Very depressed over looking much, much younger than my age

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bethannny
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28 Sep 2016, 11:57 pm

I will be 27 in December but facially look 15 years old. I don't mean this as an exaggeration or personal observation I mean since 2005 my face has stayed exactly the same.

This has a "profound" affect on my life and has created several awkward and depressing situations for myself as well as other people (I can not even begin to describe it). I feel as though I'm reliving my teenage years on a perpetual loop because of this and I have never had the opportunity to be treated as an adult.

The way people treat me - so much condescension, you would not believe.



kraftiekortie
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29 Sep 2016, 12:03 am

You'll look great when you're 50. Think of it this way.



Twilightprincess
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29 Sep 2016, 7:27 am

I've had this same problem. Once when I ordered a glass of wine at a restaurant the server wouldn't let me have it. Since I look so young, she was certain my I.D. was a fake one!



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29 Sep 2016, 7:35 am

Maybe try getting a hairdo that makes you look a little older - usually longer hair makes you look young. And possibly use some makeup - more will make you look older or I guess more "experienced", if that is the right word.


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kraftiekortie
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29 Sep 2016, 7:57 am

Seriously....I understand what you're going through. I looked young for my age for a long time.

But I do long for those days when I looked young, and not gray!



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29 Sep 2016, 12:46 pm

I was exactly the same at 27 -- I think I may have looked even younger, like 14. And I believe you sincerely about the level of condescension; it can be extreme and very rude, because people are mistaking you for a child they don't have to treat with the same respect they accord an assumed peer and equal.

I was so tortured by being mistake for a kid at 27 that I even wrote to a newspaper agony column -- we didn't have internet then, it was all in print, the "problem page." They didn't reply of course. People probably think it's a stupid thing to consider a problem but it actually does have constant negative impact on how seriously you are taken in encounters both trivial and serious.

A shorter haircut instead of long hair can go a long way to aging-up a woman's appearance; I second NurseAngela.

Also makeup, and "business attire" type of clothing rather than youthful jeans and Ts.

It's unfortunate to have to choose appearance changers that one might not even like much; I haven't been able to bring myself to make those changes because I just look awful never mind older. But if you can stand to take those options it might help with people who are looking at you and mistaking what they see.


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lostonearth35
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19 Oct 2016, 11:49 am

Even when I was a teenager I did NOT want to look older that I was. I wanted to look my age or even like a kid because then my still being into "kid things" might have been acceptable. Am I the only one who did?

I'm 42 now, so it's very flattering when anyone says I look young. One time when I was grocery shopping an older lady asked me which of the anti-aging creams and gunk on display did I think was best. I told her I didn't have a clue because I didn't use any of them. She told me she "but you look so young!" :)



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24 Oct 2016, 10:00 pm

I look quite a bit younger than I am [which is generally young!], but I'm also so androgynous that people often have trouble figuring out what gender I am. I often want to tell them that I am simply a winged rainbow crystal angel fairy space kitty! :D


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18 Dec 2016, 7:22 pm

I find it awesome to look much younger than my age. I match right in with the school kids. I'm told I look 14/15 y/o. Many people and other kids around me think I'm in middle or high school. A few times I've been called a boy. which to me is a compliment.



purpletoupee
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19 Dec 2016, 6:41 pm

Hi, I have the same issue.

It has affected me massively and I get so angry and wound up about it, as sometimes I feel like I get treated like some kind of woman-child freak of nature. Not everyone is rude about it, obviously, but some people think it grants them some kind of automatic superiority and lets just say it winds me up. :wink: A lot of it is my own ruminations and paranoia but it really has affected how people treat me and what opportunities I have (or rather haven't) been given. And in the one proper relationship I've had, I've had strangers actually shout out and call what was my lovely partner a "paedo". It's sort of funny, I guess, when it's not your actual life. It does mess with your head. I think when you fully realise that other people are just confused and that you are an adult with just as much right to life an adult life as anyone else that can improve things. I think when we can challenge people and know ourselves others shut up right away. I'm not saying I'm at this point myself, but I think I've pretty much got to it in my head. I don't know if this is the case for you, but I think we end up putting restrictions on ourselves with these sorts of things. :heart:



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20 Dec 2016, 12:48 pm

Sorry to hear that. People can be such idiots. I used to endure something similar, but not so much anymore since I switched my hair around and don't dress in things that swamp my figure. Back in college, when I did briefly have friends to visit, (usually we'd turn up at one of their houses, then move on to the pub) it wasn't uncommon for their mothers to pointedly look me over, then tell their child off for even thinking about taking an underage girl to a place of drink... Luckily after a time they were all educated that I was in fact not underage, just very gangly and skinny.
Incidentally my older brother told me once that he'd become so sick of being ID'd by pub staff thinking he too was under 18, he grew a full beard - the illusion of youth was apparently broken. :D Men have the advantage of facial hair, at least.


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20 Dec 2016, 12:58 pm

I know this feeling because it used to do my head in when I was younger but I was immature in my behaviour as well.

My daughter is exactly the same. She's 24 and easily looks 10 years younger but she acts older.

I don't think there's much you can do about it really except carry ID about in case you might need it.


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21 Dec 2016, 7:12 pm

I had the same problem - and it is a problem in workplaces where age and experience are valued - until my grey hairs started coming in. (Maybe you can get a few white/grey highlights along with trying some of the other hair & clothing suggestions posted?)



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21 Dec 2016, 10:55 pm

I'm short (5' 1") and look young for my age. I do have to visit the hairdresser once a month to cover my gray hair.



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01 Feb 2017, 11:59 pm

bethannny wrote:
I will be 27 in December but facially look 15 years old. I don't mean this as an exaggeration or personal observation I mean since 2005 my face has stayed exactly the same.

This has a "profound" affect on my life and has created several awkward and depressing situations for myself as well as other people (I can not even begin to describe it). I feel as though I'm reliving my teenage years on a perpetual loop because of this and I have never had the opportunity to be treated as an adult.

The way people treat me - so much condescension, you would not believe.


Could you possibly have an endocrine condition such as panhypopituitaryism?



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02 Feb 2017, 12:23 am

I agree with Kraftie; you will be glad when you get older to be thought of as younger than you are. I'll be 61 this month and I'm pleased to say that people still say that.