Aspergers but good at reading people. Intense world theory

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I'm Aspie but I am good at reading body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, emotions, intentions, jokes, and lots of other things like that what most Aspies are supposed to struggle with. This is why I often doubt my AS diagnosis, because a lot of it, or probably all of it, feels natural, I did not ''train myself'' to recognise these things.

And I don't just ''think'' I can do these things. I hate it when other Aspies say ''oh you probably think you can read body language in people and all that, but you really can't''. It is really unacceptable to say that, because I know I am good at this, I can proven to myself and to others that I am, plenty of times. So saying something like that to someone who knows they have a natural skill is quite rude in my opinion.

I spend so much time on WP, that I started to realize my instinctive social skills, by analyzing situations where I had naturally recognised a subtle social cue. Before I joined WP, I didn't even know that Aspies struggle with reading non-verbal social things. It's only until I came here is when I started realizing what I can and can't do socially.

I'm skeptical of the idea that all people diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder truly have the same disorder. The only thing I can truly pin down is that I am different. It's hard to distinguish whether social deficits come from actual cognitive disability or simply lack of interest in certain social activities where interest comes naturally to NTs. For me it seems like it's the latter. I do fine on tests, but in reality I'm mostly lost in my own head when I'm around others. I just don't relate easily. I have social anhedonia. I sometimes think I'm just emotionally dead. Probably my oxytocin and dopamine levels don't go up when I'm around people chatting (though they do around animals).

I think its fairly clear, in both personal story and the latest science, that what we now label as autism is really several problems with similar symptoms. For example, you and I both have the auditory processing sub-type, based on your post here. And other people on wrongplanet have an apraxic sub-type- they can't identify or process emotions typically and end up rather "unemotional." I third subtype would have more visual problems. Etc...

Yea. I didn't realize most people can actually hear what others are saying at parties where everyone is talking at once. It just sounds like garbled noise to me.

I have the additional problem of not knowing whether my social anhedonia is due to autism or my chronic depression. I don't recall being so non-social before my teenage years. It seems like something changed in me emotionally. I don't feel it was caused by anything psychological though. It seems like I was just programmed to become socially numb. I think a big difference is the fact that adults stand around talking while younger children play. I relate better to children actually. I prefer to be doing something with people. I don't understand parties. I don't understand standing around drinking and chatting about nothing in particular. It's just emotionally dead to me.

I feel I don't really have the social deficits other Aspies typically have. I'm just socially awkward. Like I have trouble with social courage, like my voice can sometimes be too quiet so I think that I'm not going to be heard so I don't say anything at all, just utter a quick response instead. Also I sometimes have the urge to say things that are "different", maybe what a child would say or ask, because I find that much more fun, but then I worry that will make people think I'm stupid. So I'm awkward in lots of little ways, in very subtle ways.

Thank you all for your replies. I think I may very well be on the spectrum... I've always been naturally good at reading people and empathic, but I get overstimulated by things so easily, I find it difficult to change routines, get obsessive, have prosopognosia (difficulty recognising faces), am bad at making appropriate facial expressions. I just feel certain I am, but that autism still isn't well understood at present.

I'm sure if I were a child now I'd almost definitely be diagnosed. I'm amazed really they didn't pick up on me. I'd have meltdowns all the time, go for so long without speaking, have trouble keeping friends, was an overachiever while being incredibly socially naive (though I think I could read people. Just they were illogical... I could read people who made sense. Maybe I wasn't so good at reading most people...) and had so many identity alterations, because I had no idea who I was supposed to be. I only knew that who I was was unacceptable.

Hmm, I don't know.

That's interesting. Is there a publication about the subtypes?
I believe I am in the auditory processing sub-type too because my auditory processing is poor. I can't understand what people say in noisy environments and speaking through a phone is a pain for me.
And I am actually quite expressive although I don't always show the correct emotions on my face, especially when I am feeling strong emotion (for example when I am anxious I seem happy and when I am deeply focused I seem bored) .
I use body language when I talk because it's easier than making additional sounds and I wish people used theatrical body language as addition to speaking too (You want a something you can use to write? Tap your finger at the form paper you want to fill while you ask if I have a pencil or something so I get a clue - is it that hard?).

Its a theory. It has practical applications in education, where you really can't group all the autistic kids together and expect them to respond the same way. I don't know if its actually been studied, but I'll pass it on if I remember where I heard that.

TBH, its entirely possible that its my idea, and that I'm only imagining that I remember reading it.

Always being naturally good at reading people is strong evidence against having autism.

I have to say when it comes to my reading people, I meant literally reading them. When someone writes stuff, I can sometimes draw a conclusion that they are funny, nice or a jerk etc. When It comes to reading people in person, like reading their body language or whatever, forget it. I can only tell very obvious things.

Like if someone is smiling and laughing, I can tell they are happy. But I do not have any intuitive way of reading people, like knowing if someone is faking being happy by smiling and laughing. I watched a YouTube clip of the Jimmy Fallon show and in the comments some where saying how fake his laughing at what the guest had to say was. But I could not tell that at all and have no idea how they can.

I am very slow at reading people. My first impressions of them are usually wrong. A lot of NT's get a good impression of other people within the first 5 minutes of meeting them. It can take months or even years before I have a good idea.

I believe that the talent of reading people, having a well developed sense empathy and compassion, are rare in this world. For evidence, just look at all the turmoil that we face, wars, hate, abuse, divorce, crime, politics, ....

My skills in this area are way below average. But, average ain't that good

I absolutely agree with you. I think having a well developed sense of empathy could actually cause problems for individuals, because they will be inundated with all the information that comes to them - an information overload that could result in symptoms like autism.

And everyone is constantly failing to understand, and being horrible to others. Of course there are reasons for this, but it becomes draining, constantly seeing everyone ignoring all the perspectives. It makes you want to withdraw, and even block out all this information, and then you can just start taking in nothing...

When it comes to "reading" people I do better to just keep my trust of humanity to a minimum.