SilentJessica
Velociraptor
Joined: 15 Aug 2016
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 405
Location: Melbourne, Australia
15 Aug 2016, 3:53 am
I have had it since I was four, but I wasn't diagnosed until 2014. The only people I can talk to are my parents and my two sisters, and only when we are home or in the car (places where no one can hear me).
It is like I have rules of who I can let hear my voice, and those rules have gotten stricter as I've gotten older. I want to cry if I think anyone has heard me other than my parents or sisters. If I can hear myself breathing in a video, I will edit the sound out before posting it on YouTube.
Being in public is hard for me. I can't say anything at all (even to family) which makes me wonder what people must be thinking of me when I can't say things like "thanks" and "hi".
I can't say names, either. It's the same with certain words, especially if I don't like the sound of them. I have read that it's a common part of it.
It is always nice to find out I'm not the only one who has it. 
15 Aug 2016, 11:48 am
It is like I have rules of who I can let hear my voice, and those rules have gotten stricter as I've gotten older. I want to cry if I think anyone has heard me other than my parents or sisters. If I can hear myself breathing in a video, I will edit the sound out before posting it on YouTube.
Being in public is hard for me. I can't say anything at all (even to family) which makes me wonder what people must be thinking of me when I can't say things like "thanks" and "hi".
I can't say names, either. It's the same with certain words, especially if I don't like the sound of them. I have read that it's a common part of it.
It is always nice to find out I'm not the only one who has it.
I have rules too, still. I can't control them; but certainly they control me. It's awful. Have you heard of a site called iSpeak? It's a UK-based site but I hope it will be of some help to you. The founder Carl wrote an article about his experience with SM: http://www.ispeak.org.uk/Rethink.aspx
Some names I struggle with but I tend not to address people by them if I can. I even struggle to say 'mum', think I've said it maybe a handful of times in my life. I think I heard that too, about it being common, but I can't remember if that was in relation to SM or autism...
Yes, always nice to know we're not alone. Thank you for sharing your story.
SilentJessica
Velociraptor
Joined: 15 Aug 2016
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 405
Location: Melbourne, Australia
16 Aug 2016, 3:23 am
It is like I have rules of who I can let hear my voice, and those rules have gotten stricter as I've gotten older. I want to cry if I think anyone has heard me other than my parents or sisters. If I can hear myself breathing in a video, I will edit the sound out before posting it on YouTube.
Being in public is hard for me. I can't say anything at all (even to family) which makes me wonder what people must be thinking of me when I can't say things like "thanks" and "hi".
I can't say names, either. It's the same with certain words, especially if I don't like the sound of them. I have read that it's a common part of it.
It is always nice to find out I'm not the only one who has it.
I have rules too, still. I can't control them; but certainly they control me. It's awful. Have you heard of a site called iSpeak? It's a UK-based site but I hope it will be of some help to you. The founder Carl wrote an article about his experience with SM: http://www.ispeak.org.uk/Rethink.aspx
Some names I struggle with but I tend not to address people by them if I can. I even struggle to say 'mum', think I've said it maybe a handful of times in my life. I think I heard that too, about it being common, but I can't remember if that was in relation to SM or autism...
Yes, always nice to know we're not alone. Thank you for sharing your story.
It's like it would be a really bad crime if a rule was broken, so it is like they are controlling us. I have heard of that website, but I haven't seen the article. Thanks for that.
16 Aug 2016, 7:51 am
You're welcome.
AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 70,190
Location: Portland, Oregon
19 Aug 2016, 2:47 pm
19 Aug 2016, 3:14 pm
That's good.
AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 70,190
Location: Portland, Oregon
20 Aug 2016, 12:35 pm
That's good.
However, my sister believes selective mutism is actually a choice, not a condition.
20 Aug 2016, 12:50 pm
That's good.
However, my sister believes selective mutism is actually a choice, not a condition.
A lot of people think that. I think my mother still might think that despite me showing her this http://www.ispeak.org.uk/Movie1.aspx twice.
SilentJessica
Velociraptor
Joined: 15 Aug 2016
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 405
Location: Melbourne, Australia
21 Aug 2016, 6:34 am
My family are the same. 
They say "this is getting ridiculous now. It's going on for too long", and remind me of the little kids who overcome theirs. I think they forget that it's harder when you're older and it's something you don't have control over because after all this time, it's who you are naturally, which means it's not a choice.
21 Aug 2016, 7:45 am
They say "this is getting ridiculous now. It's going on for too long", and remind me of the little kids who overcome theirs. I think they forget that it's harder when you're older and it's something you don't have control over because after all this time, it's who you are naturally, which means it's not a choice.I was told 'others have it worse' by my mother — and she knows exactly how many family members and famil friends I'm capable of speaking to (very, very few). Just because I've gotten better over the years doesn't mean I'm free of it; I wish she'd understand that.
