Is it ok for someone to say they want a (insert race) boyfri

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I honestly would suspect subtle racism.

I would be insulted---as I'm a white man LOL. This would mean that I'm out!

I don't believe people really should stick to one race---but that's me.

I've liked all races of women in my life.

As long as it doesn't go into exclusivity territory, I don't see an immediate problem with having a racial preference when it comes to romantic relationships.

Just makes her sound really shallow. I wouldn't date a girl who said "I want to try a white guy".

It implies a belief that black guys might be different from white guys. It doesn't really go deep enough to be prejudicial, but it's a strange thing to say. Then again some people say they're really into blondes/tall people/redheads etc., so if it's just an aesthetic preference rather than a racial assumption it's probably OK (just shallow).

I see no problem with it, provided that one's preferences aren't based on stereotypes.

I think it is an okay thing to do/say. Some people do have a distinct preference for a specific look and culture... my oldest daughter, for example, only dates black guys and she is not black. I am a mutt and her father is hispanic and german. My daughter just finds black guys more physically attractive than white guys. She has dated a mexican or two, but she is not big into mexican culture in her day to day life. A lot of our local mexican community is roman catholic and she is not into the aggressive tone the local guys her age are into. She is also a strong, independent young woman and very much not a 'good roman catholic girl'. That surprised one of her mexican boyfriends because most of the roman catholics around here are either mexican, irish or scottish (she does have irish roman catholic family members as well) so they kinda assume she is and then get confused when she says she is not. She does not want children yet so she uses birth control, she does not want to marry at nineteen, and so on. Her rationale has nothing to do with the assumption that black guys have bigger junk. She just happens to take 'tall, dark, and handsome' quite literally and has distinct preferences for the way certain cultures do and do not behave around here.

It might also have something to do with the fact that my spouse is black and that is her impression of a father figure. She always got on better with her step dad than her own father (my ex is an a**hole) and she gets on well with his extended family as well. My children have never seen me date a white guy. For me it's not because of a cultural thing or a skin tone preference. It's because white guys never have much approached me/expressed interest and I'm so pale I damn near glow in the dark. I have had white boyfriends before, but that was back before I had kids.

As for this...

I think having preference is pretty natural because it's what you are attracted to. If you are actively rejecting people you actually are attracted to and enjoy talking to due to their skin tone then it's getting to racism.

Preference is similar to liking blonde girls or short girls. I prefer caucasion or tanned skin tones but have found black men attractive aswell. I also certainly wouldn't refuse to date one

She sounds a bit like she is treating someone's skin colour/race like a novelty for her to play with which just isn't fair

Would seem the same to me as people saying they won't date a certain race.

Been a bunch of women only wanting black men lately on cl

Some of you guys are being pretty ridiculous. Especially the guy who said he was offended that this girl only wants black guys because he's a white guy and that means he's out. Who cares?

I'm Spanish and I've only ever dated white women. I'm only attracted to white women. I find Spanish women unattractive. Does that make me a self-hating spaniard? Even if it does, I really don't care.

I'm not going to apologize for something that I don't even consciously think about and have no rational control over. Sexual attraction is often irrational, not in the traditional sense, but in the sense that it can't really be rationalized.

I can't tell you WHY I find women from other races mostly unattractive, or at least, less attractive than white women, but I do.

I had one girlfriend, who was white, who didn't like dating white guys, and at one point when we were having a fight she ended it with "At least you're not white".

There is nothing wrong with saying you want a (insert race here) boyfriend or girlfriend. You do not need to rationalize, explain, or apologize for your sub-logical mental functions.

Well I don't think it is necessarily healthy to only view some races as attractive. I just don't think it is how attraction works...you'll be attracted to people regardless of race throughout life, perhaps you randomly see more attractive people from one race than another....but for someone to state I don't find (insert race) attractive simply because their race I think that is where the problem is.

Like if someone turned someone down for their race alone I'd think that is racist.

I think your preferences and your reasons in dating are your business and not for anyone else to say what you should/shouldn't do.

That said, there are obvious advantages to only dating folks of same or similar religious/political/ethnic/cultural/racial backgrounds as you. The main advantage is avoiding incompatibilty and conflict. I know I get along best with people with my cultural background. Blacks, for instance, define themselves often by race or skin color, whereas I view the world from (apparently a racist) colorblind perspective. Looking more towards marriage/family, I view long-range relationships as joining two families rather than simply two people. Right or wrong, does this family accept me? Right or wrong, does my family accept her? This is not strictly a race-related issue, but in my case race only serves to complicate matters.

To be clear, I don't judge anyone for dating outside one's own race. It's none of my business. I'm open to casually dating almost anyone regardless of race, just not to LTR's.