A good trend : Men stopped(cold) approaching women for good.

Page 3 of 5 [ 76 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,350
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

11 Jul 2016, 2:18 pm

Hang on. You're going off on a tangent.

My point was, there are men in the dating world who just want sex. Women will assume that a man who asks her out upon first meeting her is one of those blokes.

That's why you're right in saying women don't like the cold approach.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 70,883
Location: Queens, NYC

11 Jul 2016, 2:19 pm

I don't think it's necessarily for losers. I just don't like the concept.

Strip clubs stink, a lot of the time.

One time when I was 21, I went into this place which had all kinds of stuff. Sadomasochism, Bondage and Discipline, stuff like that. Many naked people. I had to leave the place because I was practically choking from asthma.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 29,548
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

11 Jul 2016, 3:25 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Hang on. You're going off on a tangent.

My point was, there are men in the dating world who just want sex. Women will assume that a man who asks her out upon first meeting her is one of those blokes.

That's why you're right in saying women don't like the cold approach.


Then we agree that the cold approach should die.

and you ladies shouldn't complain at all when no cute man cold approaches to you in some party. :p



rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,755
Location: Sweden

11 Jul 2016, 3:33 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I just don't think I'd be a success just observing somebody for months at a time. I'd be too impatient if I have a crush on somebody. I'd want to do something about it, not necessarily sex, just companionship, being with that person, conversing with that person.

When I was 15, I had that sort of crush on a neighbor girl. She had blonde hair and blue eyes. I used to look at her window; not to see her naked, but just to see her. I wasn't really interested in seeing her naked. Nothing came of it, much to my frustration.

Earlier in that year, 1976, I had a BAD crush on a girl who lived in an apartment building about six blocks from my home. We had a passionate kissing session in her vestibule, where she taught me the proper way to tongue-kiss. She was 14, and much more experienced than I was. She was a Hispanic girl who had a father who didn't want her going out with a white guy. After the kissing session, I exploded many times in my bed.

I looked up at her window for about six months; then we moved away. One day, she ran out of her apartment building screaming and crying, I don't know why. I wonder if it had something to do with me (though I wouldn't necessarily conclude that).

A few years ago, I looked up at that same window, just to see if she was there. Nope....not even close! It would have been great, though, if I would have seen her that day! We would have been about 50 years old at the time.

After all that, I decided that observation wasn't the way to go.


You shouldn't do these things unless you know there is a mutual interest. The observation game must be mutual to be useful, otherwise it just wastes your time. The eye contact game is a good way to make sure it is mutual.

I don't think I ever did non-mutual observation, and at least, I never did it for a long time. That would be more like secretly admiring somebody, which I really don't do, and especially not with somebody I'm romantically interested in.



Last edited by rdos on 11 Jul 2016, 3:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,350
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

11 Jul 2016, 3:36 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Hang on. You're going off on a tangent.

My point was, there are men in the dating world who just want sex. Women will assume that a man who asks her out upon first meeting her is one of those blokes.

That's why you're right in saying women don't like the cold approach.


Then we agree that the cold approach should die.

and you ladies shouldn't complain at all when no cute man cold approaches to you in some party. :p


Parties are different. You go to socialise and meet people. You're there with people you know, that know people you know.

It's in a bar or walking down the street that is when the cold approach is creepy. This random dude is a stranger and that's kinda scary.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 29,548
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

11 Jul 2016, 3:49 pm

Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Hang on. You're going off on a tangent.

My point was, there are men in the dating world who just want sex. Women will assume that a man who asks her out upon first meeting her is one of those blokes.

That's why you're right in saying women don't like the cold approach.


Then we agree that the cold approach should die.

and you ladies shouldn't complain at all when no cute man cold approaches to you in some party. :p


Parties are different. You go to socialise and meet people. You're there with people you know, that know people you know.

It's in a bar or walking down the street that is when the cold approach is creepy. This random dude is a stranger and that's kinda scary.


Yes, but in depends; guys wouldn't apprach girls there if there's no mutual friend introducing them.

So, wait a second, do you mean that you never wished that a certain specific cute guy you noticed to come to you and talk to you despite that he doesn't know you much? (=cold approach)



rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,755
Location: Sweden

11 Jul 2016, 3:52 pm

hurtloam wrote:
Hang on. You're going off on a tangent.

My point was, there are men in the dating world who just want sex. Women will assume that a man who asks her out upon first meeting her is one of those blokes.

That's why you're right in saying women don't like the cold approach.


