Manipulated & Easily Led

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Is is typical for people on the spectrum to be manipulated or easily led.

I feel that I have been manipulated a lot in my life and was wondering if this was an Aspie thing or is it just because my mind is weak and doesn't spot when I being manipulated or led until it's too late.

I think it's easier for most of us to be manipulated since we have a harder time reading the body language to get the "gut feeling" that something is off about a person. There are quite a few posts about people being taken advantage of or being jaded because of the manipulation.

Thanks Doogie that makes sense

I have to be careful at times and over-analyze some situations if something feels "off" about someone's credibility or intent to avoid being duped. I don't think I was gullible when I was younger, but sometimes being literal-minded about things caused problems, although I think some people are such adept liars that they can fool aspies and NT people alike.

I think I'm as good as most people are at catching on quickly if something is too good to be true, like the difference between a get rich quick scheme vs. a legitimate job or business opportunity.

When I have been duped by someone, it's usually when someone is adept at embellishing the truth with exaggeration and lies, or is lying about something one usually wouldn't expect someone to lie about. More to due with being too idealistic about people than being easily fooled. For example, I knew a guy in high school who told BS stories about health problems, cool people he knew, and exciting experiences he had. I fell for it because it just didn't occur to me that someone would lie about having serious health issues, nor did it register as a lie when he was talking about interesting places he had been or people he knew because it all sounded plausible.

One thing I have found really disturbing is that I'm found myself being accused of deceiving and manipulating people when I've had totally honest intentions in a situation. Every now and then I get "too interested" in something and that apparently is seen by some as an attempt to con my way into a group or to misrepresent my interest or expertise in whatever that group is interested in.

I can think of one or two ways we can be at risk of either direct manipulation or becoming stuck in an unwise situation. As others have noticed, one cantaie the words as true and miss clues in things like body language. A second is where the Aspie sense of right and wrong can be played upon to gain a disproportionate input from the Aspie party, in time, perhaps money, or thecaspie ending up entering a relationship despite having no leading that way from the heart, but thinking in black and white that it was the right thing to do.

I was often led on as a child because I was so naive. I didn't understand their intentions or what their motives were. It made me very vulnerable. It taught me to not trust people and it made me learn what the laws are so no one can ever take advantage of me again. I will even go out of my way to do research so I can avoid being duped. Like if I want to buy a used car, I look up how to do it so I know what to look for what the red flags are so no one can dupe me. I even looked up job offer scams when my dad got an email for a job offer that was addressed to me. Yay for internet.

This can happen to anyone but some people are more vulnerable like the intellectually impaired, autism, and slow learners.

Just knowing someone out there recognizes me is thanks enough.

Life always seemed so close to chaos to me that I still have a strong tendency to assume that nobody would make things even weirder by lying. I'm pretty good at many "brain teasers" but the puzzles involving liars still stump me. This is a major vulnerability.
I also tend to have hard to fill requirements, and have frequently been tricked into the first half of "help me get my thing, and then I'll help you with yours."

I wonder if my attempts to understand deception better are what got me intrigued by stories about scams and con artists, both real and fictional. In the case of the real stories, there's a real interest in just how someone might have managed to pull off such elaborate cons. But ultimately what gets most liars caught is the arrogance fueled by getting away with it for a period of time. Or else when someone notices that something isn't quite right and starts digging.


In terms of being able to better defend yourself against being duped, it's also a challenge not to become too cynical or skeptical that you can't trust anyone.

When I was young, it was easy to trick me due to my literal thinking. I didn't understand that things don't really mean what people say. I used to think that being invited to "ride to the store and get a Coke" meant getting in a vehicle, riding to a convenience store, and purchasing a Coca-Cola. It turns out to mean "do you want to get in my vehicle and be raped?" And when a coworker says "do you want to have lunch at my apartment?" I had no idea it really meant "let's go to my apartment so I can hold you down on the floor and rub my penis all over your face while repeatedly asking you to open your mouth." But I don't fall for that anymore. Now I just say no to everything.

I'm with Simon01, I took an interest fairly early on in life in deception and the things humans will do to satisfy their appetites. At 17 I read a book called "Fools Die" by Mario Puzo. I came away from it feeling wiser and also more cynical. I was still naive and behind the curve on a lot of things, like nonverbal communication and relationships, but scams and scamsters are fairly easy for me to understand.
As an aside - and maybe worth another thread - I believe that some aspies have combined their ability to deeply learn/pursue a special interest AGAINST one of their weaknesses: that is, to have a special interest be something you were initially terrible at. When I was younger I deliberately took an interest in deception; putting myself in other people's shoes, as an intellectual exercise (theory of mind); and I love driving and am exceptionally good at it. All three of these are typical aspie weaknesses.

