advise on dealing with early mid life crisis

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I'm only 32 and I have Aspergers, adhd, borderline personality disorder. Sometimes I feel like garbage and I feel like sometimes I'm living in a tomb constantly. Alot of time for me feels like Halloween. I'm a like fat old spinster witch for the rest of her life who has no partner, children, and I see my sister at Thanksgiving table and her boyfriend says he is thankful he met a hot redhead. The only guy who was interested in me this year was an idiot who took harnessed me and my friend. I'm so freaking jealous of my sister that it seems she might get engaged in the next year and she has more money than me. How do you deal with anger, jealousy, getting older, nagging at other people? I sometimes wish I didn't get my period. I sometimes wish I was a trans woman so I wouldn't get PMS. I sometimes wish I was a cat. I have alot of years of torture ahead of me. I hate being young.

Just as there are up-sides to being in a relationship, there are down-sides too. You should allow yourself to acknowledge the positives and put off feeling miserable for another day.