People normalizing bullying you got as a child

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League_Girl
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03 Feb 2017, 4:34 pm

Does anyone hate it when people try to tell you what you went through about being teased and picked on and bullied was all normal? Does it make you feel crazy like you have mental issues and too sensitive that you can't handle normal things all kids go through, even if you got it all the time and were an easy target and to be told this was all normal?

I decided anyone who tells me this crap I will cut them out of my life and never talk to them again because I hate it when anyone tries to make me feel crazy and like I am exaggerating and whining. I even had a breakdown in 6th grade and couldn't go to school for a while and kids were spitting at me by 6th grade and I remember some kids would purposely do something with their candy or food and give it to me and then laugh after I would eat it and say what they had done to it like they had it in their mouth or they sat on it and farted on it or how they would trick me to get me into trouble and take advantage of me or how I was verbally abused by being told how stupid I am or retarded and how is this all normal? :evil:

If doing either of these things to a child is child abuse, then it certainly is abuse when a child does it to another child.


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I have a quilt of labels. I had a language disorder and a speech disorder. Then communication disorder NOS. My other diagnoses have been Language Processing disorder, dyspraxia, SPD, OCD, ADD, Asperger’s, anxiety disorder, adjustment disorder, anorexia nervosa. My mom’s labels of me are: eating disorder, anorexia, social anxiety, PTSD, just being sensitive and having the victim complex when I was a kid. And of course she says I’m normal and says the only thing I had as a child was language. Huh? I must have been a shitty person then and maybe a difficult child I was who had to be labeled because of incompetent school staff and mean kids who didn’t accept differences and because I was trying to be “normal.” :/

My blog: https://mynoneabdlthoughts.wordpress.com/


auntblabby
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03 Feb 2017, 4:36 pm

i'm wondering if the people who poo-poo bullying are themselves bullies?



Sweetleaf
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03 Feb 2017, 5:05 pm

Some people like to say 'everyone gets bullied', well yes I am sure most people have experienced some. But most people do not endure chronic bullying that is for sure.



League_Girl
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03 Feb 2017, 5:24 pm

I talked to my husband and he told me he got none of that stuff when he was a kid I described and that isn't normal and told me whoever says that's normal is crazy.

I have seen people think crazy things they think are normal like leaving a mark on a child after hitting them, teachers and coaches calling their players names and putting them down, parents kicking their kids out of their homes over normal teen stuff and also verbally abusing them and beating them up and yes my brothers friends thought my brothers and I had strange parents because they didn't beat us or kick us out of their home or call us names and they acted like we were human and that our thoughts mattered so they said our parents weren't normal and told them how they treated them isn't normal :lol: and I have seen a mom tell Dr. Phil on his show that it's normal to call your kid a b***h. Gee I must have lived a sheltered life because I didn't get any of this stuff from my own mom and dad. :roll:

And as for the bullying comment someone gave me on another forum, I am so crazy no wonder I am on SSDI because I can't handle normal things so I dramasize everything and exaggerate and fake everything because normal things cause me distress :lol: Gee maye I really do have mental issues. :P


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I have a quilt of labels. I had a language disorder and a speech disorder. Then communication disorder NOS. My other diagnoses have been Language Processing disorder, dyspraxia, SPD, OCD, ADD, Asperger’s, anxiety disorder, adjustment disorder, anorexia nervosa. My mom’s labels of me are: eating disorder, anorexia, social anxiety, PTSD, just being sensitive and having the victim complex when I was a kid. And of course she says I’m normal and says the only thing I had as a child was language. Huh? I must have been a shitty person then and maybe a difficult child I was who had to be labeled because of incompetent school staff and mean kids who didn’t accept differences and because I was trying to be “normal.” :/

My blog: https://mynoneabdlthoughts.wordpress.com/


TheSilentOne
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03 Feb 2017, 5:38 pm

I have had people say stuff to me like "everybody got picked on at one point or another" and that I need to "move on" and "get over it". I also have heard stuff like "they were just kids being kids" and "friends tease each other all the time". It really hurts to hear people say things like that. I was traumatized by a lot of the stuff that was said and done to me, especially the stuff done by people that I thought were friends.


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auntblabby
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03 Feb 2017, 5:46 pm

it's been my experience, that most "friends" are not really friends.



somanyspoons
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03 Feb 2017, 6:12 pm

One of the problems with popularizing anti-bullying programs is that kids with social power (and their helicopter parents) have glomed onto the idea. So, if they get in a fight with their friends, and someone does something mean and wrong, they will now call it bullying. This stuff, while unpleasant and calling for attention, is pretty normal.

What's not normal is the kind of systemic, long term, pervasive attacks that many of us had to endure. We're the ones who need all this anti-bully legislation, but somehow in the mix, it stopped being applied to kids who need it the most and started being used as another tool of the powerful.

*I should add the words "sometimes" and the phrase "in my opinion." I don't really have facts to back this stuff up. It's just my thoughts on the matter.



Private Idaho
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03 Feb 2017, 7:32 pm

People don't like to admit they were bullies. Often you hear from them "well, you sort of asked for it" and some probably think they were doing you some kind of a favor by showing you the social ropes.



auntblabby
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03 Feb 2017, 7:38 pm

some people have what has been termed "superiority complexes."



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03 Feb 2017, 8:00 pm

In my day, the bullies were usually the kids who got into trouble with the teachers and later, with the police. Today, with the advent of social media, it does seem that nearly everyone is doing it. I have seen some pretty nasty stuff. People routinely call each other "stupid," "idiot," and the like when they see something they don't like.



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03 Feb 2017, 8:59 pm

Bullying was considered an unfortunate and sometimes necessary normal part of growing up when I was a kid. Today it is politically incorrect to say that, but in some ways underneath all the outward saying how bad bullying is, in some ways attitudes have gotten worse. We call it being snarky, trolling, and look at the ratings for reality TV which most often involves people tearing each other to shreds for pure entertainment purposes. As long as it is in a comments section the saying the most vicious things is considered par for the course


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auntblabby
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03 Feb 2017, 9:23 pm

doesn't speak well of the human race, does it?



Private Idaho
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04 Feb 2017, 12:39 am

It has to do with man's inhumanity to man



slw1990
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04 Feb 2017, 1:16 am

Private Idaho wrote:
People don't like to admit they were bullies. Often you hear from them "well, you sort of asked for it" and some probably think they were doing you some kind of a favor by showing you the social ropes.


All it did was teach me how mean and manipulative people can be and to keep my distance.



MagicMeerkat
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04 Feb 2017, 9:02 am

auntblabby wrote:
i'm wondering if the people who poo-poo bullying are themselves bullies?


They usually are.

My mother always told me the bullying I endured at school wasn't as bad as I thought it was, that I was taking it personal and other s**t like that. She would bully me too, the the point I sometimes wanted to commit myself to get away from her. No one would believe me about what she was doing because she was so good at putting on a show around other people and where I was from, a parent physically abusing their child was seen as okay because "kids have to learn how to behave/listen". When she would tease or harass me and I called her out on it, she would get butt-hurt about it and say I interpreted it the wrong way, that I took it too personal.


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