Life Aspirations, or Lack Thereof

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Is it common for people on the spectrum to, like... Have no future aspirations for where their life should go? I've never had a 'dream job' or felt a 'calling' or anything other than some desires to some day be a parent. Most of my wishes are just learning to cope and not have meltdowns/not shut down all the time...

I wish I could explain this better, but I'm hoping that some peeps here could maybe commiserate. That interview question "where do you see yourself in 5/10 years" is like a nightmare for me because I literally do not have an answer. I don't see myself anywhere but the present or dwelling on the past. :/

I still don’t know what I want to do as far as career… My goals are not even set that high really; at least I don’t think. I just someday want to be able to purchase a 1-bedroom condo and have a nice roadster in the parking garage. The only thing that would change dependent on income, is the luxuries and quality a particular building provides.

But at the moment, I don’t know what I want to do or even how to obtain those dreams. I have ideas, I am just unsure if they would be a good fit or a waste of time. I do know I don’t want to pursue my current career field much longer… So I do freeze up when I interview for jobs and more so outside my current field asking where I see myself. It’s not like I can say not here, I just want less hours so I can explore some options at the local technical college and ultimately leave you.


Edit: Ideally I could just stay home all day, have breakfast watching something on Netflix. Go to the gym once everyone is at work. Come back have lunch and shower. Then maybe enjoy my hobbies till dinner. Shower and back to Netflix till bed.

Just none of that is possible without a job…

I think that a lot of humans go through this experience, autistic or not.

I thought I wanted to be a graphic designer when I was young and even lasted a year on a prestigious course but it wasn't for me. I just sort of ended up where I am after a lot of different jobs and 8 redundancies/sackings and no, I've never had one of those 5|10 year plans. Sometimes I wish I did have an idea what to do when I was 18 but I didn't and it's way too late now. Still, I'm happy. I have two great kids, have been married to the same person for 30 years and have a nice quiet job that fits my talents and doesn't involve deadlines Things could be better (I'm generally knackered by the weekend) but they could also be way worse.

[edit] when I was really young I wanted to be a flour grader.

Last edited by liveandrew on 18 Oct 2016, 1:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

My only aspiration at the moment is to be working in an environment where I can cope. My fear, however, is that no such place exists.

I'm not sure? It feels like so many people when younger know what they want to do "when they grow up", or at least have an idea. I never went to college because the intense spoon-sucking atmosphere is too much to handle without having a clear idea of what I want to do, and I've never had that.

I mean, like, many "lower functioning" people with autism literally don't have 'future thought' because their life is too much of trying to process and/or not be overwhelmed by the present, which makes me wonder if that's something that I'm also dealing with...

I feel like I have no idea of what I'm going to do with my life. I have had dream jobs, but none that were ever attainable because of my disabilities. I'm in college now and I really don't like it and I change my major nearly every semester. I can't find one that suits me. I always tell people that I don't care what I do in the future, but I just want to be happy.

I've never cared much about money, marriage, big house, etc. I always cared more about art or family. I think it's understandable for people to prioritize their health over thinking about where they want their career to be in 5-10 years.

Spoon sucking! hehe

People say they have their s**t together, but inside, they often don't feel that way. They say they know what they want to do, but they don't want to let other people know that they are unsure. Or if they really have no clue, they just keep their mouths shut. Most little kids want to be professional athlets, vetrinarians, and actors. Very, very, very few of them actually go through with it. And I don't know any kids who want to be accountants, but yet, they do exist.

The only difference between ASDers and NTs in this area is our honesty and frankness on the topic. I think we are more likely to let everyone know that we don't have any direction in life, instead of politely muttering some socially acceptable non-sense and changing the conversation topic.

I'm not sure... cross that.... I AM sure that this idea you have about people with intellectual impairment (that's what you meant by lower functioning, right?) isn't actually accurate. They might not be able to tell you about it, but every person I've worked with has had dreams for the future. My first exposure to people with profound special needs were adults who needed help with things like bathing and making sure they didn't choke while they eat. This one guy developed a crush on me and was so sad because I said I wouldn't marry him. He really wanted marriage, family, kids. I've known a lot of them dream of independent living - having their own place. Sometimes their dreams are really "out-there" just like ours. Like, they might want to be a doctor. And sometimes their dreams are simple like owning a cat - just like ours, too.

There are tons of books on this issue, because as I said before, its a very common problem. Two titles I can think of now are "What Color is your Parachute?" and "The Artist's Way." (You don't have to be an actual artist to use it. Its about getting unstuck in life.)

I suspect it is "common" because people with Autism usually are very interested or not interested at all. We don't do well in the large gray area in between. Hence, if you don't find something you are passionate about to pursue as an interest in life, you have nothing.

I only had ONE occupation that I was passionate about, and I was never allowed to have it. Even if in the grand scheme of the universe it was good that it didn't come to pass, NOTHING has taken it's place. I work a job so I have a paycheck. I have given up having a "purpose" in life, and as depressing as that can be, I find it's better to "make my peace" with this reality than live day-to-day blindly hoping that I will wake up one day and find my life purpose.

After all, most humans have dead-end, meaningless lives. Thinking that one is going to be the exception is hubris.

How to answer that 5 year question is incomprehensible to me. Type O Negatives song "Anesthesia" has a line "Longing for the past but dreading the future" and I'm stuck in that loop

I get the feeling that some might have interpreted what I'm asking as having 'no hope' from being disabled or something and I realize that sounds pretty bad and is very ableist way of talk, but I promise that's not what I mean.

For me it seems to be more like, that part of my brain just isn't firing? I think it might be a manifestation of executive dysfunction more than autism itself, I've never been good at making and sticking to plans and that probably has a lot of affect on my ability to think about my place in the future very far. I don't know. Maybe getting my depression under control will help with that. :/