How can I become more positive?

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I'm feeling very negative lately. I don't have any friends to hang with right now,no job or ways to reliably get around, no girlfriend. I don't have anything going for me in life now.

People keep telling me to just be positive, but how does that work?

Working towards the things you mentioned is positive.

Yeah, just being positive isn't as easy as some people make it out to be. You can of course try to avoid negative thoughts and try to shift them to something more positive. You have some control about how you view things but you don't have unlimited control about it and if you manage to change your attitude that's a slow process.
Besides, if things aren't going well there's nothing wrong with acknowledging that - within reason.

Monotony and inactivity often make room for negative thoughts. If that's the case for you try to do something, anything really, to shift your attention away from the negativity.

People probably keep telling you to be positive because it's easier to solve problems and get out of a less than favourable situation with a positive attitude. Depression can eat up all motivation for change.

It's hard to tell you to "just be positive". You can't "just be positive". You have to actually have help from someone or be able to figure out the situation on your own.

My advice would be to think of this as a time to get to know yourself better. You have nothing else to worry about, nowhere you need to be, and there is no one you have to contact—Except possibly family. Take this as an opportunity to learn about your own interests.

Whatever you consider to be fun, just relax and embrace your hobbies. Some people draw, some people write, some people like to go hiking in the forest... There's all kinds of things that you can do. Go to a hobby store. Check out their projects. Get something cheap that you would enjoy. When you're not doing anything at home, pull out the project and get into it.

Basically, you need to find some way to entertain yourself in the meantime.

I wish I could learn how to write things like a story or blog, but I never had any real writing experience, let alone I don't read a lot much.

Excellent question IMO, though there might not be any objective answer. All I can suggest is to consciously try to avoid getting too morbid when thinking, and to try to focus more on goals that seem as if they could make you happier. I think we all have some control over our own positivity / negativity, but I think that's only true to a degree. I have a somewhat cynical, negative disposition which I suppose I inherited from my upbringing, and although I've been able to rise above it to some extent at times, I always revert to type in the end, and I very much doubt that I'll ever be able to become Mr. Chuckles. I think it's important not to try too hard to be positive - I gather one Zen student remarked, on attaining enlightenment, "Now that I've given up all hope, I feel much better." I wouldn't put it that strongly myself, but I think I know what he meant.

There's a thing called the Paradox of Hedonism, i.e. in many ways, the more we directly strive to be happy and positive, the more we fail to attain it. Happiness seems more like a by-product of other activities which just doesn't come to order. I've noticed that I'm at my happiest when I'm pleasantly surprised by an event or observation, or when it becomes better (e.g. if the price of something I regularly buy goes down), so I guess there's something dynamic about it. It's like what somebody once said abut freedom - "to be free is nothing, but to become free is everything."

I like to think that there are some things that help to keep me generally happy. One is the presence in my life of good friends, i.e. people who I can easily relate to and who relate easily to me, people with whom it's relatively easy to operate a mutual emotional support thing. I've also noticed that I tend to absorb the emotions of those around me, so it probably helps to gravitate towards those who have a positive disposition, if they're able to express it without seeming fake. Another is having something to do that I'm deeply interested in, something that I can gradually become better at by diligent practice. And not to be underrated is physical comfort - reasonable freedom from pain, irritation, cold etc. Also there's psychological comfort - I'm happier when I manage my anxieties well, which I do by keeping any risks I perceive down to reasonable levels by practical strategies.

K_Kelly, it is often said that it's mentally healthy to avoid negative people and stick to positive ones. But I'm not sure if you are in a position to do so. You've described some interactions with your father that make you uneasy. I do not know if the tone of people in your world is more negative or positive.

Working towards some goals and taking satisfaction in progress is uplifting towards some people. If your family is conducive, perhaps working with them towards some things (you've mentioned learning to cook as one) will give you new pleasure. If your family is not helpful in this regard, then getting some more positive people in your life is a start.