Short version:
How do you make friends with a professor, pushing the relationship past the rigidity of just a student who asks a lot of questions?
Long version:
So I have a professor who has become a kind of a mentor and friend. She is new to the school and I'm new to the department, so I have taken to talking to her all the time and going in for office hours to talk and ask questions. She has helped me immensely already, she is honest and gives me realistic answers, and we actually have a great time talking. She has opened up some about her personal life and i've shared with her as well. I think she's just the coolest. I know that people do form relationships with professors and I would love to keep her and be friends after I graduate.
However, since I struggle with social cues, it is difficult for me to balance this friend/professor relationship. In class, she is in teaching mode and responds differently than she does when it's just the two of us. I have trouble participating in class because I don't quite know how to interact with her in that setting. Also, I sometimes don't know how to treat her when I see her outside of office hours. She is sometimes in the zone and doesn't seem to regard me at all, but I don't know if i'm being rude by not addressing her, or if it's more rude to try to act like we're friends. I definitely believe that she regards me differently than other students, and she knows that I am clever, mature, and passionate, but of course I always have doubts. Maybe she doesn't see me as more than just another student.
I'm sure she is not going to "pursue" me as a friend because she is the professor and just can't do things like that, so I have to be the one to make it ok to be friends. If I don't try to act like I want to be friends, she is never going to be anything more than a professor who helps me. However, I feel confused about being the one to "pursue" the friendship because I don't quite know what's appropriate. Like when I see her around and she is distanced, should I assume that she needs space from students and respect that, or should I assume that I am set apart from other students and she wouldn't be annoyed if I went over and started talking to her?
15 Nov 2016, 1:53 pm
