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cricketman123
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16 Dec 2016, 3:52 pm

I'm going to a few Christmas events this month such as the church carol service and midnight mass, i'm also thinking about going out for a new year eve in the pub or club. Is that a good way of finding a Girlfriend and how could i start off a conversation, remember i've never even held a hand of a girl/kissed her let alone dating



AngelRho
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17 Dec 2016, 1:26 pm

Ok, you're off to a great start. That's baby step #1 in getting a gf.

Make sure your priorities are in order at this stage. Never held hands? Fine. Let's not focus on getting a gf right NOW. Instead, concentrate on building your social circle. Spend time with your church friends. Observe what they do. Keep your conversation limited. Your first task is to "see and be seen." Become part of the social environment. If you are able to talk to people, listen to what they say and ask them to tell you more about whatever it is that holds THEIR interest. Keep THEM talking. You barely have to say anything at all. This is how you win friends. Commit names and faces to memory. Get a notebook and write down details when you get home, as much as you can remember. Review daily. This will help you know how to drive future conversations.

DO THIS and report your progress back here. Good luck!



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17 Dec 2016, 2:29 pm

Clubs/pubs will be crowded on New Year's Eve and it will be loud, so keep that in mind when you're thinking of starting a conversation. You may not be able to hear each other.

The thing that comes to mind is that your focused in on one thing only: finding a girlfriend. Which is fine, it's just that I wonder if you have anything to talk about. Like what sort of things do you like to do with your spare time? What do you like to do for fun? What do you think about _______? (whatever - you fill in that blank)

In other words, you need to have something to say to a woman other than "I'm looking for a girlfriend."

Are there Meetups in your area? I think I asked you that once before, don't know if you ever responded.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Dec 2016, 3:41 pm

Luhluhluh wrote:
In other words, you need to have something to say to a woman other than "I'm looking for a girlfriend."

Are there Meetups in your area? I think I asked you that once before, don't know if you ever responded.



Are you being serious in your advice, or are there really guys out there who would say something that stupid?



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17 Dec 2016, 4:37 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Luhluhluh wrote:
In other words, you need to have something to say to a woman other than "I'm looking for a girlfriend."

Are there Meetups in your area? I think I asked you that once before, don't know if you ever responded.



Are you being serious in your advice, or are there really guys out there who would say something that stupid?


Have you ever been approached by any single men? You might be surprised at what comes out of their mouth lol :lol:

When someone needs to ask in his original post "How could I start off a conversation," then I think what I'm asking certainly applies. Someone who is single-minded in a pursuit, if they truly have NO other hobbies/interests, is going to come across as desperate, which will be an immediate turn off. You need to have some sort of life outside of trying to get a girlfriend/boyfriend. Them's the facts, whether you like them or not.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Dec 2016, 5:51 pm

^ There's no human being on earth who doesn't have a life outside of trying to have a bf/gf.

This human you are talking about is unreal, doesn't exist.

Jeez why many of you ladies here tend to think of yourselves that extremly important in guys' lives - I keep seeing this attitude here.
Putting yourselves on a pedestal too highly.

You are *not* the reason (or even a reason) in living our lives.



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17 Dec 2016, 6:38 pm

That's nice but we're still waiting to hear from the OP. Your opinion is noted though. :)


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cricketman123
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17 Dec 2016, 6:50 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Luhluhluh wrote:
In other words, you need to have something to say to a woman other than "I'm looking for a girlfriend."

Are there Meetups in your area? I think I asked you that once before, don't know if you ever responded.



Are you being serious in your advice, or are there really guys out there who would say something that stupid?


i am interested in lots of things. I love travel and would like to travel the world and have adventures. I Spend my time being with family and visiting my grandad in his care home and there are no meetups



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17 Dec 2016, 8:50 pm

The worst mistake a man can make when meeting a girl is trying to jump directly from the stranger phase to the boyfriend phase.

