Dating sites - do they actually work?

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Kohen
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21 Jan 2017, 10:42 am

Hi everyone, sorry for the unexpected thread. I just got reminded about spending a lot of my free time on using dating sites, and how I had also met some women from there. I'd like to get your opinions about this if you don't mind.

Well, you see... when I first started using dating sites I was quite confused about how I am going to be using it. It's quite difficult knowing what are the right things to write about yourself, and what you are looking for, etc. Even the pictures that you upload to your profile were quite crucial about how high the chances of finding love were. Today, I know very well what to write and how to upload the right pics, but I think there are quite a few problems and difficulties you can face when using a dating site... the competition with other men who are on there, the effort of having to impress women and having to "stand out" so that she would decide to pick you as her next date, etc. It isn't easy at all. Have you guys ever used a dating site and what are your thoughts about it? Did you send a lot of messages and got any replies, or you were often ignored by the women? Did it lead to you finding true love, or even just simple dates? For me, it had mostly brought simple dates but nothing beyond that. It's quite difficult finding true love on there, but I think its possible, and it can be a great alternative especially for those of us having social issues and difficulties.



Datalis
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21 Jan 2017, 11:00 am

It depends on your area, I'd say. I live in Baltimore and I just rejoined okcupid and was quickly reminded why I quite. So many women just care about the night life, such as dancing and clubbing. Other women have a sarcastic profile that makes them seem snobby and not serious and the only women that are interested in the same things I am, make statements such as "Don't message me if you like Trump". One woman stated she target shoots. She also stated she didn't care who you voted for as long as it wasn't Trump. Sure, because it's not like Hillary was against guns or anything.



Zed90230
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21 Jan 2017, 12:37 pm

Nope.



TheSpectrum
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21 Jan 2017, 12:42 pm

Dating sites - do they actually work?

No. Next question, please!


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whatamievendoing
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21 Jan 2017, 1:01 pm

Not for me, they didn't. And I tried them twice.

First time, I merely created a profile on a dating site and sat idly by. Granted, that was my own mistake, expecting a miracle where one wasn't likely to happen in the least. I did chat with a couple of ladies, though, but that was the extent of it - no dates ended up happening. And both of them stopped responding to me after roughly a week.

Second time, I installed Tinder, but I had a different strategy in mind this time around: I'd actually be active. Alas, that plan I only barely executed. Matched with about four women (counting out a spambot), chatted with one of them for one evening, but she apparently lost interest by the next day, as she never responded to me.

I do acknowledge that I was the one at fault for the most part. But at the same time, I hold the women guilty for not being straightforward. What's so hard about saying you're not interested anymore? At least it's less painful than total silence.


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Luhluhluh
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21 Jan 2017, 1:03 pm

Yeah they can work, but it is difficult and you have to have a very thick skin. I mean, I met my partner from an online site in 2002 and we're still together. But the truth is if I were suddenly to become single again, I would not use an online dating site again. For one thing, I'm too old lol, and the other is that there's this kid in a candy store mentality, and if you meet someone they can be very quick to drop you and move on to someone else.

And men have an entirely different set of problems of which I've only heard about, but ones that come to mind are the limited number of women on these sites, the fake profiles, and the women being very very specific and picky about what they are looking for.


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Boxman108
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21 Jan 2017, 2:11 pm

Tried OKC and tinder and some other junk a few times. A lot of work wasted on getting spammed by bots or trolled. Never any dates.


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Alliekit
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21 Jan 2017, 2:38 pm

I met my partner on OKcupid so it can work but it is difficult and you need to put alot of effort in.



Datalis
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21 Jan 2017, 2:46 pm

Basically if you're not a hardcore progressive liberal, or a hardcore Conservative Christian; okcupid doesn't work. Also, if you happen to be a progressive, you have to deal with all the women in an open relationship.



Alliekit
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21 Jan 2017, 2:49 pm

Datalis wrote:
Basically if you're not a hardcore progressive liberal, or a hardcore Conservative Christian; okcupid doesn't work. Also, if you happen to be a progressive, you have to deal with all the women in an open relationship.


Lol what? That makes no sense I literally never met anyone like that on Okcupid. Hell I'm not either of those and believe in monogamy and I was on there (same as my partner). Maybe its just where you live?



Datalis
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21 Jan 2017, 2:52 pm

Alliekit wrote:
Datalis wrote:
Basically if you're not a hardcore progressive liberal, or a hardcore Conservative Christian; okcupid doesn't work. Also, if you happen to be a progressive, you have to deal with all the women in an open relationship.


Lol what? That makes no sense I literally never met anyone like that on Okcupid. Hell I'm not either of those and believe in monogamy and I was on there (same as my partner). Maybe its just where you live?

I do live in a s**thole, so probably.



Marknis
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21 Jan 2017, 3:05 pm

Datalis wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Datalis wrote:
Basically if you're not a hardcore progressive liberal, or a hardcore Conservative Christian; okcupid doesn't work. Also, if you happen to be a progressive, you have to deal with all the women in an open relationship.


Lol what? That makes no sense I literally never met anyone like that on Okcupid. Hell I'm not either of those and believe in monogamy and I was on there (same as my partner). Maybe its just where you live?

I do live in a s**thole, so probably.


I am guessing you live in the Bible Belt because that is how internet dating has been for me as well.



Datalis
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21 Jan 2017, 3:23 pm

Marknis wrote:
Datalis wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Datalis wrote:
Basically if you're not a hardcore progressive liberal, or a hardcore Conservative Christian; okcupid doesn't work. Also, if you happen to be a progressive, you have to deal with all the women in an open relationship.


Lol what? That makes no sense I literally never met anyone like that on Okcupid. Hell I'm not either of those and believe in monogamy and I was on there (same as my partner). Maybe its just where you live?

I do live in a s**thole, so probably.


I am guessing you live in the Bible Belt because that is how internet dating has been for me as well.

I live in Baltimore.



Marknis
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21 Jan 2017, 3:25 pm

Datalis wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Datalis wrote:
Alliekit wrote:
Datalis wrote:
Basically if you're not a hardcore progressive liberal, or a hardcore Conservative Christian; okcupid doesn't work. Also, if you happen to be a progressive, you have to deal with all the women in an open relationship.


Lol what? That makes no sense I literally never met anyone like that on Okcupid. Hell I'm not either of those and believe in monogamy and I was on there (same as my partner). Maybe its just where you live?

I do live in a s**thole, so probably.


I am guessing you live in the Bible Belt because that is how internet dating has been for me as well.

I live in Baltimore.


Here in the Bible Belt, you either need to be a drunk and smoked out self-serving redneck or a hardcore 'gangsta' hip hopper to be considered attractive to women.



Datalis
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21 Jan 2017, 3:28 pm

At least housing is cheaper in the Bible Belt...



Jacoby
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21 Jan 2017, 3:35 pm

It probably can work, I read thru profiles on OKCupid sometimes and there seem to be some women who take it seriously but there are also a lot on there that are either fake or put zero effort into their profiles. Luhluhluh made a good post, it takes an tremendously thick skin and there is this 'kid in a candy store' type of attitude it seems so it really feels like you have to outcompete other suitors which is true irl as well. I just don't have the confidence in myself, if relationships are "what can you do for me" then I come out on the short end more times than not. Maybe if I were working, maybe if I had a car, maybe if I had a social life with a wide circle of friends, all those seem like a prerequisite for a guy before dating and don't you dare be anxious or depressed ever.

I'm sure if I send a message to every woman I saw on there some would respond, it seems like relationships in general are a numbers game for men.