Farewell to recovery.

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It appears as if I have no friends left in the 12-step circles. The text messages I sent out over the last couple of weeks were all ignored.

I deleted all of their numbers off my phone. Farewell to those rooms and those people.

I do not care anymore if I live or if I die.

Please have some regard for your life. Whether you realize it or not right now is when you need to be strong in yourself. When everyone else lets you down it hurts, but you need to take this time and learn to appreciate yourself. Everyone has a purpose in life and everyone needs a little hope. If you can't find your hope in people, find it somewhere else. People aren't very reliable. Focus on hobbies, animals, or learn something new. When people let you down, pick yourself up.

I tried AA back when I was drinking. It didn't work for me either. I attended the meetings and shared, but I could not connect with a sponsor. It was too socially based for me as an autistic person.
What helped me was find the right doctors and the right medication.
Have you spoken with a mental health professional about your issues?