Website against Asperger's Syndrome: HeartlessAspergers.com

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That is why you shouldn't say you are Asperger, because of wrong stupid prejudices.

Similar prejudices happen regarding skin colour and regarding other minorities.

They read what we post here for sure.

My message to them for today (it's Sunday here!)
“Don't judge too harshly, for if your weaknesses were to be placed under your footsteps, most likely you would stumble and fall as well"

Or as my old granny used to say to habitual accusers: "you wouldn't try so hard to shame others if your own lies and misdoings was printed on your forehead". Her other most common response was "stop targeting that person. they are far more sinned against than sinning, and you are not innocent in that".

She has been dead for over 50 years, but I still value her guidance and wisdom about people who target others in hateful ways.

^^... they read and post

I just went through it too and as a long ago diagnosed 'Aspie' a term her and the rest of the site's bigots like to use I felt my blood honestly boil. Who is she to justify such hate and use random examples as if all persons with Asperger's are the same and nothing but borderline sociopaths? And she says we lack empathy? No Ma'am you are a hater and take the cake. She has no business judging Adults Autism. She wants to feel sorry for herself and partners and former partners for having to deal with people with Asperger's? I feel discriminated and judged by her and her allies blatant bias hypocrisy.

My dear old granny used to have a saying: "what do you expect from a pig but a grunt". While I feel that this is unfair to actual pigs - which seem to me quite nice, though very exploited, animals - it seems apt for that particular site and its haters. She was a wise old lady. Don't let it bother you, haters are not worth your energy, only their own kind takes them seriously at the end of the day. There will always be ignorant haters out there, if they weren't hating on us they would be hating on some other minority group, because the only thing haters are good at is hate. Laugh at them instead, whenever possible. No point in trying to reason with people like that. They get off on a false sense of power and that's why they do it. They don't understand it makes them seem despicable to others.

the haters claim: "Neurotypicals know themselves "

NO!! !! NEUROTYPICALS DO NOT KNOW THEMSELVES!! !! !! !! !!

About hatred from a jungian psychological point of view.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRB-EZiiDQ8

I tend to agree with you there. The superficiality in the NT planet is popular with many because they judge by appearances and skim the surface of things, often mistaking it for the substance. Knowing oneself is a challenge for all, and I have a theory about that. To me, a person is four fold - the physical, the psychological, the emotional, the soul (soul not in the religious sense but as the source of deepest feeling, creativity and insight. As I see it, every person has there own preferred locus which becomes paramount in the way they live their lives - for some it is the body; for some the mind (psychological). For some the emotional, and for some the soul - though the latter are far fewer in number. And the profiles of NTs vis a vis AS people in which locus is predominant would be very different I think. Generally AS people don't care for superficiality or life on the surface (though some do).

The more people live on the surface, in my experience, the more judgmental they are, and less informed their judgments are. The one good thing about hateful websites is the examples of this that they provide, a clear example of that kind of human being. It is good to be aware of them, and how they think (and hate) for they will always be around, always have been. Another of their hallmark behaviours is projection: they typify the old saying about "point a finger at someone else and three point back to yourself". Very judgemental, superficial people have one major habit in common, and it is blaming others for their own anger, disgruntlement and contempt. They are miserable people, often poisoned by their own toxicity, though they can almost never see that.

I wouldn't take it too much to heart. Everyone can be irrational and hold grudges sometimes. To be fair, some aspects of AS can indeed make us confuse and even hurt others. Aspies, like anyone else, have ups and downs but, most importantly, it doesn't make you a jerk unless you choose to lean into the downside.

The website felt very much like a person who had been let's say raped by a person of A different race then decides to go on a tirade about why all people of that race are bad because they got hurt by one . Then they set up intelligent arguments telling you why this particular race is a bad race and why they are prone to this kind of behavior that they unfortunately experienced from one of the members of that race.

That is exactly how racism works.

B19, what you've said here is amazing and so true. Thank you for every word of it. I always have been an AS person who cares nothing about superficiality or life on the surface. I've found that people who do care about such things are too scared to go deeper. It's sad.

Question:

After looking at the website I wondered why it focusses on men with Asperger's. The spectrum is fairly diverse and there are a lot of women on it so what about them? I mean, can't we all be horrible people too? (Sarcasm, of course. I do not advocate being a horrible person as that may lead to the writing of idiotic websites.)

Honestly, I haven't heard that kind of rhetoric outside the radicalized camps of Reddit.

Did they forget that women get autism? that men can find empathy crippling in its excess? that people with AS disorders might not even go round looking for romantic relationships?

Screech piece. A total screech piece.

I very much agree with you. I cannot comment for all aspies, but I always had an overload of empathy which I did not know how to make sense of in real time. NTs do indeed seem to have machinery geared around processing social situations in ways that are conflated with "being good", but are actually either in their own self-interest or the interest of maintaining social fabric.

Even autism assessors can be quite poor when describing a person's empathy levels . My report said I had difficulty showing empathy ,without actually stating whether that was affective or cognitive empathy.

I think there's a tendency to see empathy as an all or nothing ,homogenous, thing , rather than it can be good in some ways and less good in others.

There's also the issue of inwardly feeling affection versus outwardly finding it hard to express that affection in a way that other people can easily pick up on.

Personally speaking, I think this is a very helpful and important website for autists to use to self-evaluate and improve. I don't want the people close to me to suffer like the writers on there have.

When I first discovered Heartless Aspergers and The Neurotypical Site I was definitely pretty distressed about the negative things that were being said about autistic people (no one likes to be told something is inherently flawed about them!).

However, I kinda feel like what's said on that site is much more relatable to my personal experience with the effect autism has had on my life than any other resource, and has definitely served as a vehicle to reflect on the harsh reality of my condition. At the very least, it has encouraged me to be extra careful to be receptive to the people around me (to the best of my ability at least).