A good trend : Men stopped(cold) approaching women for good.
I don't think it's necessarily for losers. I just don't like the concept.
Strip clubs stink, a lot of the time.
One time when I was 21, I went into this place which had all kinds of stuff. Sadomasochism, Bondage and Discipline, stuff like that. Many naked people. I had to leave the place because I was practically choking from asthma.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
My point was, there are men in the dating world who just want sex. Women will assume that a man who asks her out upon first meeting her is one of those blokes.
That's why you're right in saying women don't like the cold approach.
Then we agree that the cold approach should die.
and you ladies shouldn't complain at all when no cute man cold approaches to you in some party. :p
When I was 15, I had that sort of crush on a neighbor girl. She had blonde hair and blue eyes. I used to look at her window; not to see her naked, but just to see her. I wasn't really interested in seeing her naked. Nothing came of it, much to my frustration.
Earlier in that year, 1976, I had a BAD crush on a girl who lived in an apartment building about six blocks from my home. We had a passionate kissing session in her vestibule, where she taught me the proper way to tongue-kiss. She was 14, and much more experienced than I was. She was a Hispanic girl who had a father who didn't want her going out with a white guy. After the kissing session, I exploded many times in my bed.
I looked up at her window for about six months; then we moved away. One day, she ran out of her apartment building screaming and crying, I don't know why. I wonder if it had something to do with me (though I wouldn't necessarily conclude that).
A few years ago, I looked up at that same window, just to see if she was there. Nope....not even close! It would have been great, though, if I would have seen her that day! We would have been about 50 years old at the time.
After all that, I decided that observation wasn't the way to go.
You shouldn't do these things unless you know there is a mutual interest. The observation game must be mutual to be useful, otherwise it just wastes your time. The eye contact game is a good way to make sure it is mutual.
I don't think I ever did non-mutual observation, and at least, I never did it for a long time. That would be more like secretly admiring somebody, which I really don't do, and especially not with somebody I'm romantically interested in.
Last edited by rdos on 11 Jul 2016, 3:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
My point was, there are men in the dating world who just want sex. Women will assume that a man who asks her out upon first meeting her is one of those blokes.
That's why you're right in saying women don't like the cold approach.
Then we agree that the cold approach should die.
and you ladies shouldn't complain at all when no cute man cold approaches to you in some party. :p
Parties are different. You go to socialise and meet people. You're there with people you know, that know people you know.
It's in a bar or walking down the street that is when the cold approach is creepy. This random dude is a stranger and that's kinda scary.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
My point was, there are men in the dating world who just want sex. Women will assume that a man who asks her out upon first meeting her is one of those blokes.
That's why you're right in saying women don't like the cold approach.
Then we agree that the cold approach should die.
and you ladies shouldn't complain at all when no cute man cold approaches to you in some party. :p
Parties are different. You go to socialise and meet people. You're there with people you know, that know people you know.
It's in a bar or walking down the street that is when the cold approach is creepy. This random dude is a stranger and that's kinda scary.
Yes, but in depends; guys wouldn't apprach girls there if there's no mutual friend introducing them.
So, wait a second, do you mean that you never wished that a certain specific cute guy you noticed to come to you and talk to you despite that he doesn't know you much? (=cold approach)
My point was, there are men in the dating world who just want sex. Women will assume that a man who asks her out upon first meeting her is one of those blokes.
That's why you're right in saying women don't like the cold approach.
Some women think that guys only want sex even when the guy has told them multiple times it is not so. I think this is because these kind of things are so prevalent, and so they extrapolate it to every guy. I'd guess very attractive women are more likely to think that way.
Great. Guys shouldn't cold approach women if their only intention is to get a date.
If they approach women because they find them interesting and/or attractive and they genuinely wish to talk to them and find out what kind of person they are, then fair enough.
If you're not willing to talk to any kind of person, whether male or female, young or old, able-bodied or disabled, attractive or not so attractive, I doubt the cold approach method is for you.
I don't see why you should be approaching women exclusively.
_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking
I went up to this woman the other day in a bagel shop. She looked really elegant. I told her: "You look elegant today." She smiled and said thank you.
I like your method.
You do it because you enjoy it.
_________________
It's like I'm sleepwalking
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
If they approach women because they find them interesting and/or attractive and they genuinely wish to talk to them and find out what kind of person they are, then fair enough.
If you're not willing to talk to any kind of person, whether male or female, young or old, able-bodied or disabled, attractive or not so attractive, I doubt the cold approach method is for you.
I don't see why you should be approaching women exclusively.
The problem is about assumption, they might assume you're only after sex even if the real reason that you find her interesting as a person.
They cannot read your mind to see your real intention.
Didn't you read what hurtloam what she heard from other women?
Because my thread is about heterosexual courting in particular, not gay dating and not about friendships, and no one said it should be exclusively with women.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Btw, some gay guys have a lot of female friends.
Yes, I completely agree, this is called socialization - and I did say this is the only socially acceptable way.
But the first step "The more people you talk to" has to be through socialization too, not thro cold approaching.
I wanna give you a shocking reality check.
Let me give you a concrete examples:
Last year when I went to Prague for work, and at night we were wandering the old town with my coworkers; and they are from different natioalities : Lebanese, America, English and Czech.
Romance wise, I am the only one who would be considered.... a loser who can't attact women much- because I am the only one among them who isn't in a relationship while them are all in relationship (but their partners weren't with them in this trip).
My lebanese colleague is a very handsome man, very extrovert, he has a very very gorgeous gf, and I knew at least two girls who were chasing him.
The other men with us were married, some are in very senior positions too.
What happened? Well we found out a strip club in an alley, and they dragged me into it - I, the romance-wise loser, literally did nothing inside, I just took a drink and ignored the offers from the bold semi naked women there; one of them gave up and started to talk to me about her family and she told me that I looked nervous, she was right. lol
The romance-winners on the other hand were looking, paid for a lap dance, and my colleague and another one paid for private sessions (it was full sex).
So you see, the "prostitution is for losers who can't attract women" social rule is not applicable to the manosphere- what is worse, they were boasting about what they did to this and that.
I can give you plenty of other examples.
Prostitution and stripping are not exactly dream jobs for most people. I have a feeling if a woman thinks you're a loser for utilizing either, it's because you're helping support a degrading and destructive labor system, not because they're concerned about your love life.
The women at the strip club weren't being bold, they were trying to make a living.
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Good fay
in Bipolar, Tourettes, Schizophrenia, and other Psychological Conditions |
16 Apr 2024, 8:03 pm |
Good news
in Bipolar, Tourettes, Schizophrenia, and other Psychological Conditions |
18 Apr 2024, 10:23 pm |
DND Question: What do I need to know to be a good DM |
12 Mar 2024, 6:38 pm |
Good news
in Bipolar, Tourettes, Schizophrenia, and other Psychological Conditions |
09 Mar 2024, 6:34 pm |