I think I've found her

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I understand OP's frustration.

People with Asperger's and disabilities can find it particularly hard to meet other people, let alone form a stable friendship group with 3-6 members, in any and all stages of life.

This has been my dream regarding a social life - an S.O. and a small close circle friend group, but I have never been able to achieve it.

I've been a part of groups as an acquaintance, but never as strongly a part of the group as the others, and many people even newer than me would fit in better and surpass me in their level of friendship with the others.

In recent times most of my friendships have been individual/one-on-one and scattered.

I might be friends with 2 people of one friendship group and 1 of another, and maybe even if I'm only friends with 1 person in a 5 person group, I'd be acquaintances/known to the others, or have friends who all live in different cities but I still talk to them online and see them rarely.

I definitely seem to prefer it this way.

One on one my social skills are perfectly fine, dare I say on the level of N.T.

Maybe it was just I was too different from my acquaintances in high school, but I could never truly connect with them the way I wanted to.

The largest friendship groups I've had began when I got to know them individually, and we eventually merged from separate friendships into one cohesive social group, the largest of which was in primary/elementary school with about 7 people.

This is of course only possible when all future members of the group share the same workplace, school, community group, etc.

"Doesn't want a life"?

It's completely possible to only have a relationship and no friends, and for some if not many of us this may be our only option if making friends is too hard.

Unfortunately it seems only a minority of men and women would date someone who 'has no friends'.

Personally I do have friends, but they all live in different cities so I don't see them on a regular basis anymore, have no way to meet others anymore, and the Asperger's/Anxiety affects my ability to make friends.

It is unfortunate friendless NEETs are judged so harshly when they very well may be making an effort.

In the past I volunteered but there was no one anywhere close to my age, I also went to a social group for males with disabilities and was also the youngest by several years.

Perhaps things will get better when I am a young adult but at many of these places there weren't even adults under 30, most were middle-aged and elderly married men and women.

In the near-future I could be volunteering at the local library, which accepts ages 15 minimum, so maybe I could finally meet a young girl/woman aged 17-24 or something, for once. Because I almost never meet or see them anywhere.

Seriously, where the heck do all the young people go? What do they do? I guess it's all university and their job for them that they meet other young people.

Where's that leave the disabled NEETs?

Also, many people, especially Aspies, should never 'stop looking' for love because this results in not getting it at all.

Some have to actively make an effort to meet and expose themselves to anyone close to their age of the opposite sex, or else they will meet none.

Having a group of friends to go places with doesn't even guarantee meeting women, because what if you're a nerdy/geeky/aspie male and ALL your friends are males in the exact same position as you? Lonely NEETs?

The best you could do is always be going out to places with them, but many aspie men tend to dislike bars and nightclubs, some women aren't interested in meeting men here, and these aren't always the best places to meet decent men and women anyway.

Where does that leave you?

Many people today keep to themselves at the gym and don't want to be bothered.

Your options are the beach, going to social events and groups individually or tag-teaming with your friends.

But going to most places and events alone gets very boring, very old real fast, so it's best to go to these places with others.

I have Agoraphobia/a fear of leaving the house, so I can NOT go anywhere alone anyway until I overcome it.

Even then, it is not guaranteed I will cross path with ANYONE even close to my age (this applies to anyone, not just me) and may end up only coming across families/the same sex/elderly when say going for walks or bike rides around the neighborhood or to the nearby shops.

But if you have no friends nearby, the only people you could go with are family.

This would also apply to young girls and women your age in the same position, so they would also only ever leave the house to go to events with family.

So, unless you can both manage to get away from your family and happen to cross paths or one approaches the other when you're both alone, it's far too awkward and inappropriate to approach teenage/young adult women to speak to and get to know in public if she's with family.

In conclusion:

Every shy/anxiety/quiet/reserved/introverted people with Asperger's or social anxiety rarely leave the house so they can't meet others the same way, they only ever leave the house with family and are rarely away from them.

Online dating is difficult and pointless, and believe it or not not every person with Asperger's here actually likes it.

Even online it can be difficult to find people in your area who are ND/anxiety/aspergers/ADHD/whatever/etc.

I personally can't stand online dating and hate chatting to strangers behind a screen. I'd rather see their face, smile, etc. and prefer quick-time/back and forth conversation rather than the more slow messaging.

Good luck but be careful about thinking you can "fix" people. Depression can be a serious and lifelong illness and though there are treatments, there's no cure.