Is it too much to ask for acceptance of our differences?
I thought about this question for many years, even before my diagnosis in my 20s back in 2001, when I had insight into my inherent differences as a person with Aspergers. Then just the other day, I was perusing the Canadian Human Rights Tribunal to see if there was a case or precedent for someone with autism who'd been wronged and received redress, and sure enough there was one from a woman with autism who'd been harassed and bullied out of a job with Canada Post (the national mail and parcel service) from a few years back. her quote was:
"Out of all the differences we accept along the 'human spectrum', why do we not accept those who have autistic traits?"
She had a very good point, again, one I'd pondered at various points along my journey to greater awareness, satisfaction, and self-sufficiency. Predictably, the poor woman relayed a story of protesting to her bullying co-workers and manager that she hadn't done anything wrong, she had no malicious intent towards them, but was unabashedly told by a manager, "It doesn't matter, we know you did nothing wrong. It's because you're different."
WELL...Consider people who have like 100 tattoos, miscellaneous body piercings, weird hair arrangements, etc. and/or are into bizarre things like African dance, preparing weird concoctions of organic vege-fruit juice, or maybe they have some cult-like rituals where everyone in a circle has to sip such concoction while listening to a CD of trance-like music...I mean, those people are pretty damn DIFFERENT, right??!? But nobody seems to gang up on them or persecute them for their differences. Or maybe you have people who are in some colonial village society or something, where they stitch their own period clothing and act in "character" with others, or maybe they perform on the street reading poetry or something - I consider that different, also, and have met a couple of such people at various points (like at work, or when doing volunteer stuff or an evening course - they openly admitted it...but no-one to my knowledge bullied them.
And this is the mindset I had in my twenties, typical justice-and-principle-oriented Asperger guy that I was, thinking it wasn't fair that I should be marginalized as such. Casting a glance back to my early twenties, I even managed to alienate house-mates who I'd consider kooky, with traits in a similar vein as the aforementioned; while in university, I still endured some bullying and ostrasization, and my attempts to enlighten them that "everyone is different" fell on deaf ears. Heck I even got bullying from a couple of females (as a male), think the "mean girl" profile of the Lindsay Lohan movie, and I got insults like "you're a f***ng loser, no girl would ever want to be with you, why don't you off yourself" - course I couldn't react, b/c she'd go to campus police or whatever and say I threatened her (let's hear a big sarcastic "ooh nooo!! poor little victim who did/said nothing wrong!"
) - and I got some bullying from "cocky jock" type males with the typical homophobic slurs, or telling me that I must have developed strong hands from wacking off, better get used to it for a long time, etc, etc.
I digressed a little on that one, yes - but I can just about guarantee you that the foul treatment was far worse than any that those "other different" types ever experienced in their youth.
I suppose that I can only chalk it up to those "other different" folks sharing a common "NT operating system" of emotionally nuanced communication and common perception of "the big picture". And that most people could sort of understand, in some way, the fundamentals of their hobbies and sub-culture what not. Whereas with us, there's no apparent explanation, and they don't want to hear our explanations b/c of the taboo & stigma factor of anything insinuating mental illness.
![]()
Yes and no. While I do not have Autism, I (probably) have a Personality Disorder given the emotional-psychological abuse I was subjected to as a child. I can socialize very well, but I can't relate to people and cultivate relationships like other NT's can. I've been tainted so to speak, and other people can sense something is 'off'.
If there's one thing people cannot forgive, it's social awkwardness. You can look different, talk with a different accent, or be the most ****ed up person imaginable (even Ted Bundy was considered extremely charismatic before he was caught), but it's to be socially inept that is the unforgivable sin.
Sorry. Take heart that it's not just Autists who're in the boat you're in.
Ban-Dodger
Veteran
Joined: 2 Jun 2011
Age: 1028
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,820
Location: Возможно в будущее к Россию идти... можеть быть...
I regard it as being due to the fact that more than 98% of the entire world consists of Satanists.
_________________
Pay me for my signature. 私の署名ですか❓お前の買うなければなりません。Mon autographe nécessite un paiement. Которые хочет мою автографу, у тебя нужно есть деньги сюда. Bezahlst du mich, wenn du meine Unterschrift wollen.
I don't think autism acceptance will happen in the very near future, but society keeps evolving. 50 years ago it was unacceptable to be LGBT+, or even for girls to own credit cards. So in 50 more years I think society will have progressed to the point where the concept of neurodiversity is as normal as the concept of racial and gender equality.
CockneyRebel
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 121,148
Location: In my own little country
The worst part is that people don't realize how they treat us, especially SJWs who claim they're accepting of all differences, yet shun autistic people like we're nobodies. I hate their hypocrisy, and I hate the fact that they demand we always conform to their standards and they refuse to meet us halfway on things.
This is why I registered Republican, just so I could piss them off.
I find that most people tolerate, which is different than accepting.
However, people generally have different levels of tolerance/open-mindedness, and not all are at fault for having limits in what they personally find acceptable.
If a person really doesn't want to be involved with someone they don't like, that's fine. It's just not fine if they act on their distaste and go out of their way to hurt and exclude a person, or of course, discriminate against someone in a workplace or school setting.
_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 29 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 193 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical
Not being funny but they probably are tolerant of you because your pretty and wear sexy black dresses.
Bit different for some other aspo's, especially if they look odd and act even stranger.
I agree with some of the comments above regarding the aspo's weirdo being the first suspect in any serial killer trial. Some poor aspo's have probably gone down for it too. I think that this kind of thing happened in the netflix series making of a murderer to this guy steve avery and his nephew.