Some women think that guys only want sex even when the guy has told them multiple times it is not so. I think this is because these kind of things are so prevalent, and so they extrapolate it to every guy. I'd guess very attractive women are more likely to think that way.



Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,792
Location: Out of my mind

11 Jul 2016, 4:27 pm

Great. Guys shouldn't cold approach women if their only intention is to get a date.

If they approach women because they find them interesting and/or attractive and they genuinely wish to talk to them and find out what kind of person they are, then fair enough.

If you're not willing to talk to any kind of person, whether male or female, young or old, able-bodied or disabled, attractive or not so attractive, I doubt the cold approach method is for you.

I don't see why you should be approaching women exclusively.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,792
Location: Out of my mind

11 Jul 2016, 4:29 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I enjoy going to up to women and telling them they look good. I love the smiles I get.

I went up to this woman the other day in a bagel shop. She looked really elegant. I told her: "You look elegant today." She smiled and said thank you.

I like your method.
You do it because you enjoy it.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 29,548
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

11 Jul 2016, 4:30 pm

Raleigh wrote:
Great. Guys shouldn't cold approach women if their only intention is to get a date.

If they approach women because they find them interesting and/or attractive and they genuinely wish to talk to them and find out what kind of person they are, then fair enough.

If you're not willing to talk to any kind of person, whether male or female, young or old, able-bodied or disabled, attractive or not so attractive, I doubt the cold approach method is for you.

I don't see why you should be approaching women exclusively.


The problem is about assumption, they might assume you're only after sex even if the real reason that you find her interesting as a person.
They cannot read your mind to see your real intention.

Didn't you read what hurtloam what she heard from other women?

Quote:
I don't see why you should be approaching women exclusively.


Because my thread is about heterosexual courting in particular, not gay dating and not about friendships, and no one said it should be exclusively with women.



Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,792
Location: Out of my mind

11 Jul 2016, 4:47 pm

The more people you talk to => the more networks you are buiding => the more chance you have of meeting someone through connections.

Btw, some gay guys have a lot of female friends.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,350
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

11 Jul 2016, 4:50 pm

Also if you get used to talking to anyone and everbody you come over more friendly. If the woman you're interested in sees you mingling with a variety of people she won't feel like you only approached her because you like how she looks.



The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 29,548
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

11 Jul 2016, 4:53 pm

Raleigh wrote:
The more people you talk to => the more networks you are buiding => the more chance you have of meeting someone through connections.

Btw, some gay guys have a lot of female friends.


Yes, I completely agree, this is called socialization - and I did say this is the only socially acceptable way.

But the first step "The more people you talk to" has to be through socialization too, not thro cold approaching.



Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,792
Location: Out of my mind

11 Jul 2016, 4:57 pm

I did say that I agreed with the no cold approaching.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


Raleigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jul 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 30,792
Location: Out of my mind

11 Jul 2016, 4:58 pm

f*****g tough audience here.


_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking


HighLlama
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Apr 2015
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,462

11 Jul 2016, 5:00 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Btw, let me tell you something regarding the manosphere, that it may shock: a lot of men do not see paying for sex workers as something for losers - this social rule you are talking about is commonly found among women, not among men.

I wanna give you a shocking reality check.

Let me give you a concrete examples:
Last year when I went to Prague for work, and at night we were wandering the old town with my coworkers; and they are from different natioalities : Lebanese, America, English and Czech.

Romance wise, I am the only one who would be considered.... a loser who can't attact women much- because I am the only one among them who isn't in a relationship while them are all in relationship (but their partners weren't with them in this trip).
My lebanese colleague is a very handsome man, very extrovert, he has a very very gorgeous gf, and I knew at least two girls who were chasing him.
The other men with us were married, some are in very senior positions too.

What happened? Well we found out a strip club in an alley, and they dragged me into it - I, the romance-wise loser, literally did nothing inside, I just took a drink and ignored the offers from the bold semi naked women there; one of them gave up and started to talk to me about her family and she told me that I looked nervous, she was right. lol

The romance-winners on the other hand were looking, paid for a lap dance, and my colleague and another one paid for private sessions (it was full sex).

So you see, the "prostitution is for losers who can't attract women" social rule is not applicable to the manosphere- what is worse, they were boasting about what they did to this and that.

I can give you plenty of other examples.


Prostitution and stripping are not exactly dream jobs for most people. I have a feeling if a woman thinks you're a loser for utilizing either, it's because you're helping support a degrading and destructive labor system, not because they're concerned about your love life.

The women at the strip club weren't being bold, they were trying to make a living.


_________________
Unofficially human.