The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
15 Jul 2016, 6:08 am
15 Jul 2016, 11:22 am
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
15 Jul 2016, 1:11 pm
15 Jul 2016, 4:05 pm
I'm not a dominant man, and I do not have leadership skills. I found an opinionated feminist girl who does not let me walk all over her. 
I was studying computer science back then, and so was she.
College classes, voluntary work, summer internships and so on are good places to meet girls for relationships; bars are not. Generally, any place you can make friends you can also meet a girl.
15 Jul 2016, 4:06 pm
15 Jul 2016, 8:42 pm
15 Jul 2016, 8:45 pm
OliveOilMom
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Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 11,447
Location: About 50 miles past the middle of nowhere
16 Jul 2016, 12:09 am
I was studying computer science back then, and so was she.College classes, voluntary work, summer internships and so on are good places to meet girls for relationships; bars are not. Generally, any place you can make friends you can also meet a girl.
Quite an unusual user name for a guy who isn't dominant.
There can be only one!
_________________
I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.
The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com
16 Jul 2016, 5:20 am
I've been researching attraction and seems clear women are attracted to a dominant guy that could care less about what people think of him. I don't see how I can be this guy though because of my Aspergers. I'm sensitive to so many things, a lot of times about what people think of me, and I am afraid of drawing attention to myself. I just feel weak. I'm quiet, not loud. I don't call myself a leader of such in anything and not in a high status job most attractive women seek these men because their dominant and have some sort of social influence.
So this is what I'm worried about. My interest is music and pursuing it but my anxiety is big enough to put myself out there and show people what I'm doing. My belief is I'll be a burden to people around me.
Is this something to lose sleep over? I just don't see how I can be dominant enough and I see myself being clingy and trusting someone too early if I like them.
Bonus question - If I am dating someone when should I tell someone I have Aspergers? I want to be honest with them but this is something I worry about too
In a social hierarchy, there are few dominant people. Most people are not at or near the top of that pyramid, and if you are at the bottom, you should not aim for the top because you will not be happy in a place you were not naturally designed to be. That being said, you were probably not naturally at the bottom, and that is why you are not happy there. You probably had the potential to be somewhere in the middle, but did not get the positive reinforcement you needed as a child to make you feel self secure and assured.
Here is a question for you, why should you have any less of a right to an idea or an opinion than anyone else? You don't have any less of a right. You have the same rights as everyone else. You will also need to accept the fact that no matter what you do, someone will be unhappy with you. This is why it's a loosing scenario to be a people pleaser. You put all of your energy into trying to please people, and in the end, not everyone is pleased. You could have saved yourself the energy and come out with the same outcome. In fact, if you didn't try so hard to please everyone all of the time, more people might actually like and respect you, because people pleasers come across as socially unreliable people who will not stand for their principals in trying situations.
The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
16 Jul 2016, 6:22 am
16 Jul 2016, 6:25 am
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
16 Jul 2016, 6:32 am
16 Jul 2016, 9:14 am
16 Jul 2016, 2:20 pm
I'm an American female and I can say that I am very turned-off by overtly dominant men. AND everyone I know is in an exclusive relationship (married or just partnered, age ranges from 26-70).
I prefer the quiet "shy guy" who has brains, interests outside of sports, and can hold his own in a one-on-one conversation versus the stereotypical chest-pumping pissing contests that occur when NT guys vie for a high-status (i.e., conventionally pretty & outgoing) NT girl.
There are many others out there like me. We hide in bookstores, coffee shops, grocery stores, movie theaters (usually with other female friends), and brick & mortar purveyors of items related to our special interests.
16 Jul 2016, 3:04 pm
I was studying computer science back then, and so was she.College classes, voluntary work, summer internships and so on are good places to meet girls for relationships; bars are not. Generally, any place you can make friends you can also meet a girl.
Quite an unusual user name for a guy who isn't dominant.
There can be only one!
That one turned out to be Connor McLeod.
16 Jul 2016, 3:10 pm
