How would you feel if this old geezer........
postpaleo
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Joined: 21 Feb 2007
Age: 74
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,134
Location: North Mirage, Pennsyltucky
See I'm 56 and the neighbor walks by the front of the house and I had borrowed a hammer and I would like to give it back and.. so on. Through a little small talk he asked me how I was and I said feeling much better, that I think I was on a good med now and thought that AS was probably what I had and was misDXed, I mentioned AS and he goes wow. That's what they changed his sons DX to. I went wow too only I didn't say it out loud. Here's the deal, "typical" NT dad doesn't understand yells at (won't use his name) M all his life, has trouble in school, likes knights and sifi and anime (dad can't understand that), worries he'll never have freinds, can't find a girlfriend and you know the story. M lives away from home, alone, but not to far and I know where. Doesn't go out of the house, might have a freind, his computer is broke and well it's not good, at least it doesn't sound good to me. M is about 19. I have my own issues, but..... How would you guys feel if the old geezer from next door knocked on your door and wanted to talk a little. Maybe even invite him to come play on his computer, I have 2 of them. have a ton of games I know he's like. Introduce him to you guys. It's not like I want to take this on a full time basis, like I said I have my own issues I need to attend to. Not like I want to take over his fathers and mothers place, but honestly as I think back on what I saw from just being a neighbor, M has had it rough. Not that we all didn't in one way or the other. I do know him and he knows me, not like we're strangers and he has been to my house before. How would you feel about a guy just sort of knocked on your door and saying hi, I have AS too?
I just don't know what to do. I'm pretty much a hermit and pretty much like it that way. I know I could handle it for a while, but over time, pretty sure my space would feel invaded. Little worried he might bond, which is fine, but maybe you can see my concern. Or, lol, maybe I'm just being aspie and worrying too much about what hasn't even happened. Need help here guys. Need to see it from your side.
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Just enjoy what you do, as best you can, and let the dog out once in a while.
yeah well, there is nothing wrong with spending a bit of company with him.
Dunno about going around to his house, it might seem a bit much, but i don't know how well you know him.
How about giving him a phone call; or you could mention this place to his dad. Say you are willing to have a little chat with him anytime he wants. Something like that.
You don't want to come across as some sort of weirdo pervert. I dunno, it depends how well you get on with these people i guess.
Perhaps you could write to him. Then it might be more comfortable not having to talk face to face. You could explain that you have Asperger's syndrome too and if he would like to talk or needs advice he can come to you or perhaps write a letter back. Also, I would definitely tell him about WP, but seeing as his computer is broke, do tell him that he can use your's. Like Kosmonaut said, you don't want to come off as some kind of pervert. If you write a letter, that might let him know that he can feel free to just talk to you if need be and you can both keep your distance if you both like. You don't want him to feel pressured into having to socialize face to face right away.
postpaleo
Veteran

Joined: 21 Feb 2007
Age: 74
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,134
Location: North Mirage, Pennsyltucky
Dunno about going around to his house, it might seem a bit much, but i don't know how well you know him.
How about giving him a phone call; or you could mention this place to his dad. Say you are willing to have a little chat with him anytime he wants. Something like that.
You don't want to come across as some sort of weirdo pervert. I dunno, it depends how well you get on with these people i guess.
Kk, I can fill in a little more then. dad isn't any help, his parents think computers are a waste of time, think that if he just get's outside more it will cure him. His Dad did say that when M is around he'd try to hook us up. Naw he knows me well enough not to think that I'm a perv, he was on good terms with my grandson and they'd be in this house from time to time. I have a distant cousin, that if you believe in high/low fuctioning he would be on the lower side, so it isn't or wouldn't be the first time a fellow aspie has been here. But distant cousin is my age. I am nervous about invading M's space, I just don't want to come on too strong, all this is pretty new to me too and haven't sorted it all out. Think I'll take a chill pill and sleep on it, but please keep it coming, that's exactly the kind of feed back I need.
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Just enjoy what you do, as best you can, and let the dog out once in a while.
This is SUCH a bad idea,I dont even know where to begin....now they will have to rewrite all those theories about people with As being completly self-centered and lacking compassion....DO you realize how inconvenient that is............. (gotcha)
I think this is a great idea.I would love it if someone had reached out to me and exposed me to a resource like this.I know it is hard because you dont necessarily want to "adopt" him and some of us do have "boundary" issues(dont know when to leave)but I think it is worth the risk.We can all use a few more points in our "good karma" account books and you might actually enjoy a friendship of sorts,with him.Maybe inviting him over when the grandson is around?
I know this kind of "reaching out" was ver important for me when I was getting sober...it feels good to try and help others and if it doesnt go exactly as planned(ie,he ends up being to shy to come over),you have at least made the effort and he will remember that (and so will you)...it's a "win/win",I think.
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postpaleo
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Joined: 21 Feb 2007
Age: 74
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,134
Location: North Mirage, Pennsyltucky

I think this is a great idea.I would love it if someone had reached out to me and exposed me to a resource like this.I know it is hard because you dont necessarily want to "adopt" him and some of us do have "boundary" issues(dont know when to leave)but I think it is worth the risk.We can all use a few more points in our "good karma" account books and you might actually enjoy a friendship of sorts,with him.Maybe inviting him over when the grandson is around?
I know this kind of "reaching out" was ver important for me when I was getting sober...it feels good to try and help others and if it doesnt go exactly as planned(ie,he ends up being to shy to come over),you have at least made the effort and he will remember that (and so will you)...it's a "win/win",I think.
Lol, you only think you got me. I'm faster then that, well maybe not, these legs don't go as well as they once did. I see you watch My Name is Earl, too. One of the very few shows on TV I consider good.
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Just enjoy what you do, as best you can, and let the dog out once in a while.
postpaleo
Veteran

Joined: 21 Feb 2007
Age: 74
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,134
Location: North Mirage, Pennsyltucky
Thanks all for the feed back. I believe I will hold off a bit before I attempt. Going to do another med change sometime this month. This should be more stable for some of my issues. I'm thinking this would probably be more of a benifit to try such a thing. I also think I need be aware of what I'm trying to accomplish. Am I just saying hi, you're not alone and this is why. Take him for a little ride (artfully not a lecture deal) through my past with things that he can see make us much the same. Or am I attempting something that would be, well can't really explain it, but it would be a typical thing I would attempt to do. Anyway thinking I need to think on it a bit more, not obsess. I'm going to do it, that's a given.
It would be nice if grandson is around but just got of college with a degree in computer security. has the girl friend thing going, finally, much to his relief. (So that would make M much older then 19, probably 23ish) Lol, there's a kid I did the parenting thing right with. What a pain trying to convince him, when a kid, that playing games with cheat codes was just cheating yourself. Who knew where that one would end up. I'll always call him "Kid", he gets a kick out of and I do too.
Agian thanks for the feed back. As always you guys are great.
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Just enjoy what you do, as best you can, and let the dog out once in a while.
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