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valene92
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03 Oct 2016, 3:33 pm

I was wondering if therapy and sometimes help some people who have aspergers? My ex is extremely insecure of himself and lets his insecurities get in the way of him having healthy relationships with people. Along with his inability to see things from other people's point of view and to empathesize. I'm just wondering can like therapy (CBT) help? Or is this the way some people with aspergers just are



BTDT
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03 Oct 2016, 3:39 pm

I doubt that therapy will help him improve his ability to empathize or see others' point of view.
Depending on your viewpoint, these mental functions are either broken or different--it is what is is.

What will help is to recognize that he is different, and work with that, rather than trying to change him.



nick007
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03 Oct 2016, 6:06 pm

I heard CBT does not work too well with Aspies & other types of therapy work better like ACT & DBT. Each Aspie is different thou. What's really important is that the therapist understands Aspiergers & does not have unrealistic expectations.


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But I don't want to go among mad people, Alice remarked.
Oh, you can't help that, said the Cat: we're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
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Soulsparrer
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03 Oct 2016, 6:09 pm

valene92 wrote:
I was wondering if therapy and sometimes help some people who have aspergers? My ex is extremely insecure of himself and lets his insecurities get in the way of him having healthy relationships with people. Along with his inability to see things from other people's point of view and to empathesize. I'm just wondering can like therapy (CBT) help? Or is this the way some people with aspergers just are

Personally I think him reading fiction or autobiographies (like Winston Churchill's autobiography), or books on communication such as "The Art of Communicating" by Tich Nat Hanh might be of use; not sure about conventional therapy.



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03 Oct 2016, 6:17 pm

I think anyone can change if they work on it. I refuse to believe anyone can't. I think saying "this is the way someone is" is a cop out.

My school counselor who thought my parents were wasting their money with me on a therapist, my mom fired him because he didn't have any faith in me I can get better.


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I have a quilt of labels. I had a language disorder and a speech disorder. Then communication disorder NOS. My other diagnoses have been Language Processing disorder, dyspraxia, SPD, OCD, ADD, Asperger’s, anxiety disorder, adjustment disorder, anorexia nervosa. My mom’s labels of me are: eating disorder, anorexia, social anxiety, PTSD, just being sensitive and having the victim complex when I was a kid. And of course she says I’m normal and says the only thing I had as a child was language. Huh? I must have been a shitty person then and maybe a difficult child I was who had to be labeled because of incompetent school staff and mean kids who didn’t accept differences and because I was trying to be “normal.” :/

My blog: https://mynoneabdlthoughts.wordpress.com/


Alliekit
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03 Oct 2016, 6:18 pm

Therapy helped me to consider others feeling although not necessarily empathise. It taught me to sometimes put a concious effort into considering the other person.

It also help me accept what autism is and help me realise that people don't care as much as you think. I mean in the way that if you trip you think everyone will go home and tell their friends and family when realisticly they forget withing seconds.

It really depends on the person. Perhaps put the suggestion put there and let him decide if he wants to try it?



friedmacguffins
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03 Oct 2016, 6:35 pm

Sometimes, therapists will let their hair down, so to speak. They will try to be candid. Their religious and political biases to show.

When they are being formal or businesslike, I have never once heard anything I disagree with. It's generally good, sound, common sense.

Some patients are rather-oblivious, unformed lumps of clay, aimless and in need of guidance. They will be given tools, which will legitimately improve their life.

Others are set in their ways, knowingly do wrong, and will consider the discussion pedantic.

We're expecting the person in uniform, with all the certificates on the wall, to be a miracle worker. But, I think the client is doing most of the work, in diagnosing his own problems, and implementing the therapist's vision.



Alliekit
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04 Oct 2016, 2:26 am

friedmacguffins wrote:
Sometimes, therapists will let their hair down, so to speak. They will try to be candid. Their religious and political biases to show.

When they are being formal or businesslike, I have never once heard anything I disagree with. It's generally good, sound, common sense.

Some patients are rather-oblivious, unformed lumps of clay, aimless and in need of guidance. They will be given tools, which will legitimately improve their life.

Others are set in their ways, knowingly do wrong, and will consider the discussion pedantic.

We're expecting the person in uniform, with all the certificates on the wall, to be a miracle worker. But, I think the client is doing most of the work, in diagnosing his own problems, and implementing the therapist's vision.


I do believe they are simply someone who might offer you and unbiased view point because of their non relation to you.

Not all of us who have been helped by therapy are 'oblivious lumps of clay'.



friedmacguffins
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04 Oct 2016, 11:55 am

There was a joke about someone, who has to be taught how to shave, on joining the army. I am also reminded of my old tom cat, who used to adopt kittens, and teach them the way of the world. There's a broad spectrum of personalities. Some people literally don't have any opinions, will trust and believe anything you say.

Others are indomitable cynics.

Let's be fair.

What have you taken to heart, without being somewhat flexible.

If your opinions are fixed, the advice-giver is going to be irritating.

Whether or not people are being impartial, there's such a thing as personality conflicts.



Alliekit
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04 Oct 2016, 2:16 pm

friedmacguffins wrote:
There was a joke about someone, who has to be taught how to shave, on joining the army. I am also reminded of my old tom cat, who used to adopt kittens, and teach them the way of the world. There's a broad spectrum of personalities. Some people literally don't have any opinions, will trust and believe anything you say.

Others are indomitable cynics.

Let's be fair.

What have you taken to heart, without being somewhat flexible.

If your opinions are fixed, the advice-giver is going to be irritating.

Whether or not people are being impartial, there's such a thing as personality conflicts.


Clashes of personality are a part of life at the end of the day. I am flexible in my opinions of there if evidence to back them up, to be stubborn and have fixed opinions often stops progression.

Although I realise that you cant change people and some people like to be told what to do but those in the middle may be helped by a little advice.

If people try therapy and it doesn't work then there is no harm done you just stop, if you try it and it helps then great.