how to go from not being busy to being busy.

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Sea Gull
Sea Gull

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Joined: 25 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 213
Location: Vancouver, British Columbia

24 Feb 2017, 7:01 pm

i've gotten so used to not having a busy life. i'm always at home watching movies and doing whatever in the comfort of my own home, but i always wanted to at least get into the habit of getting busy like being about to go out everyday and meeting up with people, running errands, having a life where i'm hardly ever home, but i don't have a car so i'm always afraid to be out past a certain time because its either i don't want to ride the bus at night or the buses stop running at a certain time and i don't want to be stick somewhere and have to walk home at night.

is there a way to have a busy life when you don't have one to begin with?

i always thought i would develop a busy life by having people over for movie and game nights or meet at a coffee shop and stay there till it closes. i get jealous of people who are always on the go and are never home, but on the other hand, i always get nervous when i do get busy because there's so much going on and i can't control it.


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Joined: 23 Jan 2017
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 286
Location: Ohio USA

24 Feb 2017, 8:36 pm

The only thing I do to busy myself is go shopping. I wish I had friends but I don't even have one. It's hard to have a game night when you've no one to invite over. I've accepted it.


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Joined: 21 Aug 2011
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,163

24 Feb 2017, 9:53 pm

Honestly, what you're envisioning is very much not likely to be quite what you get... usually people with very busy lives dont have that aspect because they WANT it, but usually because something is forcing it. Being super busy all the time is... extremely stressful. And in some cases, totally pointless: for example, why sit at a coffee shop until it closes if it's not serving some sort of purpose? It only takes a short time to get a coffee, and the rest of the time is just as un-busy as simply sitting at home.

Having at least some busy stuff to do is good, but seriously, it's best not to go overboard with it. You risk getting stressed out, overloaded, or other things.

In my case, I make sure to go out once a day via my car, so I dont go crazy, but I dont take it too far. Anywhere I could want/need to go is within 20 minutes of home, and I live in an area that's sort of middle of bloody nowhere, so it's not super stressful to drive (you couldnt PAY me to drive somewhere like Chicago, by comparison, which is basically a traffic-filled hellhole of a maze). I go to my mom's house for a visit, I might stop at the store to pick stuff up (or if I'm EXTREMELY bored, I might just do a quick walk around the Walmart and look at stuff... sometimes I find unexpected things I want to buy). Somewhat rarely, I go to friends' houses (I'd do this more often, but frankly it's usually very boring as I only have one shared interest with any of them. Also socializing gets annoying fast). If the weather isnt bloody terrible, maybe I might head to one of the forest preserves and go for walk. But that's really about it... a couple of hours of the day, and each destination has an actual purpose of some sort. Visiting relatives, buying useful things (food, usually), exercise, and so on. Aside from that, I tend to just do whatever, usually at home. And every now and then, I'll have a weekend where I'll travel somewhere to an anime convention, which is basically 72 hours of total chaos (except in the hotel room, which is calm). But that only happens so often, and the actual travelling part is stressful and sometimes confusing.

Wheras my father, on the other hand, has a really busy life most of the time. Much work to do, and LOADS of travelling. I've never known anyone that has to travel... usually by plane... even close to as much as he does. He's got the "busy" life you're talking about. There's always some meeting, some conference, some industry-related business convention, some formal dinner somewhere, always something, and about 85% of them are in some other state entirely. He's not exactly fond of it, I can say that much. Same with my stepmother, and she doesnt like it either. My mother and stepfather, not quite as much, but still somewhat busy and they dont like it too much either. Stuff like that usually ends up being a big hassle, in the end. Everyone is always tired. And that's not even counting basic errands like going to the store and such. During the day, when the local stores are a big pile of crowded idiocy and dumb, slow customers that drag everything to a near-halt (yeah, it happens even in the middle of nowhere). I go only at night, and even that is a pain in the butt.

And past all that, there are plenty of things you can do to keep busy that DONT involve having to unnecessarily go places. A variety of constructive hobbies are out there, and a variety of actual jobs that can be worked from home too. Find something constructive that you can do from home and give it a try. You might find that it fills up your time quite well. And specifically, fills it with something that is engaging and purposeful.