Feeling alone with my husband

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I feel so weak and like I am falling apart. I just want other people in my life who will listen to me and care about my feelings. My husband is stonewalling me and is insisting on continuing with certain behaviors that are freaking me out. He is freaking me out. I think that I have post traumatic stress disorder as I keep on remembering things from my childhood that scared me too. I need to find other people who could give me some support. I have started going back to meetings and am trying to get back on the right path. I just feel so overwhelmed by everything. I'm even considering taking medication if none of this gets any better for me. I live in constant worry and fear.

I was talking with some aspies in a group meeting the other day, and a high number of us reported these very strong childhood memories - more like you are reliving it than like you are remembering it. We decided that it's likely that this is due to us having the type of aspergers that involves strong visual skills. A lot of us thought at one point that maybe we had PTSD, and a few of us had even pursued treatment with a therapist in the hopes of uncovering where were were molested, because PTSD generally needs to be triggered by some big life event. Nobody actually uncovered any big trauma. We uncovered that we are on the spectrum.

As for meetings, do you mean 12 step meetings? Any ways, I support you in that choice. Having a place to feel supported outside your marriage sounds like a good idea to me.

Good luck! I hope you feel better soon.

Thanks somanyspoons, yea I mean 12 step meetings like NA and AA. I used to go to them a couple of years ago when I was trying to quit smoking pot. I stopped going because I managed to stay clean for 5 years now, and the social aspect is hard... but I miss feeling like a part of something bigger and like I belong with other people.

I had been diagnosed with asperger syndrome a couple of years ago but it had gotten a lot better. Mostly I suffer from emotional problems and post traumatic stress now... although socializing is very difficult from my anxiety and awkwardness. My memories are very vivid and like a movie in my mind of domestic violence at home growing up. It feels like it is happening again along with the feeling of fear and panic. I am finding that the therapists I am meeting don't know hardly anything about asperger's except very superficial information and they hint at my having a wrong diagnosis. I know I still have it but they put doubts in my head.

It never feels good when someone isn't really responding to a situation that bothers you, or worse when no one will listen. As having dealt with a traumatic childhood and being ignored I know how that can feel. The best thing to do is find people to support you, and if the people you are trying to make listen just won't, find someone who will. It doesn't mean forget the other person, they may just not know how to deal with something and they don't want to make it worse. They may not understand, which no one really can unless you were there yourself. If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to message me anytime. I'm always open to making new friends, and always try to listen well. Also remember that though things are difficult now, people care about you.