If you meet a girl you like, keep the conversations fun and simple. Don't jump straight into anything deep with her. Tell her that you think you'll be good friends (before she does), then ask for her email, whatsapp.... etc. As she's giving it to you, tell her just to give you her number as well.

The trick is to friend zone her (or make her think she's in the friend zone), before she friend zones you. She'll then wonder why you've friend zoned her when other guys have tried to rush straight in there. That curiosity will keep her interested in you.

Make her wait 2-3 days, then give her a call and tell her you want to meet her for some stimulating conversation.

Take it from there. :)


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Luhluhluh
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17 Dec 2016, 11:20 pm

cricketman123 wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Luhluhluh wrote:
In other words, you need to have something to say to a woman other than "I'm looking for a girlfriend."

Are there Meetups in your area? I think I asked you that once before, don't know if you ever responded.



Are you being serious in your advice, or are there really guys out there who would say something that stupid?


i am interested in lots of things. I love travel and would like to travel the world and have adventures. I Spend my time being with family and visiting my grandad in his care home and there are no meetups


Okay so that's good. The reason I ask about outside interests is that you need to be able to connect with other people, specifically you need to be able to verbalize it and connect with another person in a conversation. That means you share thoughts, feelings, and experiences. That's how you get to know someone.

You say you love to travel - WHERE do you love to travel? What sorts of things have you done? What specific adventures would you like to have?

And of course, you have to ask her these things too. People love to talk about themselves.


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Hexen
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08 Jan 2017, 8:05 pm

Bars/Pubs aren't the best place to meet women, unless you want to meet slu*ty alcoholics. Everyone women I have ever heard state, that you can find a decent woman at a bar; they themselves had several problems themselves.



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08 Jan 2017, 8:46 pm

Maybe making friends with a girl would help with the social skills and become used to being around women :)



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08 Jan 2017, 8:55 pm

Alliekit wrote:
Maybe making friends with a girl would help with the social skills and become used to being around women :)

That depends. A man usually has to show romantic interest with a woman quick, even if they start as friends; else she won't know he's interested and might windup dating someone else. Timing is everything. You don't want to rush, but you damn sure don't want to move at a slow pace.



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08 Jan 2017, 8:56 pm

Hexen wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Maybe making friends with a girl would help with the social skills and become used to being around women :)

That depends. A man usually has to show romantic interest with a woman quick, even if they start as friends; else she won't know he's interested and might windup dating someone else. Timing is everything. You don't want to rush, but you damn sure don't want to move at a slow pace.


But I'd he is aware it's strictly friends to start with it may not be so bad



Hexen
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08 Jan 2017, 9:01 pm

Alliekit wrote:
Hexen wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Maybe making friends with a girl would help with the social skills and become used to being around women :)

That depends. A man usually has to show romantic interest with a woman quick, even if they start as friends; else she won't know he's interested and might windup dating someone else. Timing is everything. You don't want to rush, but you damn sure don't want to move at a slow pace.


But I'd he is aware it's strictly friends to start with it may not be so bad

I'm not sure what you mean. Do you mean, if he knew she only wanted him as a friend and nothing more? Most girls won't just come out and say that, because they wouldn't want to hurt a guy's feelings. It's ALL about subtly with women, NTs, AS, it doesn't matter. I'm lucky enough that I've high functioning and can pick up on most things now.



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08 Jan 2017, 9:17 pm

Hexen wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Hexen wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Maybe making friends with a girl would help with the social skills and become used to being around women :)

That depends. A man usually has to show romantic interest with a woman quick, even if they start as friends; else she won't know he's interested and might windup dating someone else. Timing is everything. You don't want to rush, but you damn sure don't want to move at a slow pace.


But I'd he is aware it's strictly friends to start with it may not be so bad

I'm not sure what you mean. Do you mean, if he knew she only wanted him as a friend and nothing more? Most girls won't just come out and say that, because they wouldn't want to hurt a guy's feelings. It's ALL about subtly with women, NTs, AS, it doesn't matter. I'm lucky enough that I've high functioning and can pick up on most things now.


If she already had a partner then it would obviously be purely friendship