Another wasted year
This year has been another wasted one in regards to finding a relationship for me.
I really tried to get out of my rut this year. I paid for speed dating as well online dating despite how my previous attempts with the latter didn't work before, called a dating agency, went to meet up events, and went to bars. I have tried a lot of the things society tells me to do and I never find a girlfriend no matter what I do. I have suffered clinical depression since 2006 and I was hoping it wouldn't go past ten years but everything is pointing to the fact that it will continue.
Earlier this year, I wondered if I should've just given up. If this year was no different from the previous year, why should the next one be any different?
I'll tell you why: hope. Miracles can happen as long as you believe it exists.
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― Kurt Cobain
auntblabby
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^^^Marknis, I didn't learn the answer to that question until I was in the september of my years, and when I did find out, I was glad I didn't learn it when I was young because if I had, then I would likely have decided then to hang it up and go take a long walk off a short pier and get it over with. the one experience god allowed me to have taught me I was not made to be any kinda mate for anybody, the fault was in me and it was in deep. I hope your luck is better than mine.
Maybe you can turn to hobbies and common interests. Find groups of other people who have the same interests as you. If nothing else, a disabilities club will always understand where you're coming from.
But personally, I am in the exact same spot as you. 20 year old, diagnosed with Asperger's in sixth grade and I've been trying to fix myself as a person ever since. I have one or two people that I would seriously call a friend (and they all live in another town than mine), and I have been single my entire life, with no indication that this will change.
I have learned that people can be so cruel and apprehensive (I was heavily bullied in middle school and my Aspie friend committed suicide from people being cruel to him), and I've had this sentiment in the past few days where I am just completely done with trying with people. I frankly seek solidarity and reflection in nature, and I take a walk in the woods near my house. Try doing that and getting away from people for a while.
If it weren't for the fact that I am going through college, I just don't want to talk to or see absolutely anyone. I just completely ignore people in public. I am very angry and frustrated with people and society at large. The sooner you can realize that not everyone is made for love, like you or I, then the sooner you can stop worrying about their petty asses and pursue what YOU want to do for yourself. Take a stroll and think about what you want in life the most. Unless what you want most is a companion, like me.
auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
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Posts: 113,740
Location: the island of defective toy santas
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,470
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
I really tried to get out of my rut this year. I paid for speed dating as well online dating despite how my previous attempts with the latter didn't work before, called a dating agency, went to meet up events, and went to bars. I have tried a lot of the things society tells me to do and I never find a girlfriend no matter what I do. I have suffered clinical depression since 2006 and I was hoping it wouldn't go past ten years but everything is pointing to the fact that it will continue.
Earlier this year, I wondered if I should've just given up. If this year was no different from the previous year, why should the next one be any different?
Well it seems like you're putting a time limit on it, and spending too much energy trying to make it happen 'right now'...maybe obsess on it less focus on things that are going well rather than obsessing to where not having a girlfriend is the only thing happening in your life. That isn't good for you because it's making you feel like crap about yourself...and also it could make you come off as too desperate or clingy..or wanting to jump into things too fast which can be detrimental to finding that relationship.
So don't give up, just maybe put it more on the back burner and focus on some other things for a while...also instead of paid dating sites, why not the free ones? I imagine a lot of people on the paid ones are more well to do or already have an established career and are looking for fellow professional career people and such.
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We won't go back.
A relationship is probably the only thing I'd be good at yet I can't get one
I really tried to get out of my rut this year. I paid for speed dating as well online dating despite how my previous attempts with the latter didn't work before, called a dating agency, went to meet up events, and went to bars. I have tried a lot of the things society tells me to do and I never find a girlfriend no matter what I do. I have suffered clinical depression since 2006 and I was hoping it wouldn't go past ten years but everything is pointing to the fact that it will continue.
Earlier this year, I wondered if I should've just given up. If this year was no different from the previous year, why should the next one be any different?
Well it seems like you're putting a time limit on it, and spending too much energy trying to make it happen 'right now'...maybe obsess on it less focus on things that are going well rather than obsessing to where not having a girlfriend is the only thing happening in your life. That isn't good for you because it's making you feel like crap about yourself...and also it could make you come off as too desperate or clingy..or wanting to jump into things too fast which can be detrimental to finding that relationship.
So don't give up, just maybe put it more on the back burner and focus on some other things for a while...also instead of paid dating sites, why not the free ones? I imagine a lot of people on the paid ones are more well to do or already have an established career and are looking for fellow professional career people and such.
He's nearly 30, and has been wanting a girlfriend since 18.
He's already put it on the back burner before, and so now over a decade later and hes still singe.
Sometimes he has tried as sometimea he hasnt
Its.about time he really tries.
auntblabby
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Location: the island of defective toy santas
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,126
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
Maybe you could try going the mail-order bride route. I would of done that if I had the money or resources. You could also try dating sites designed for disabled people.
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The_Face_of_Boo
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Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
I really tried to get out of my rut this year. I paid for speed dating as well online dating despite how my previous attempts with the latter didn't work before, called a dating agency, went to meet up events, and went to bars. I have tried a lot of the things society tells me to do and I never find a girlfriend no matter what I do. I have suffered clinical depression since 2006 and I was hoping it wouldn't go past ten years but everything is pointing to the fact that it will continue.
Earlier this year, I wondered if I should've just given up. If this year was no different from the previous year, why should the next one be any different?
Well it seems like you're putting a time limit on it, and spending too much energy trying to make it happen 'right now'...maybe obsess on it less focus on things that are going well rather than obsessing to where not having a girlfriend is the only thing happening in your life. That isn't good for you because it's making you feel like crap about yourself...and also it could make you come off as too desperate or clingy..or wanting to jump into things too fast which can be detrimental to finding that relationship.
So don't give up, just maybe put it more on the back burner and focus on some other things for a while...also instead of paid dating sites, why not the free ones? I imagine a lot of people on the paid ones are more well to do or already have an established career and are looking for fellow professional career people and such.
Why guys always get accused of wanting it "right now" (This is synonymous to "you are desperate")? You have no idea how long he was probably trying before he makes this thread - and there's nothing in his post indicates that seeking a gf is the only thing he focuses on in his life.
I see a lot of these assumptions toward guys here.
To women who make these assumptions : Don't exaggeratedly over-estimate your value in guys' lives too much, having relationships with you is never the only purpose in our lives.
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