others like them is indicative that autistics do value social communication.

The communication problems tend to be in social and emotional presentation and thinking patterns. You can call it Autistic differences or Autistic impairments that does not change the above.


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foxfield
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10 Jul 2016, 10:57 am

The theory rings very true with me, whether or not it is the whole story.

I find I have different values from people time and time again.

1. Material values. My life is very simplistic relative to my income.

2. Moral values. I have unusual moral values that are strongly based on logic. For example, its my personal option that people should not have children.

3. Preferences about conversation. I have a need for conversation that is either extremely intellectual or extremely structured (such as talking in lists: "What were your favourite TV shows of the 90s? etc.)

4. Preferences about surroundings. I would rather eat a sandwich in peace and quiet than have a posh meal at a fancy restaurant, because of the noise issue.

5. Risk aversion. I find a lot of things people find fun or worthwhile to be reckless and unacceptably risky. For example going travelling abroad.

You can see already I am very different from 99%. How am I supposed to ever connect to people conversationally when I see things so differently?

There are probably a lot more examples of the ways I clash with society. All of these strongly held values taken together are very disabling for me, for example it is very difficult for me to find a suitable romantic partner because of the values I have, and my friendships are very superficial.



ASPartOfMe
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10 Jul 2016, 11:07 am

Do not confuse American or American like values such as materialism, extroversion with NT values if there is such a thing.


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My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person. - Sara Luterman


LanguageMeterScholar
Blue Jay
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10 Jul 2016, 6:57 pm

I suppose for me values are rather a broad definition.

Values refer to the concepts that you treat with a degree of interest, a degree of urgency.

NTs instinctually gravitate towards human contact, they value objects, concepts because other people value them. And they can communicate fluently with others.

Just imagine you go into a supermarket all the items in the supermarket are marked with their prices, and trade is easy because of this fact. This is the NT world. Now imagine you go into a supermarket and none of the items have a price tag, you are left considering what the values of the objects are, you ask the teller, you pontificate, you philosophize about the value of the items in the store. Exchange is not easy. And this is the autistic world.

This is my experience of being an autistic person, constantly desiring acceptance from others but unable to make that smooth exchange and so acceptance is beyond me.


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I am a language teacher and amateur language scientist, I want to create a theory of language that can benefit autism spectrum persons as well as those with other neurological conditions. Communication with the NT world can be difficult, and I would love to hear what problems you have had trying to deal with such problems. If you want to talk about it please contact me.