Angry you were born?

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Have any of you been angry you were born? I have i feel been through so much that I get angry at my parents for having me my father died when i was 4 years old a week before my 5th birthday of skin cancer, he had everything to live for but my life has been hell but i'm still here! any of you guys ever been angry with y parents for having you?

I'm angry I developed an ASD, although I'm not necessarily angry I was born.

Others don't know how lucky they are!

Versus what? Being aborted? There are a lot of things to be angry at my parents about but being born doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

I sorry that you lost your father so early in life, it must of been very difficult.

na i mean mad that they ever met, we all know being autistic is one of the most difficult lives a person can live , sometimes i think never being born would be better than this , if i was aborted i would be in heaven now!

No, I've never been angry that I was born.

I'm not angry that I've been born. I'm autistic and I'm happy to be alive. I'm angry about the way that my family members spoke to me in the past like I'm an idiot, but I'm not angry that I was born.

Not angry i was born. Pissed off at the card i been dealt. And i made the choice early that i didnt want my own biological kids cause i didnt want to give s**t to them.

Even though it does make me sad sometimes that i dont have kids

I might be angry that I was born if I lived in Syria.

Seeing all the problem that this world has. I'd wished I'd never been born at all(autistic or not.). Just remember that you're not the only person in this world that has problems, even though it may feel like that. Take a look around. They're are people in much worst situations then you are. Just learn to be content.

This is a standard of my meltdown routine. Something happens (Inconceivable! ) that I thought I had plan of action to solve or I didn't plan for at all. I get angry and then go through a brief history of previous inconceivables and outrageously unfair things that have happened to me. I wish I was dead, then wish I never even existed, I do that in my head until I short out (literally fall asleep). After, I've calmed down, I am not that happy about what happened. I actually like myself but in the affect of a meltdown I'm just not very reasonable. I came to this site to try to figure out what to do about this. I was actually hoping for an incantation.

I see it this way life is short we're all going to die anyway.


Doesn't matter if you're born or not we're going to return to nothingness sooner than any of us think.


"Angry that I was born?"

Hmm...maybe, I think I'm angry that people act like it's my fault I'm the way that I am and that I'm the one messing up their lives.

That's what I'm angry about.

I get when people try to use the "it could be worse." Thing but I'm not worried about other people the only thing I can see is through my own eyes and my own problems..

Selfish?

Probably..

Am I angry that I was born?

No, and if I hadn't been born I wouldn't even have the opportunity to be angry or otherwise.

Am I angry with my parents for having me?

No, they might have chosen what colour booties to put on me when I was a baby but they didn't choose for me to have autism, that's hardly their fault, so how could I in all fairness hold them responsible for it?

Last edited by Jute on 13 Sep 2016, 2:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I have spent much of my upper teens and adulthood feeling this way and steeping in suicidal thoughts. Many people feel this way whose depression is not secondary to ASD. Everyone who's alive enough to be posting on forums, though, has found at least one reason not to end a life they'd rather do without, even if that is intensively still the case. Ironically enough, in my own experience, it has been exactly the fact that I was born that has stayed my hand from suicide. From my parents' (and their doctors') perspective, I was a miracle baby. In fact, when my mother's water broke in only the fourth month, some doctors' opinion was that an abortion was the only possibility. My mother chose to risk it, even with my chances of survival, and to a certain degree her own, being very low, and in the face of a long list of threatened birth defects. After I was born my parents traveled an hour to the hospital every day for a month to be at my side. Some people suggested that my mother didn't have the right to risk her life with my older sister to consider. But who am I to say that none of it should have happened? Who am I to tell my mother that she never should have put herself through what she has made emphatically clear she would do again in a heartbeat? Who am I to trivialize the joy they felt at life beating the odds every step of the way? If any of you were to meet me face to face, would any of you look at me squarely and say I should have never been born? I do have a child of my own, and he does have ASD like I do, but the joy that he has brought even complete strangers is more than I have ever considered myself likely to experience in life. I do still struggle, of course, and it has not been long at all since my last feeling that it would be easier if I were not alive, but I always come round to the same answer eventually. I hope you can, too.

I wouldn't say it was anger - more like pity, sorrow.
When I were a young teenager I used to think "People like me and people with disabilities should be killed as soon as it is clear there is anything wrong with them because they are only a burden to their families" and I wished I was be killed before I knew the pain of being different.
But I don't think so anymore. I believe I have a lot to offer to the world. As long as I get the chance.
Instead of being killed in early childhood I wish I could just get the help I need in order to be useful to the world.

My son is 7 and on the spectrum.. I really identify as I think I'm part-way there too, but there is a thing I can see in him, he gets really really angry.. and I know it's because the world is too instense sometimes, he cannot cope with it. He gets angry with me and the other day said 'I HATE you, I wish you were DEAD!'.. I mean, don't get me wrong, he's 7, everyone hates their mother sometimes, most natural

I understand where he's coming from. and I know it was his painful school experiences that set him off (it showed him at a tender age that the world, and other people, are not safe or kind), I asked him if there was any other mummy he reckons might be better than me, and he looked really thoughtful and said 'no, no-one would be better'. I find it's better, and healthier, for him to blame me than himself., frankly! But there are signs that with constant support (now homeschooling, which is great and getting better all the time), and true close friends, he's healing gradually.

The reason he feels so much pain- yes he is ultra-sensitive, ultra-imaginative, ultra-empathetic, but that's not it unless you've suffered- is because he suffered, at the hands of others, and he internalised it. He was too little to recognise and process this unbearable emotion.

i'm not saying it's their fault(i'd have to include myself), I don't believe in blame really, but I totally understand anger.
i get that.

Yes, yes yes to that!