There are many people and groups that I gave the benefit of the doubt to for decades too long, partly to be polite, but I'm also very hard to fool when it comes to anything that can be verified with physics. Those lies are so plain to me that they seem like mere jokes. An author I know once praised the "Air (powered ) Car" in one of his columns, and I advised him that their brochure violated my high-school physics and math. He countered that so many people could not be wrong, but apologized two years later when a real road test was performed. NTs are so gullible that they just moved their stock fraud to Brazil and did it again.

Hi all. Me 48,Male.Single,unmarried and no children,many failed relationships behind me and alone 7 years now.I don't/can't work at the minute (i hope for change) .Physical/Mental or emotional problems block that .
As I stated,48 yrs old.With a list of mental health diagnosis as long as your arm,Depression,Bi Polar,Neurotic and so on ........ Many years of struggling in life,failed relationships,failed careers , you know what , just a failure. More attempts at getting help than you can imagine,Counselling,Psychologists,psychiatrists ,self help books, self help,self medication......
So I've been seing a new guy (professionally a Psychologist) and Autism comes up ,so I've had tests and done reading ,no "Official diagnosis yet" but a deff realisation and some understanding (of myself at last) .

Easily manipulated DEFINITELY . Due to poor social awareness and lack of understanding of people ,their motivations etc
Its a huge thing and dangerous to . Only being obvious to me having been in a relationship with a girl for 5 years. Pretty,sweet and petite,butter would not melt (In my mind) . But 24months after buying a house with her.Being talked into paying for everything Deposit,solicitors,mortgage retention,surveys and mortgage repayments as well as life and sickness insurances and all house related bills , but NOT having my name on the mortgage or any other legal document linking me to it . So 24 months after I am in hospital,9 broken ribs in a huge amount of pain laying there wondering what the hell had happened,who the hell had the previous night come into my bedroom and attacked me and why. Why as I lay sleeping did he drop a 30kg weight onto my chest as I lay on my back asleep and why was I laying there alone with no visitors,where was my GF. ?
My questions were answered by my 1st visitor 2 days later a male friend,mutual to me and my GF. He told me straight ,she's been seeing the guy that attacked you for 2.5 years ,we all knew but did'nt expect this ,she set you up dude,left the house while you slept n gave him a key to let him in,she wants you out of the house .But its all ok you can use my couch ..........
Took me a long while ,but looking back ,my life has been a series of although not so dramatic but similar events of manipulation ,mainly through just being clueless.I was taught to behave a certain way and assume others do to . My mistakes realised my chosen defence,total isolation,I don't be friend anyone and do not leave the house other than when absolutely necessary ........
So its taken nearly 50 years ,almost certainly I am on the scale or spectrum.Maybe I will gain more than just a diagnosis but maybe some tools to help me actually live,heres to hope........

I recognized you from the first glimpse I got of you, however, I tend not to give attention to such things, in case it could be unwanted. ; )

I think it depends on the situation, the type of manipulation and the level of experience one has encountered with manipulation/manipulative people. I think it is entirely possible for non-autistic people to be as vulnerable to manipulation, as it is, for an autistic person.

I was easily led on as a child. I don't know about being manipulated but I was easily led on and taken advantage of and tricked into doing things and I was very gullible. I was very naive and I also wouldn't notice kids were being mean to me. My little brother often had to tell my mother kids were being mean to me.

I have gotten better at it and now I don't trust everyone and if something is too good to be true, be skeptical. It's amazing how even NTs fall for things like scams for example. My dad once got a job offer in his email that was addresses to me so he printed it off and handed it to me and I looked up the company name and found no matches and looked up job offer email scams and found an article listing all the red flags for it and I then knew it was a scam. Years ago I got a $10,000 check in mail saying I had entered a sweepstakes and had won and I called the number and it was an Indian accent and he said to put it in the bank and call the number back. I went to the back the following day and showed the teller the check and asked her about it and said it was a scam. I threw it away and the paper and didn't call the number back. I like to educate myself on scams to avoid being a victim of one and learn the red flags.