Where some aspo's do not verbally communicate empathy, i do not think that this qualifies them as sociopaths.
I dont think sadistic tendencies is part of the aspo or autistic spectrum array of symptoms. well not generally.
I know i hate sadism and likely one of the reasons why i don't get on with most neurotypicals.
CockneyRebel
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 121,148
Location: In my own little country
That describes my mum to a T.
_________________
The Family Schlager
I wouldn't say that 98% of the world are satanists, well at least not knowingly.
It is possible (and this is a big leap of faith here) that if the model of perception that some Christian faiths promote is complete accurate, then sure. Perhaps most people are in Satan's hands, although unknowingly.
I would say that it may feel that most neurotypical people are satanists because they are capable of sadism, i.e. intentionally hurting people. Where you may not, and perhaps have been brought up with compassionate parents who may prescribe to Christian beliefs that have had an impact on how you perceive the world.
Perhaps i am wrong, as i am an aspo and so am often wrong.
I see most people as jerk offs because they don't adhere to my high standards of black and white morality.
But i am coming to terms with the fact that how i see the world may be wrong or at least accept the fact that most people are jerks and so are likely to upset me. This is the world that capitalism and the entertainment industry has made for us. Not quiet the utopia that i so dream of. But never mind. What can i do about it.
Nonetheless, good luck mate. Try and forgive the satanists, well at least the ones that dont hurt you too much and who do not even know they are such jerks.
CockneyRebel
Veteran
Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 121,148
Location: In my own little country
Bit different for some other aspo's, especially if they look odd and act even stranger.
I agree with some of the comments above regarding the aspo's weirdo being the first suspect in any serial killer trial. Some poor aspo's have probably gone down for it too. I think that this kind of thing happened in the netflix series making of a murderer to this guy steve avery and his nephew.
Where some aspo's do not verbally communicate empathy, i do not think that this qualifies them as sociopaths.
I dont think sadistic tendencies is part of the aspo or autistic spectrum array of symptoms. well not generally.
I know i hate sadism and likely one of the reasons why i don't get on with most neurotypicals.
I wasn't talking about myself, but generalising that most of the public tolerates people on the spectrum, to a degree.
I also stated that there's a difference between accepting and tolerating a person. A person that is tolerated is a part of the environment, and a person that is accepted is socially included within the environment.
Example:
While I was at college, there was a girl in my class that was open about her Asperger's. While no one bothered her, no one bothered to get to know her, either. For every group assignment we had, she was leftover to be put into a random group, even though we were allowed to choose who we wanted to start the assignment with.
If she were accepted by the class, then she may had been personally invited by a student into a group, rather than be shoe-horned into a group (by our professor) that could fit in 'one more'. I think that most of her trouble was not being as able to relate or react in a way that neurotypical people could understand, so it made it harder to approach and accept her as she was.
The class could not empathize with her the majority of the time. Although, I'm sure if someone were to befriend her, they would have found some things to relate with, even if not completely understood.
It wasn't a case of discrimination. No one complained or cared about which group she joined, the ones who received her seemed indifferent, and they all just tolerated the outcome and were civil about it.
(I'm pretty sure she graduated)
_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 29 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 193 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical
StarTrekker
Veteran
Joined: 22 Apr 2012
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,088
Location: Starship Voyager, somewhere in the Delta quadrant
Bit different for some other aspo's, especially if they look odd and act even stranger.
I agree with some of the comments above regarding the aspo's weirdo being the first suspect in any serial killer trial. Some poor aspo's have probably gone down for it too. I think that this kind of thing happened in the netflix series making of a murderer to this guy steve avery and his nephew.
Where some aspo's do not verbally communicate empathy, i do not think that this qualifies them as sociopaths.
I dont think sadistic tendencies is part of the aspo or autistic spectrum array of symptoms. well not generally.
I know i hate sadism and likely one of the reasons why i don't get on with most neurotypicals.
I wasn't talking about myself, but generalising that most of the public tolerates people on the spectrum, to a degree.
I also stated that there's a difference between accepting and tolerating a person. A person that is tolerated is a part of the environment, and a person that is accepted is socially included within the environment.
Example:
While I was at college, there was a girl in my class that was open about her Asperger's. While no one bothered her, no one bothered to get to know her, either. For every group assignment we had, she was leftover to be put into a random group, even though we were allowed to choose who we wanted to start the assignment with.
If she were accepted by the class, then she may had been personally invited by a student into a group, rather than be shoe-horned into a group (by our professor) that could fit in 'one more'. I think that most of her trouble was not being as able to relate or react in a way that neurotypical people could understand, so it made it harder to approach and accept her as she was.
The class could not empathize with her the majority of the time. Although, I'm sure if someone were to befriend her, they would have found some things to relate with, even if not completely understood.
It wasn't a case of discrimination. No one complained or cared about which group she joined, the ones who received her seemed indifferent, and they all just tolerated the outcome and were civil about it.
(I'm pretty sure she graduated)
You could easily be describing me in that scenario.
_________________
"Survival is insufficient" - Seven of Nine
Diagnosed with ASD level 1 on the 10th of April, 2014
Rediagnosed with ASD level 2 on the 4th of May, 2019
Thanks to Olympiadis for my fantastic avatar!
I am part ethnic German on both sides of the family (and for awhile, worked for a company headquartered in Germany, and worked with Germans and/or the German language on a daily basis). May I ask why you prefer Germany over your home country (or ethnic origin, if it's not German)? Is it simply to be a rebel? Is it due to your love of Hogan's Heroes?
Personally, I've reached the conclusion that there is good and bad to be found in every country.
Mit vielen Grüßen,
~~ the phoenix
