Dating sites - do they actually work?
TUAndrew
Blue Jay
Joined: 3 May 2014
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 89
Location: Hampshire, UK Sometimes France
They can do, but rather than dating sites I prefer other social websites as I met my former partner on one. The problem with dating sites rather than themed social sites is that everyone's so busy looking for the cookie-cut bf/gf that there isn't much focus on things which really strengthen long-term relationships, such as what your hobbies and passions are. Of course dating sites would often let you list your hobbies, but if the focus isn't there then there's really no point.
Another strange thing about dating sites is that there's so much subtext. I found with Plenty Of Fish they have the profile question asking "have you got a car?" Now that question sounds simple enough, but of course we all know that that's not really what they're asking; they're actualy asking if you can afford one. I want to give the true answer of:
"I have a full driving licence and I can afford a car if I really needed one for work, but I don't literally have a car at this moment." But because of the drop-down answer options I'm forced to pick "yes" or "no".
I agree with that. It feels so forced, and people seem to think that if they don't date people, or find someone they like, then they should just find anyone.
I prefer meet up type things, where it isn't about dating and love, more about meeting people and maybe friendships as the basis. Except I have social anxiety so I never go to any....
For shorter/short guys, the problem is mostly that there is a lot of bitterness, insecurity, and blame placed on women. When I dated a shorter guy (he was taller than me since I am 5'1.5), he used to be mean to me because he felt insecure about his height. He would pick on things about me, and my exbfs. It didn't make him taller, or more popular.
Actually, most of the problem comes from other people telling them it is weird or wrong. There are so many who are not involved (in the relationship) telling people that you should date a taller guy, a shorter girl, a younger girl, older guy, richer guy, more attractive person, etc.
People force their ideals on others and try to shame them into feeling they are wrong for not following what someone else thinks, or wants to be standard. Or they are just arrogant and grandiose.
I saw this in another thread where two women were sh*tting on a certain type of guy because it isn't their type. Saying it's wrong and weird for them to be something else.
That's why people get bullied.
That's why people feel insecure.
Don't force a standard on other people, accept people for their differences.
I know women who are taller (5'7+) who said they wouldn't date shorter guys, but then they meet someone they like who is shorter than they are, and they don't care. I dated tall guys (over 6') who said they prefer taller girls, but I am not tall.
It can feel really horrible if you don't fit into a group that is claimed to be the ideal, but most things will be overlooked. Being short can be masked by being interesting, cool, attractive, intelligent, etc. If the people you meet or want to date are that shallow, then it might be better to look for a different type of person to pursue.
Edit: used the wrong word in a sentence.
The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,890
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.
Oh please, don't shift the blame on the short men because of your experience with one man. This is getting so old.
And he was taller than you still, so it's not really a case of a man dating a woman taller than him.
No, the common denominator problem of all short men is that most women prefer men taller than themselves (while considering the heels too)- and not the 'personality' of all short men.
In fact, it's an average height men problem and a tall height men problem , at least for those who happen to like very tall women too....they would still not likely be able to date women taller than them because most would not accept them because of that. I guess most men agree on this fact of life, whether they are short, average or tall.
So it's not only a short-man thing.
Most women are not attracted to men shorter than themselves (and won't consider them, so they won't get to know whether their personality is bitter or interesting or cool or insecure or as*hole or...etc height-based rejection on dating sites usually happen before that)- it's simply a primitive attraction thing they have and i have posted so many materials in this thread proving that. And there's the peer pressure factor which contributes to all this which you perfectly explained, it's true.
My argument is backed with numbers, studies and survey figures, while your 'theory' is based on one experience. Therefore, objectively speaking, your argument is by far weaker.
Stop denying this simple fact.
RetroGamer87
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Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,970
Location: Adelaide, Australia
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Besides the fact that Kraftie is from a different generation and he did most of his stuff in his youth and not now, he might have some other things that attracted them, despite his height. This doesn't mean that being short won't decrease your dating pool.
RetroGamer87
Veteran
Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,970
Location: Adelaide, Australia
I think in a way being tall is a disadvantage for strength because it gives you bad leverage.
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The days are long, but the years are short
It's funny how nobody admits that they find specific height attractive, but it just so happens that almost all marriages are between a taller men and a shorter woman.
Attraction rarely is rational.
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