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Joe90
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20 Nov 2016, 7:23 pm

I know this is small but small things like this can have an emotional affect on me.

Back in the summer I saw a DVD that caught my eye, and I purchased it. Then just tonight I was talking about films to my mum, and I told her that I had got me the DVD I had got. My mum went quiet, then said that she has bought me the same DVD as a Christmas gift.

She sounded rather disappointed, and I feel bad too. I know it wasn't nobody's fault, and nobody's angry, but when I think of my kindhearted mum seeing a DVD that I will like and having it be a nice gift to open on Christmas day, it makes me feel bad. Now I feel sorry for her.


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DataB4
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26 Nov 2016, 8:45 am

This is probably too late but I just wanted you to know someone read this. :) I've felt bad about little things like this: taking the last cookie and later finding out someone else wanted it, for example. I think these things are a bigger deal if you're already feeling down, or if the other person is. I want to get better at cheering people up.



BeaArthur
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26 Nov 2016, 1:38 pm

Give the DVD you bought away to a friend or work associate. Then make a point of watching the DVD together with your mother. Be sure to tell her that you are pleased she understood you so well that she thought you would like this DVD.


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26 Nov 2016, 8:14 pm

Maybe you or her could exchange the DVD.


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goldfish21
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27 Nov 2016, 2:07 am

These things happen. You'll both get over it.

Now I'm curious: What was the DVD? Also, I'm curious to find out which movie was worthy of owning a physical copy. So many people have digital copies or streaming access to their movies and don't bother with physical hard copies anymore.


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27 Nov 2016, 5:54 am

Agh, I know that feeling.

You should tell her that she got the perfect gift, it's just a shame you already got it! Tell her thank you and that you love her.

I feel like that should wash out the yucky emotions for both of you.

(Not to be condescending by using the word yucky but its the best word to describe the feelings I think, and I am trying to not censor myself to seem more NT on here.)


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racheypie666
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27 Nov 2016, 6:04 am

I hate this feeling!!

These days I counteract it by not buying myself any presents around Christmas time.

When it happens, just let the person know that they must know you really well to have got you such a great gift. Giving away the dvd you bought and keeping the one they bought might work, as BeaArthur suggested.

My dad bought himself a cafetiere this week, and on the same day my mum bought him the exact same one. They didn't think it was that big a deal - nice that they had the same thought, and fine because they can just return one of them - but it would have made me feel really bad.



kraftiekortie
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27 Nov 2016, 7:11 am

Simple solution: one of you return the DVD if possible. Problem solved.



Skilpadde
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27 Nov 2016, 7:47 am

Oh, that's sad, Joe. I know that feeling too. One feels so bad when we end up preventing loved ones the joy of giving a perfect gift. Just like we'd feel disappointed too if the roles were reversed.

I think Saffron's suggestion is a very good one.

saffron wrote:
You should tell her that she got the perfect gift, it's just a shame you already got it! Tell her thank you and that you love her.

and also Bea Arthur's about keeping the one your mother bought. That's what I'd do.


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27 Nov 2016, 10:36 am

goldfish21 wrote:
These things happen. You'll both get over it.

Now I'm curious: What was the DVD? Also, I'm curious to find out which movie was worthy of owning a physical copy. So many people have digital copies or streaming access to their movies and don't bother with physical hard copies anymore.

There's a lot of things I prefer material copies of, favorite album, movies or recordings of TV shows only broadcast in Europe and UK and YouTube users sometimes remove content I'd like to watch more than once.


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Zincubus
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27 Nov 2016, 10:40 am

Skilpadde wrote:
Oh, that's sad, Joe. I know that feeling too. One feels so bad when we end up preventing loved ones the joy of giving a perfect gift. Just like we'd feel disappointed too if the roles were reversed.

I think Saffron's suggestion is a very good one.
saffron wrote:
You should tell her that she got the perfect gift, it's just a shame you already got it! Tell her thank you and that you love her.

and also Bea Arthur's about keeping the one your mother bought. That's what I'd do.


As above . .....maybe keep your mums and swap yours for a DVD your mum loves ??



Joe90
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27 Nov 2016, 4:13 pm

Thanks for the replies.

Only problem is neither of us kept the receipt, and most stores don't want to let people return items unless they have a receipt.

I keep picturing my mum doing shopping and feeling happy to see the DVD she knew I'd love, happily putting it on the check-out along with the rest of the shopping, and then taking it home and putting it safely away, ready to be wrapped up as a Christmas gift. That would have made a lovely present for me, and I wish I hadn't have brought it back in the summer. Also my mum isn't very well at the moment (fighting cancer), so to think of how much thought went into....excuse me now I'm crying. :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

*Sniffs and wipes tears* by the way it was the Jungle Book, the real-life version.
In our house we prefer to own DVDs rather than streaming online.


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Lace-Bane
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27 Nov 2016, 5:29 pm

accidentally acquired two copies of a good film myself recently. thinking to either keep one at my father’s residence(so there’s something interesting to watch when there and alone with nothing much to do.), and one copy at my place, or keep the extra as a spare(disks don’t last forever with regular use, as taking them on and off the player disk mount and stubborn case mounts “can” eventually wear down or chip away at the mounting hole in the center).

maybe you could ask your mother to sign or write something in the gift copy’s case or something so that you know that one is extra special?


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kraftiekortie
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28 Nov 2016, 8:15 am

In some stores (shops) in the US, one could get "store credit" if they return something without a receipt, but which has a bar code.

I wouldn't be surprised if some place like TKK Maxx does the same thing in the UK. Or Marks and Spenser or places of that ilk.